Mamacita says: This weekend is unlike any I’ve ever experienced, ever. I can’t remember it ever happening, anyway. If you are a pervert, burglar, murderer, or one of my stalkers, please cover your eyes as other people read the following: I’m alone in the house, ie, nobody’s home but me.
And since it’s temporary, it’s bloody awesome. It’s after 3 in the morning and I’ve got the music cranked up to eleven. I’m wearing flannel pants with skulls on them. (I was going to post a picture but maybe your imagination is better, here.) I’m eating pecans and caramel dip. With a spoon. Out of the container. Diabetes, hold thy tongue, because I’m going to make popcorn in a few minutes. With extra butter. I’ll blame any weight gain on my stupid former gym that moved the treadmills upstairs where I can’t access them. The dryer keeps beeping but I’m ignoring it, because it’s full of towels and I’m not folding them today. I’m surfing the net and commenting and writing articles and daydreaming about sleeping in. I’ve been reading and petting the cats and answering emails and doing pretty much everything except housework and grading essays. I haven’t worn shoes since Thursday night class. Really, the only normal thing I’ve done all day is shower, because even when I’m alone, you know, pew and stuff?
So what better topic for this weekend’s Quotation Saturday than The Weekend itself? Maybe, even, some odd quotes about The Weekend?
1. Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on. –Ed Howe
2. Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath. — Lyndon B. Johnson (If you know the history behind this quote, it’s even better.)
3. Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday. — Author Unknown
4. Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. — Bill Watterson
5. If I do not return to the pulpit this weekend, millions of people will go to hell. — Jimmy Swaggart (My apologies for including this one, but I can’t help laughing at anything he ever said.)
6. Every Friday I used to have about fifty, sixty kids who would wait for me on Sunset Boulevard and I’d take them all to dinner. All runaways. — Al Lewis
7. There is nothing, I think, more unfortunate than to have soft, chubby, fat-looking children who go to watch their school play basketball every Saturday and regard that as their week’s exercise. — John Fitzgerald Kennedy
8. I don’t know what your childhood was like, but we didn’t have much money. We’d go to a movie on a Saturday night, then on Wednesday night my parents would walk us over to the library. It was such a big deal, to go in and get my own book. — Robert Redford
9. The dog doesn’t know the difference between Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, so I have to walk the dog early those days too. — Donna Shalala
10. On a lazy Saturday morning when you’re lying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, there is a space where fantasy and reality become one. Are you awake, or are you dreaming? You see people and things; some are familiar; some are strange. You talk, you feel, but you move without walking; you fly without wings. Your mind and your body exist, but on separate planes. Time stands still. For me, this is the feeling I have when ideas come. — Lynn Johnston
11. Poetry is truth in its Sunday clothes. — Joseph Roux
12. What is to be done with people who can’t read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?… Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way. — Robert Benchley
13. Do not let Sunday be taken from you. If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan. — Albert Schweitzer
14. Measure not men by Sundays, without regarding what they do all the week after. — Thomas Fuller
15. I don’t like to be gone all weekend and at night too. Because for 20 years, I’ve had children who are in school. — Meryl Streep
16. I much prefer working with kids whose life could be completely upended by a reading of a book over a weekend. You give them a book to read – they go home and come back a changed person. And that is so much more interesting and exciting. — Russell Banks
17. If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. — Doug Larson
18. “- “I’ve been thinking Hobbes –”
– “On a weekend?”
– “Well, it wasn’t on purpose…” — Bill Watterson.
19. The rhythm of the weekend, with its birth, its planned gaieties, and its announced end, followed the rhythm of life and was a substitute for it. — F. Scott Fitzgerald
20. Can’t anything be done about calling these guys student athletes? That’s like referring to Attila the Hun’s cavalry as “weekend warriors.” — Russell Baker
21. I used to get a haircut every Saturday so I would never miss any of the comic books. I had practically no hair when I was a kid! — R. L. Stine
22. Later, in the early teens, I used to ride my bike every Saturday morning to the nearest airport, ten miles away, push airplanes in and out of the hangars, and clean up the hangars. — Alan Shepard
23. Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. — Ogden Nash
24. The worst thing about Saturday Night Live now is that, in the last 10 to 15 years, they’ve grown to some 40 writers. We had seven. And seven actors. — Chevy Chase