Mamacita says:  Let’s start the New Year with some opinionated rants and a question.  Here’s the question first:  Who are the A-list bloggers/social media people?  I know who’s not on that list.

Me.

I’m not on the cool kid list.  I’ve never been on a list for cool people.  Ever.

But I don’t care.  Really, I don’t.  I have my own interpretation of what that list would mean and the kind of people who would be on it.

ARE on it, I mean.

The kind of people who are on the cool kids list – a list of actually, genuinely cool people, that is.

Nice people.  Kind people.  Honest people.  Funny people.  Snarky people.  People with a wicked sense of humor.  People who are trustworthy, and reliable, and  don’t cut in line.  The kind of people who let others sit by them, or with them, or near them, no matter who or what they are.

Maybe even, people who don’t mind if I sit by them.

I am not an A-list blogger/social network updater.  I am an old-school blogger.  I joined Twitter and Facebook that first year they existed.  I’ve been here a while.  On my own blog, if I mention a place or product or service, it’s because I own it or like it or have been there, and it’s not for money.  I don’t make money as myself.  I write about myself, and things I like or just want to write about. Elsewhere, I do a lot of writing for clients, but that is quite a separate thing.

I’ve always been more than just a little bit quirky and nerdy, and I still am. I don’t care. I’ve never been cool. Not then, not now. I don’t care. (much)

In my Reader/friend list/etc. are people whose writing I read regularly. Are they A-listers? I don’t know. I don’t care, either. They are people I like, and even love, with blogs/updates/etc. I find interesting.  Their Twitter threads are interesting.  Their Facebook updates tell me about their lives, and their interests, and their opinions.  None of those has to be exactly like mine.  How boring would THAT be?  It is our differences that make life interesting.  We don’t have to agree on everything to be friends, real friends.

Would I delete any of them, and replace them with A-list people, so there would be nothing but the cool kids in my Reader/Facebook/Twitter/etc.? No. Why would I do that? I don’t write to be cool. (good thing, huh.) I write because “it’s” in me and “it” wants to get out. I love keeping up with people on Twitter.  I love learning about people’s lives on Facebook.  I wish more people still blogged, but I understand that decision, too.  I still blog, along with all those other platforms, but that is MY decision.  My blog is like a friend. It’s THERE for me. And since I went all WordPress years ago, it really IS always there for me. I also blog for businesses.  I go all watchdog on their comments, too, but I only delete the spams, robots, and obvious sales pitches.

The people I follow are friends.  They listen. I listen. They help. I help. We laugh and we cry and we are THERE for each other.   I include all my business blogs and clients – you might be surprised at the connections to be made that way.

What, she mixes business and pleasure?  She does indeed.  Much of the time, too.

She considers her clients to be friends?  She does that, too.  She’s crazy about ’em, in fact.

The internet is full of friends, seen and unseen, business and pleasure.  Both kinds are real. I consider them all to be real life friends.  People who don’t believe internet friends are real, true friends are hanging out at the wrong table.

Sometimes we pick our friends and sometimes they pick us. (insert crack about picking nose here) This holds true wherever we go. The internet is a place to go. There are lovely people there. There are also some awful people here.  You know, just like in real life.  That’s because the internet – the parts where we interact in each other’s lives – IS real life.

Delete an active blog from my list of regular reads?  Remove someone from my Twitter or Facebook account?   Delete someone who comments sincerely?  Delete a real person, someone who isn’t a robot, and who updates/comments in real time?  Why would I do that?  Why would I pare down a list for my personal convenience at the expense of possibly hurting someone’s feelings?

Nobody can ever have too many friends. And I’m still discovering treasures out there. Why would I stop mining for gold just because I found some already? In fact, if anyone is reading this and you know I don’t know you yet, tell me. I’m happy to meet you, and of COURSE you can sit with us.

Sometimes I read about someone going through his/her Reader/Twitter/Facebook/etc. and weeding out anyone who isn’t considered ‘popular’ by other bloggers, or who isn’t, apparently, useful enough. Some bloggers only want to hang out with the A-group. I can only assume they were like that in high school, too, and haven’t grown out of it yet, still, in real life. And I find this attitude sad, and even. . . . sick.  Okay, the word I’m actually thinking of is “pompous.”

I am not an A-list blogger. I’m often one of the first to be cut. That’s fine. Populate your feeds with well-known A-table people and see how many comments you get – that aren’t strictly business – from them. See how much advice and support you get. See how they will get to know you personally, and want to hang out with you. And when you comment on some of those A-list blogs. . . . oh, but wait a minute. Some of those blogs don’t ALLOW comments.

Don’t you get it? REAL bloggers welcome comments, and not just from people they know. Not from spammers or morons, but from real people who take notice and care. Many of those A-list blogs aren’t even real blogs any more; they’re just webpages with articles and self-promotion and speaking engagements and product endorsements and money-spinners.

Preaching to the choir is fine if you really don’t want to learn anything new from someone who isn’t already IN the choir.

But that’s okay. You’ve a right to please yourself; we all do. So delete everybody who isn’t ‘somebody.’ And yes, I know, that would be me. Go ahead.

That’s not how I do this, but we are all different. Sometimes, discovering just HOW different, in certain ways, is more than just a little bit disillusioning.

Sometimes it’s a LOT of disillusioning.

Do we EVER get to leave high school, I mean completely? Why is this nonsense still going on, and why is it still bothering me?

But it is. And it does. I wish I could say it didn’t, but it does. It even, kinda, you know, hurts.

But that’s okay. I understand. I’ll just take my bag lunch and go sit at another table.

You sit there and wait for the cheerleaders and the jocks and the student council president and the homecoming queen and people who can do something for you, and while you’re waiting for them, the rest of us will be sitting over HERE. And we will be having way more fun than you.

What do I know. I’m not cool.

But I know what the “social” in “social media” means.  And it doesn’t mean excluding people.  Well, unless they’re proven sociopaths, axe murderers, compulsive liars, dirty rotten scoundrels (although some of those guys are kinda fun), simpering morons, people who get in the “20 items or fewer” with a mounded cartful, Trump supporters, litterbugs, vandals, line cutters, or sissy sparkly vampires.  (brooding vampires welcome.)

Move over, B-table friends.  It’s my deal.  Double-bid, no-trump, high-low euchre, coming right up.  Pass the SweeTarts.  And yes, we’re all really listening.