Another Mothers’ Day Without Mom
Mamacita says: I cherished my mother, and would give anything if she were still here so I could bring midnight cake and flowers and perfume and dinner and new shoes to her, still. If your mother was less than perfect, you don’t have to feel as I do. It’s not a contest.
If your mother is gone, for whatever reason, you aren’t obligated to mourn, but if you feel like mourning, then do so. I miss my mother every day, but if you don’t miss yours, that’s okay. Not everybody is as lucky as I am, with their mothers. And sometimes, the same mother is viewed differently by different offspring. That’s okay, too.
But I think you all already knew that my relationship with my mother was wonderful. We had our differences, and she could be quirky (good think I’m not) but I appreciated her care of me all my life, and I was glad to care for her those last few years.
She was always there when I needed her.
Mom was a nurturer, and I benefited greatly from that. Nobody is perfect, but that’s how it’s supposed to be. Perfection is a done deal, and relationships are ongoing and ever-changing, not a done deal.
I miss my mom. And when I’m feeling down, I miss my mommy. I don’t need a special day to think of her, but if some of you do, that’s okay, too.
Even if a mother was not all she should have been. . . even if a mother was abusive. . . . even if a mother was absent too much. . . . even if a mother was a drunk, or a druggie, or a whore. . . . think hard. There is something to love in spite of all that. And if there isn’t, that’s her fault, not yours. I loved my mother. I hope there is someone in your life, whether it’s a mother, father, aunt, uncle, neighbor, whoever, who made you feel like my mom made me feel.
And if you still can’t think of anybody, come on over.
Again, Leave Your Sleeping Teens ALONE
Mamacita says: I just read another post wherein moms were adamant that their teens NEVER got to sleep in. They got up early every single morning, by gosh and by golly, and had chores to do. Apparently, chores that couldn’t be done later. Getting up early builds character. Only lazy people sleep in the morning. And also apparently, adults in their house were not allowed to sleep in, either. People got up early in the morning because people were supposed to get up early in the morning so by the great horn spoon, EVERYBODY should get up early in the morning. Etc.
I thought a lot of things about these moms but the main thought I thought about them was how grateful, genuinely grateful, I am that none of those women was MY mom. My mom was a GOOD mom. She understood that three of her four kids were wired for the night. Left on our own, in a perfect world, we are creatures of the night.
Somehow, in spite of our slovenly, lazy ways, we managed to earn our own livings, raise our own children, some of whom are also night owls, and live productively in spite of not willingly adhering to the horror of the dawn except when absolutelhy necessary. She herself always got up early, but unless we had to go to school or a job, or had an appointment, she let us sleep. Parents who don’t, are not good parents. Bring it on.
My 37-Year-Old Sourdough Starter
Mamacity says: I took my 37-year-old sourdough starter out of the freezer and fed it. It’s still bubbling after all these years. When I stopped baking bread for local restaurants, I started keeping my starter in the freezer, taking it out and feeding it mostly before holidays or reunions. I last used it for Thanksgiving 2021. If you treat it right, it will never go bad, and the older it gets, the better it is. Kind of like. . . us.
