I use this article in my classrooms every spring. I hope you will all find it useful as well. Information is life-saving, and this particular information contains more than one lesson for us all. I would be most grateful, and extremely interested in any comments you will make.
Dihydrogen Monoxide: When people do not have sufficient knowledge of science, terrible things can happen!
IX: Deadly science in the home: be sure you know what to look for!
Every year, thousands of people die from exposure to dihydrogen monoxide. Widely unreported by the media and virtually ignored by government agencies, this silent toxin remains unknown to the majority of people at risk.
Some officials believe that dihydrogen monoxide’s deadly facts and statistics will never be fully released to the public because of government dependence on its addictive qualities; in other words, the “feel good” sensations it can deliver are blinding people to the harm it can also cause, and it’s been proven that most federal, state, and local governments are made up of people who simply can’t do without it.
The presence of dihydrogen monoxide has been found in schools, businesses, and even homes, and traces of it exist in many toxic chemicals such as sulfuric acid and ethyl alcohol. Many estimates show that every home in America – if not every home in the world – contains a DHMO source, intensifying the danger of this potentially deadly and hazardous compound.
In addition to the dangers posed to living creatures, DHMO has caused billions of dollars worth of property and environmental damage. The chemical compound in DHMO has been known to wipe out entire cities at record-breaking speed.
Perhaps the most surprising aspect of dihydrogen monoxide is its wide-spread use in almost every aspect of daily life. Research has proven that this chemical compound is used for everything from sanitizer to pesticides. In recent years, dihydrogen monoxide has been used as a performance-enhancing supplement; in other words, athletes and potential athletes are using DHMO as an energy booster before a race or game, etc. (the fairness and sportsmanship of this practice is being questioned, but the use of DHMO by athletes is rising yearly.) Younger children, seeing the older athletes using DHMO freely, are imitating them in rising numbers.
A surprising number of young parents have been seen – in public – giving children as young as 2 weeks a dose of dihydrogen monoxide in order to quiet or silence them. One can only imagine how much DHMO these innocent babies are getting at home.
Dihydrogen monoxide is a popular, much-sought-after substance in the public schools. Even elementary children have begged for it, right in the middle of the school day, so addicted that they’ve become unashamed in their desperate longing for a “hit.” Little wonder, too, as we see so many adults carrying a stash of DHMO into stores and other public and private places, unable to do without a “hit” themselves.
When frozen, DHMO expands to the level that can cause severe damage to people’s homes, often in the night when people are sleeping. IN fact, DHMO can expand with such violent force that it is not possible to make a usable pipe strong enough to withstand this force. Variations of DHMO have also been found in homemade bombs, which would use the pressure and explosive power of this compound to destroy.
The American Burn Association has identified DHMO as a target for a public awareness campaign regarding the dangers of the compound, as even a simple action such as heating it in a microwave can cause it to explode unexpectedly and violently, causing first and second degree burns on anyone in its path.
Dihydrogen monoxide can also cause exponential growth of mold and bacteria. Under the right conditions, DHMO will encourage molds to grow rampantly, quickly covering surfaces and rising to toxic levels.
Even when people are well-trained in the use of dihydrogen monoxide, accidents will inevitably happen and are more often than not fatal. People’s failure to train their children in the proper use of DHMO will almost always result in shock/trauma at the very least, and brain damage and even death at the very worst.
Dihydrogen Monoxide is a clear and odorless liquid and is often difficult to detect; experts must be called in when a severe build-up is discovered. It is difficult if not impossible to totally isolate our society from dihydrogen monoxide, so our survival will depend on our skill in identifying it and using it properly.
Parents, especially, are urged to secure their homes against dihydrogen monoxide misuse, as the lives and well-being of their children, as well as themselves, depend on it.
Be cautious. Be careful. Most of all, BE AWARE.