Scheiss Weekly

Monthly Archives: February 2011

"I Base Most Of My Fashion Sense on What Doesn’t Itch"

Mamacita says:  I’d like to tell you that my fashion sense has improved since I wrote this post so long ago, but even though I’ve awoken somewhat to what people are wearing these days, I’m still a flat-out C minus in fashion awareness. Fair warning: I have no sense of taste when it comes to [...]

Yes, I Fear I’ve Definitely Said Too Much

Mamacita says:  Several years ago, we cleaned out the garage because it was so full of  “stuff,” we couldn’t even park a car in there. For a while, all was well. When the weather got cold, I parked the car in the garage and never had to scrape the windshield; it was great. We lived [...]

Center of the Universe, You Say? I Think Not.

Mamacita says:  All my life I have loathed the expression, “Act your age.” Even as a child I wondered how a person could ‘act’ an age; the best I could ever do was to ‘be’ an age. “Act” always connoted phoniness to me. I totally agree with the little girl in this joke. How can [...]

Quotation Saturday: The Presidents Speak

Mamacita says:  For Presidents’ Day, I thought I’d feature a quotation from each of our presidents.  No matter what our personal opinion of a president might be, he is the leader of our nation and the position, if not the person, deserves some respect. 1.  To be prepared for war is one of the most [...]

There Are All Kinds of Enslavement

Mamacita says:  I posted this in 2006, but I’ve been thinking about this same thing all day so here it is again. My blog, my rules. Here’s the post: Is anyone else out there lucky enough to have a job that makes you so happy that all you have to do is walk into the [...]

Elevator Etiquette 101

Mamacita says:  These are, of course, Things Nice People Already Know. Basic Elevator Etiquette for Dummies: 1. Push the appropriate button. If the button is already glowing, do not push it. If you repeatedly push an already-glowing button, everybody will know what you are. 2. Stand back. LEAVE ROOM FOR PEOPLE TO EMERGE FROM THE [...]

Love Stays

Mamacita says:  Happy Valentine’s Day. Not because it’s a man-made holiday that exploits the guilt feelings of both men and women and forces them to go forth (or fifth) and spend a lot of money on flowers that will die and candy that will be eaten, but because it’s just one more excuse for people [...]

Things I Still Haven’t Done Yet

Mamacita says: what’s the hurry, anyway? 1.  I have never used an ATM machine.  I have a feeling it would be the beginning of a bad personal habit. 2.  I still have never watched a single Survivor-type show.  Still not interested. 3.  Ditto for Oprah, and even less interested. 4.  The Christmas wreath is probably [...]

Too Much Discussion Makes Me Think, and We Can’t Have That!

This post is dedicated to Bitchie Lou, a student from a few years ago whose babyish behavior, constant whining,  and terrible manners have earned her the title of “Worst Student I’ve Ever Had, So Far.” This is not a title I want to ever have to bestow again, so don’t get any ideas, students dear. [...]

Mom’s The Word

Mamacita says:  I was reading an article somewhere, by somebody*, that stated that no matter how old we get, there are still times when we want our mother. Our fifty-year-old mother. When our mothers are young, we don’t consider them ‘friends.’ We don’t consider them young, either, because when we’re very young, all adults are [...]