Are Our Children Really Overprotected? I Think They Are.

bratMamacita says:  Are we protecting our children too much?  Everything is so bland, so effortless, so sanitary, so entitled, so sterilized, so soft, so completely without risk, requiring little or no talent or skill, so full of self-esteem and so lacking in merit, that it is little wonder so many of our young adults wouldn’t survive three days on a desert island without a camera crew on hand to keep them alive when push comes to shove.  There’s no WiFi on a desert island.  Many people would die in less than a week without their WiFi.  (They don’t know how to grow or hunt their own food or make a fire or a shelter, etc.  They’re pathetic.)

We’ve got children who not only wouldn’t know how to climb a tree to save themselves from a bear attack, they probably wouldn’t know any better than to assume the bear was a sweet thing that welcomed a Kodak moment.  We’ve got children who’ve never walked around their own block without at least one adult present.  We’ve got children who have never in their entire lives played in their own back yard without adult supervision.

Our kids have never organized their own games, made their own friends, walked to the neighborhood store, jumped rope, been outside after dark, put lightning bugs in a jar, or gotten dirty without a scolding.

Today’s kids get passing grades without really passing, sports trophies without really playing, and attendance awards even when they’ve missed six days for orthodontia appointments.  Bullies receive more sympathy and help than their victims.  Disruptive students are allowed to remain in our classrooms, destroying the learning opportunity for other kids.  (Disability or not, no child should be included IF that student presents a danger to other children, or in any way prevents other children from learning.  I’m not backing down on this one.)

These kids have no organizational skills because all their school supplies are in big bins that everyone helps himself/herself to – many of these students will go to college and expect their professors to provide the pencils and paper.  How do I know this?  I am a college professor, and every semester, at least one younger student wonders where the paper, pencils, paper clips, and staplers are kept.  When they are told to supply their own, these students are absolutely flabbergasted.

Many kids these days would not know what “flabbergasted” means.

Their playgrounds look like the toddler room in the church basement, not a single pair of jeans has had to be patched, they’re chastized if they get dirty, and they have never had a broken bone or stitches from just being a kid and playing in their lives.  Simple falls, slips, bumps, and bruises are Benadryl foddder.  They’re not allowed to climb because they might fall.  They can’t whirl and twirl because they might fall. They can’t run because they might fall – or make some child who can’t run as fast feel bad.  They can’t throw or kick baseballs or footballs or kickballs because someone might get hit, or get upset at witnessing another child’s skill.  Imaginative play is forbidden lest it include a pirate sword or a finger gun or some kind of sexist, non-PC labeling.

What’s next?  No walking, because they might fall?  It wouldn’t surprise me.

Many kids are not allowed to make their own friends because unless the parents can also be friends, it just ain’t happening.

Children are allowed to run wild in public places, eat and drink anywhere they want, talk during movies, and pretty much rule the roost in their own homes and anyone else’s, too.

Excuses, reasons, and rationalizations are made for all misbehavior.  It is never the child’s fault.  He can’t help it.

Many children eat what they want whenever they want it.  Parents are so afraid little Lulu and little Tubby will be hungry or their self-esteem will be eroded that they cater to these little monsters in every way.  If anyone objects or finds fault, that person must be a child-hating ogre who just doesn’t underSTAND how sensitive Lulu and Tubby are.

Teachers are too strict and require too much.  Theater patrons who glare have forgotten how it was to be a free-spirited child.  Restaurant servers and customers are just hateful selfish beasts who ought to appreciate children and not expect them to be sentient. Fast-food restaurants FORCE families to eat there every night, and that we are all fat isn’t our fault -it’s the restaurant’s fault for MAKING us go there.

Am I in a bad mood?  Not at all.  I am actually more amused, in a head-shaking, disgusted, sarcastic, snarky way, at so many young parents these days who are making it so difficult all the time when it really shouldn’t be.

When people allow children to be in charge, life is going to be hell.  Plus, these parents are also responsible for encouraging their children to grow into adults who must be ever entertained from without, who can’t sit still for thirty seconds, who have poor eating habits, shoddy entertainment preferences, and a sense of entitlement and blamelessness that should shame the nation.

P.S.  Parents who allow their children to be in charge DESERVE the hell they are nurturing.  Is that harsh?  Bite me.  The truth hurts.

Yes, I am aware that such things have been said about the younger generation for thousands of years.  That doesn’t make it any less true.

I love children too much to stay quiet.  We need to nurture them, love them, cherish them, and require them to genuinely grow up, and that means, to have the knowledge and skills to take care of themselves and of others.

Nobody has the right to be helpless unless he/she really is.


Comments

Are Our Children Really Overprotected? I Think They Are. — 19 Comments

  1. Remember those big, high, shiny-as-the-sun slides we used to climb up, and slide down, that were really slick because we’d rub sand on them to make them faster and shinier?

    A lotta kids have never had that fun. I read a post recently that said playgrounds are too safe. Yeah! Really, we were proud of our skinned knees and dirty clothes.

    Kids today. Poor things. They don’t know any better. But we do. :/

  2. Remember those big, high, shiny-as-the-sun slides we used to climb up, and slide down, that were really slick because we’d rub sand on them to make them faster and shinier?

    A lotta kids have never had that fun. I read a post recently that said playgrounds are too safe. Yeah! Really, we were proud of our skinned knees and dirty clothes.

    Kids today. Poor things. They don’t know any better. But we do. :/

  3. I teach high school, and I’m always amazed at how helpless some kids are. They can’t take a project with explicit guidelines, and improvise on little things (they keep coming to me for permission). They can’t manage to get the Flinn safety contract signed by a parent and returned, and therefore, miss a lab or two until they do (they can’t believe that I won’t let them participate). They can’t organize themselves enough to bring supplies; remember to head their paper (I DON’T stoop to trying to recognize the handwriting), or take their homework out of the bookbag.

    In every class, however, I have 1 or 2 kids who are competent. It’s a pleasure to have them there, and I use them as resources for the incompetent.

    BTW, have you ever had a kid who walks around with a button missing, because they don’t know how to sew another on?

    Unbelievable!

  4. I teach high school, and I’m always amazed at how helpless some kids are. They can’t take a project with explicit guidelines, and improvise on little things (they keep coming to me for permission). They can’t manage to get the Flinn safety contract signed by a parent and returned, and therefore, miss a lab or two until they do (they can’t believe that I won’t let them participate). They can’t organize themselves enough to bring supplies; remember to head their paper (I DON’T stoop to trying to recognize the handwriting), or take their homework out of the bookbag.

    In every class, however, I have 1 or 2 kids who are competent. It’s a pleasure to have them there, and I use them as resources for the incompetent.

    BTW, have you ever had a kid who walks around with a button missing, because they don’t know how to sew another on?

    Unbelievable!

  5. There are the haves and then there are the have-nots. Kids who aren’t coddled or nurtured. Kids who have seriously crappy lives because their parents aren’t adult enough to put them first…not in the sense of giving them everything they want, but in giving them what they need.

    I understand what you mean and it seems we are now a world of extremes with kids who are given too much and kids who are given too little. Where’s the happy medium?

  6. There are the haves and then there are the have-nots. Kids who aren’t coddled or nurtured. Kids who have seriously crappy lives because their parents aren’t adult enough to put them first…not in the sense of giving them everything they want, but in giving them what they need.

    I understand what you mean and it seems we are now a world of extremes with kids who are given too much and kids who are given too little. Where’s the happy medium?

  7. I so agree with you post. I grow very weary of having several children during recess who pool up around my feel and lean their sweaty little bodies against protesting there is nothing to do and they don’t know what to play. Seriously? All sorts of playground equipment including balls, etc. and they don’t know what to do without an adult telling them what to do. Sheeple……

  8. I so agree with you post. I grow very weary of having several children during recess who pool up around my feel and lean their sweaty little bodies against protesting there is nothing to do and they don’t know what to play. Seriously? All sorts of playground equipment including balls, etc. and they don’t know what to do without an adult telling them what to do. Sheeple……

  9. Absolutely on target. I feel so bad for today’s youth — either they’re overprotected or they’re not protected at all. Bad outcomes, either way. I think cell phones contribute to both of these tendencies. Either parents are constantly checking on their kids, not trusting them to take care of things themselves; or kids are using cell phones to spend way too much time with their peers, in locations unknown to their parents.

  10. Absolutely on target. I feel so bad for today’s youth — either they’re overprotected or they’re not protected at all. Bad outcomes, either way. I think cell phones contribute to both of these tendencies. Either parents are constantly checking on their kids, not trusting them to take care of things themselves; or kids are using cell phones to spend way too much time with their peers, in locations unknown to their parents.

  11. Amen.

    And I would add, that if you do happen to be a parent who PARENTS, who is not their child’s friend until that child is an adult, who insists on basic rules, basic courtesy, basic life skills, then not only will your children have a hell of a time finding like-minded marriage material, you will end up re-parenting your children-in-law so as to protect your grandchildren from their dangerous damaging ineptitude.

    Excuse me, I’m just back from a family camping trip. You can’t scream in the bush, it echoes too much.

  12. Amen.

    And I would add, that if you do happen to be a parent who PARENTS, who is not their child’s friend until that child is an adult, who insists on basic rules, basic courtesy, basic life skills, then not only will your children have a hell of a time finding like-minded marriage material, you will end up re-parenting your children-in-law so as to protect your grandchildren from their dangerous damaging ineptitude.

    Excuse me, I’m just back from a family camping trip. You can’t scream in the bush, it echoes too much.

  13. Love, love, LOVE every point you made. So very sick of hearing the excuses parents make for their kids. Their kids who couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag without help. And yes, I am their elder, they should behave respectfully around me. They should not be mouthy, grab things out of my hands or take my seat if I get up briefly. Oh, and if you use my first name (without asking my permission, of course) then it better come out of your mouth with a Miss in front of it. My mother was an educator and I was mortified by what you all have to put up with from the kids and their parents. It shocks me these adults can look you in the eyes and throw out ridiculous defenses of their children. No, the teachers are not picking on your poor baby. He’s just an obnoxious, unruly brat that ruins each day for the rest of the kids in his class. Parents need to start being accountable.

  14. Love, love, LOVE every point you made. So very sick of hearing the excuses parents make for their kids. Their kids who couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag without help. And yes, I am their elder, they should behave respectfully around me. They should not be mouthy, grab things out of my hands or take my seat if I get up briefly. Oh, and if you use my first name (without asking my permission, of course) then it better come out of your mouth with a Miss in front of it. My mother was an educator and I was mortified by what you all have to put up with from the kids and their parents. It shocks me these adults can look you in the eyes and throw out ridiculous defenses of their children. No, the teachers are not picking on your poor baby. He’s just an obnoxious, unruly brat that ruins each day for the rest of the kids in his class. Parents need to start being accountable.

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