Halloween is Rocky Horror Time!

Mamacita says: “Great Scott!”

Halloween has been and gone but it’s still THAT SEASON, which means many things, one of which is that I have a giant bowl half-filled with Tootsie Roll Pops and Hershey bars on my coffee table, and another of which is that I am once again compelled to obsess over my favorite cult film, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

“I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey.”

Please remember that I am a sedate and typical possibly not-as-young-as-you-are woman, and the following information may or may not be true. Probably it’s not, because sedate and typical women, particularly mothers of innocent children, never do such things, and are in fact appalled at the very notion.

“Hot patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock n’ roll!”

It may come as a bit of a surprise to some of you, or maybe not, that when I was a lot younger, My boyfriend and I might have gone to the midnight showing of this film at least once a month, and that rumor has it that he went as Riff Raff and I went as Magenta, the Domestic. It’s possible that I went with a deck of cards, a newspaper, a water gun, a baggie of rice, a party hat, a garter, and a noisemaker. Perhaps I even owned fishnet stockings. I still know every song by heart. I used to do the Time Warp. Maybe. In another time, and another space. Not to mention in a smaller body.

I may have used the decks of cards as frisbees; I really can’t remember that far back.

It might also be true that, long ago, I used to teach my study hall students to do the Time Warp, but then again, unless you were there, you’ll never know.

“Don’t dream it; be it.”

Speaking of sexy men (Oh, were we? Well, we are now.) I have this to say: Tim Curry. Then and now, but especially then. I know you all want desperately to see a picture of Tim Curry in drag. Well, I do, anyway. Like many of us, he used to be really hot. (Don’t look if you’re all prudey and pruney; fair warning.) (Oh, for heaven’s sake, you’ve already seen it on the movie poster!)

It’s a dreadful movie, really. Silly, soft-pornish, ridiculous, terrible acting, stilted dancing, camp at its best worst. . . . And yet, for some reason, it’s endeared itself to many people in spite of it all. I still love it.

“It’s not easy having a good time! Even smiling makes my face ache!”

These days, what I remember most is that my outfit was a size 5. In short, the domestic’s costume no longer fits, in more ways than one.

Memorize the entire movie? My goodness, that would be ridiculous for a woman my age! Why, I’m almost hyperventilating at the very thought!

“Your new playmate is loose and somewhere in the castle grounds.”

Rumors that I have a membership card in my wallet may or may not be true. I’m officially grown up now; why would I do that, now really? And why would I own one of the few copies of the soundtrack from the sequel? Shock Treatment? Or a Richard O’Brien cd?

And for you Star Trek fans out there, I’ve included a second video, proving that you can’t escape from the Time Warp, even in outer space. I might add, one would probably be even more apt to encounter a time warp in outer space. Well, it seems logical to me.

“They” say that Peter Hinwood, who played Rocky, is so mortified by his participation in this movie that he can’t even talk about it.

I hope everybody noticed Barry Bostwick’s appearance in the Rocky Horror Glee episode. . . .You won’t see him in the Glee video, but believe me, he was there.

I’m a big Bostwick fan. I even remember that he was the original Danny in Grease.

“If only we were amongst friends… or sane persons!”

In context, the whole Rocky Horror thing is so absurd it’s, well, absurd. Taken out of context, some of the music is really good. This song, most of which was deleted from both the American and the British versions of the film, still has the power to make me pensive.

I’ve done a lot, God knows I’ve tried
To find the truth, I’ve even lied
But all I know is down inside
I’m bleeding.
And Super Heroes come to feast
To taste the flesh not yet deceased
And all I know is still the beast
is feeding.
And crawling on the planet’s face
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time, and lost in space
And meaning.

And, I’m really glad that whoever-was-responsible-for-such-things finally wised up and put “Superheroes” back in the movie. I love that song. I couldn’t find the actual video of it, but this is singing by the cast, even if it’s not the movie itself.

This is not a movie for children; perish the thought. But it’s a fun romp for adults. Learn to participate; it’s fun. Don’t forget the party hats.

Of course, if you don’t have time to watch an entire movie, you can always check out the bunnies.


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