It's Not My Fault. Pay Me.
Mamacita says: I first saw this cartoon a few years ago when I was thin and I thought it was funny.
Of course, I didn’t know then that it wasn’t a cartoon at all, but an actual documented photo of evil recurring entities, plotting to destroy the self-esteem of a lady who looks a lot like me and who is really very nice unless you piss her off.
Years ago, I gave in to them then out of pain and frustration and nasty medications that invited these entities to take up residence without even feeding them, but this time? I’m going to win.
Example: There were doughnuts in the lounge today at the college, but I didn’t touch them. Of course, I am not all that fond of doughnuts but even so.
Thank goodness there wasn’t a big bowl of M&M’s in the lounge. I’d be defeated instantly.
Plain or peanut: I’m not particular in my obsession for them. Obsession, I’m telling you.
It’s not my fault. I should be getting government money, in fact. It’s nothing that can be controlled by any normal means. It’s a disability.
I have OCM&MD.*
I’d stop if I could. Don’t let them near me. It’s not my fault. Pay me.
*Obsessive/Compulsive M&M Disorder
Then and Now: What A Difference A Word Makes!
Mamacita says: I love grammar. I love the logic of it. I love how there is a name and purpose for each word in a sentence. I love how it takes a little intellect to put a good sentence together. I love the almost mathematical precision of a good sentence, coupled with the brilliance of imagination and personality. A good sentence is science, plain and simple. A good sentence is composed via a formula that, when followed, creates an artistic thought that can be seen by others besides ourselves.
The action or linking part of that sentence is the verb.
But just how important can a verb be? I mean, if it were so important to choose verbs carefully, why do most of them have a million synonyms, thank you very much Mr. Roget. Just find a verb that describes the action you need to describe and that’s it, right? One’s as good as another. They’re only verbs, after all. How could it be any kind of big deal which one you pick?
Well, kids, I’ll tell ya. And please remember that all words have a denotative meaning (dictionary definition) and a connotative meaning (what your mind does with the denotation, ie “fat” is somehow fatter than “plump,” etc.)
Let’s use a couple of common verbs for examples: STOP and BLOCK.
Denotatively speaking (see above) these two words are almost identical. In a thesaurus, their synonyms overlap.
Thesaurus entry for “stop” and for “block:”
Main Entry: stop
Part of Speech: verb
Synonyms: arrest, avoid, bar, block, bottle up, break, can, check, choke, choke off, clog, close, congest, cut off, disrupt, fill, fix, forestall, frustrate, gag, hinder, hold back, hush hush, ice, impede, intercept, interrupt, muzzle, obstruct, occlude, plug, rein in, repress, restrain, seal, shut down, shut off, shut out, silence, stall, staunch, stay, stem, still, stopper, suspend, throw over, turn off, ward off
Main Entry: block
Part of Speech: verb
Synonyms: arrest, bar, barricade, block out, blockade, brake, bung up, catch, charge, check, choke, clog, close, close off, close out, congest, cut off, dam, deter, fill, halt, hang up*, hinder, hold up, impede, intercept, interfere, occlude, plug, prevent, shut off*, shut out, stall, stonewall, stop, stop up*, stopper, stymie, tackle, thwart
And these two fraternal twins differ. . . . how?
Like this:
Back in the day, when I wore shorts and began my descent from the car in a public place, I could stop traffic.
Now, that same action would block traffic.
Any questions?
No-Bake Cookies, Again? Your Wish Is My Command
Mamacita says: Hot weather must have arrived for good because I’ve had a kazillion (rough estimate) requests for the No-Bake Cookies recipe, so here is the one I use. Please bear in mind that I do not use actual measuring spoons for recipes I use a lot.
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No-Bake Cookies
Put the following in a large bowl and set aside:
3 tablespoons cocoa
3 cups quick-cook oats (regular oats work fine, too. I like them better, in fact.)
Huge blob of peanut butter (my kids liked lots of peanut butter in the cookies) (use less according to your own taste; the recipe actually says 1/3 C.) (The more peanut butter you use, the more nutritious the cookies will be.) (I’m fat and tend to rationalize a lot.)
2 teaspoons vanilla
Put the following in a medium-sized saucepan:
2 cups white sugar
1/2 cup milk
6 tablespoons butter or margarine
Bring to boil, stirring constantly. Once mixture begins to boil, cook one full minute (watch the clock hands; don’t overcook!) and then remove and pour over mixture in the big bowl. Mix well.
Place on waxed paper by spoonfuls.
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I made these cookies a lot when my kids were little because A) they were really fast and easy and I didn’t have to heat up the oven in the summertime, B) they contain oats, milk, and peanut butter, which by my mind constituted a nutritious breakfast, and C) I like them too.
If you let them boil past a minute, they get harder. (not an intentional innuendo.)
I got this cookie recipe out of a little hand-made cookbook of recipes the children had liked over the course of the year that Andy brought home from PreSchool when he was three years old. His teacher was constantly making and sending home helpful things like that; I still use many of them, and I really appreciated, and STILL appreciate, her thoughtfulness in going that extra mile. (I still put all the little ornaments with his picture on them, that she made for each of her tiny students every Christmas, on our tree.) I thanked her each time then, and here’s still another ‘thank you’ twenty-some years after the fact. Thank you, Karen, for taking such good care of my little boy so long ago. I think of you every time I get down this little orange cookbook, held together with blue yarn, with his tiny handprint on the inside front cover, and full of easy, inexpensive, mostly nutritious, and tasty recipes. My son loved you, and this made it easier to drop him off every morning.
I ain’t sentimental or anything.
Y’all enjoy those cookies now.
