Mamacita says:  As of around 10 this morning, I am now a Great Aunt.  Yes, “great” as in “awesome.”  And, she said with a sigh, “great” as in “Criminy, I’m old.”  My Other Sister is now a grandmother.  Tumorless Sister – also a Great Aunt now – called to give me the news, and since I was already at the huge Louisville Christmas flea market, I took that opportunity to buy my new great niece a few* things.  Imagine: my beautiful little niece Stephanie is now a mommy, and her mommy is a grandmommy.  I’m Stephanie’s aunt, and now I’m newborn Cate’s great aunt.  Mother and baby both doing well, for which I am also grateful.  And, since I was over the state line, the whole experience was OUT OF STATE.

Um, that’s a joke.  You see, the actual expression was “out of SIGHT!.”  It’s an old hippie thing.  I used to be a hippie.  Then I was an aging hippie.  Now, I’m just hippy.   Oh, just let it go!  Heh.  I mean, CRIMINY!

Old people say stuff like “criminy.”  We also like to say “flabbergasted,” “mercy,” and “gee whilikers,” all of which are better than saying “%^&*,”###**%&^@!!,” or “Fucktastic” in any of its incarnations.

I also catch myself STILL saying “groovy.”**   It’s, like, you know, a hard habit to break.  Like crack.

Or a Snickers bar for breakfast every morning.

Oh, and since every single person on the planet seemed to be at the Burlington Coat Factory in Clarksville today, why didn’t any of you say “hello?”

This was a lovely day, actually, in spite of the fact that my Christmas tree fell down yesterday and I’ve yet to finish cleaning up the mess.  Sometimes, you just need to turn your back on a mess and go to the flea market.  You can always use a few new fleas.

Santa was there, checking out the etiquette and public behavior of the ten million children who were there.  I’ll have to say, most of the kids were doing pretty well, two exceptions being the two little boys who were opening toys and tossing them around whilst skating on the slick floors and squealing so loudly, the pervert from Deliverance would have run screaming.

Little children, do not open the boxes in stores.  Those things do not belong to you.  Hands off.  And, if you are unable to keep your hands off things in stores that do not belong to you, please remain inside the cart, even if you are twelve years old.

Hahaha, oh, what a picture!  That Mamacita, she’s such a kidder.

Um, no.

Moving right along. . . .

It was a great day.

*ten thousand

**PROOF that once upon a time, I was cool.