My cockles itch. I need magic. Drugs ain’t working.
Hey HEY! I leave for BlogHer in a few days, and I want to make a good impression on everyone there, so I thought that it might be nice, today, to work out in the yard; you know, mowing, weeding, standing around in tall grass, tearing grape vines out of shagbark hickory trees, and just generally tearing my hands to a bloody pulp and laying a buffet for the chiggers.
Let me put it another way: I’ll be the fat chick covered with red spots the size of dimes, excusing herself every few minutes to go scratch where the sun don’t shine.
I am miserable. The itch quotient is a number that would take too much space to type.
I’ll be using the next couple of days learning to scratch myself with my toenails. I know it will be subtle and graceful; nobody will even notice.
I’ve been so stressed over this and that lately What with one thing and another, I forgot about Quotation Saturday. It warms the cockles of my heart that so many people missed the quotes, and emailed me to ask for a late edition. I always listen to my cockles, so here it is: Quotation Saturday Monday.
1. Music and art must have their prominent seats of honour, and not merely a tolerant nod of recognition. –Tagore
2. Still seems it strange that thou shouldst live forever? Is it less strange that thou shouldst live at all? This is a miracle, and that no more. –Edward Young
3. Learning teaches how to carry things in suspense, without prejudice, ’till you resolve. –Francis Bacon
4. It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. –FDR
5. Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one’s mind. –W.S. Maugham
6. Music is your own experience, your own thoughts, your wisdom. If you don’t live it, it won’t come out of your horn. They teach you there’s a boundary line to music. But, man, there’s no boundary line to art. –Charlie Parker
7. Marriage is a wonderful invention, but then again, so is the bicycle repair kit. –Billy Connally
8. It’s no good saying “Hold it!” to a moment of real life. –Lord Snowden
9. Each man’s memory is his private literature. –Aldous Huxley
10. He has Van Gogh’s ear for music. –Orson Welles
11. There is but one morality, as there is but one geometry. –Voltaire
12. Music is but a living application of mathematics. — Gino Severini
13. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. –Frederick Evan Crane
14. Men who never take back their words love themselves more than truth. –Joseph Joubert
15. A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer. –Dean Acheson
16. A jazzy musician is a juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges. –Benny Green
17. Keep out of ruts; a rut is something which, if travelled in too much, becomes a ditch. –Arthur Guiterman
18. Your giving a reason for it will not make it right. You may have a reason why two and two should make five, but they will still make but four. –Samuel Johnson
19. The greatest reward for doing is the opportunity to do more. –Jonas Salk
20. Rumors always have been powerful. But, somehow, an internet rumor casts a spell. It’s in writing, and it comes from the almighty machine. –Wyatt Andrews
21. Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do. –James Harvey Robinson
22. . . . and though the tongue has no bones, it can sometimes break millions of them. –F.L. Lucas
23. Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. –Pablo Picasso
24. God gives sleep to the bad, in order that the good may be undisturbed. –Saadi
25. The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine. –Emerson
26. Great numbers of moderately good people think it fine to talk scandal; they regard it as a sort of evidence of their own goodness. –Frederick William Faber
27. Our disputants put me in mind of the scuttlefish that, when he is unable to extricate himself, blackens the water about him till he becomes invisible. –Joseph Addison
28. He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts – for support rather than illumination. –Andrew Lang
29. Anyone can observe the Sabbath, but making it holy surely takes the rest of the week. –Alice Walker
30. There is nothing makes a man suspect much, more than to know little. –Francis Bacon
31. We are not punished for our sins, but by them. –Elbert Hubbard
32. The really serious things in life are earning one’s living so as not to be a parasite, and loving one’s neighbor. –W.H. Auden
33. I can’t say I was ever lost, but I was bewildered once for three days. –Daniel Boone
34. Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around. –Thoreau
35. Things work out best for the people who make the best out of the way things work out. –Anon.
36. It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window. –Raymond Chandler
37. It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard. –Dorothy Parker
38. The only time we should look down upon another man is when we are bending over to help him up. –Unknown
39. I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow. –Woodrow Wilson
40. Bullies are always to be found where there are cowards. –Gandhi
41. Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance. –Robert Quillen
42. The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people meaner. –Karl Kraus
43. Democracy without education is hypocrisy without limitation. –Iskander Mirza
44. Nine out of ten juvenile delinquents are just inferior. –J.D. Tanguey
45.
A man on a mission is far different from a drone on a deadline. –Rheta Grimsley Johnson
46. One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. –A.A. Milne
47. Seize the day: it’s the only one you can be sure you’ll have. — Unknown
48. Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind. –Einstein
49. To lead a symphony, you must occasionally turn your back on the crowd. –Unknown
50. Much can be achieved with a smile. Admittedly, much more can be achieved with a smile and a big stick. –Anon.
A friendly reminder – and remember, my cockles itch and I’ve got a big stick* – that the deadline for submitting your articles to this week’s Carnival of Education is Tuesday evening, 6 p.m.
* Have at thee, Google.
Mamacita, Scheiss Weekly