Happy Mother’s Day to All, and to All a Good Night

Mom at 17Mamacita says: I was reading an article somewhere, by somebody*, that stated that no matter how old we get, there are still times when we want our mother. Our fifty-year-old mother.

When our mothers are young, we don’t consider them ‘friends.’ We don’t consider them young, either, because when we’re very young, all adults are old. Heck, our 12-year-old cousins seem like adults.  Our 22-year-old teacher and Grandma: one and the same, age-wise. No, to a child, most adults are old; they’re not sweet young things. They never were; it’s not possible.

Our mother was always a mother.  She had no life before us.  She’s just Mommy, when we’re young, and when she’s young. We don’t even know she was young till we look at old pictures. And then we’re blown away because, “Oh my gosh, look how YOUNG she was there!”

But as we get older, our mothers seem to stay the same, and somehow the years between us don’t matter as much as they used to.

They stay the same, that is, until we take a good long look at them and it hits us that they look old. Not just mom-old, but OLD. Wrinkly. And you know there’s white underneath the Miss Clairol. And they aren’t as sure-footed as they used to be.

This is shocking, but it’s okay, as long as the MOM is still there inside the stranger-every-day body. You know, MOM. The lady who can make magic with a word or a touch? Her? That’s the one.

Good thing WE’LL never get old like that, huh.

I’ve read that when we are in our twenties, the fifty-year-old mother is somehow at her peak of Mom-ness and Friend-ness. Our fifty-year-old mother is an expert in so many things.

What we don’t realize is that our fifty-year-old mother is still missing HER fifty-year-old mother.

And what very few of you know yet, is that your fifty-year-old mother is still as insecure and wondering as she was when she was in her twenties. Your fifty-year-old mother is still beating herself to death over mistakes she made when you were three.

How do I know this? I’d rather not say.

The seventy-year-old mother is still cool. Still Mom. It’s just that the fragility is starting to show, and the mortality thing comes to mind more than we’d like.

The fifty-year-old Mom is the epitome of Momitude. She KNOWS things. We should listen more to our fifty-year-old Mom.

Unless she’s a meddling idiot with outdated stupid ideas and a lot of unwanted advice, of course. You don’t have to listen then.

Chances are, however, that if your fifty-year-old Mom is mean and judgmental and delights in hurting people’s feelings, she was exactly the same when she was in her twenties. Bodies change a lot**. Personalities seldom do.

The following has been making the internet rounds for a long time now, and most of you have no doubt seen it before. However, I’m posting it anyway, because for some reason, it means more to me with each passing year.

============

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She’s way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

======

Let’s talk things over with Mom while we have the chance.

If your own mommy doesn’t appreciate you, come right on over here. I’m not saying exactly how old this Mommy is, but she’s in her peak and prime of Momitude.  I do, however, screw it up sometimes, even now.  I do my best.  That’s all we can do, in any and every phase.

I have a lot of advice, but I’ll wait till you ask me for it***.

*If I knew the author and the name of the article, I’d have mentioned it up above, silly.
**Unless you’re Jamie Lee Curtis.
***Most of the time.

Teacher Appreciation 101

NO. Please, no.

Mamacita says: Every year around this time, I like to re-run this little piece about choosing a gift for your children’s teachers. We really do appreciate anything and everything we receive from our kids and their families, but some things are appreciated a little more than others.

********************************************************************************

The school year is winding down;  summer vacation is just around the corner, and It’s time to be thinking about giving your child’s teacher a gift of appreciation.  After all, this dedicated professional has spent more time with other people’s children than their parents have, and deserves some little something to show them you care.  You don’t have to do this, of course; in fact, most families don’t, but if you do, here are some suggestions.

Might I suggest – nay, plead – that you NOT give your child’s teacher a candle, statue, t-shirt, mug, plaque, hankie, seasonal brooch, earrings (unless they’re actual jewelry), snowglobe, poster, pencil holder, candy,  book (unless you know for sure it’s one she/he really wants), toiletry (unless you know exactly what kind he/she likes) homemade goodies (however pinteresting they might be), or a framed picture of your child? Teachers have more than enough of that stuff, and we never really liked most of it in the first place. Trinkets are something that must either be displayed or packed away, and who has the space to do either? The third option will be explained later in this post.*

I loved your children, but I didn’t want their pictures on my wall or dangling from my Christmas tree or sitting on my desk. Those spaces are for my own children.

Yes, please. Oh dear lord, YES.

What your child’s teachers really want are gift cards to restaurants, stores, and cool educational websites. Your child’s teacher would genuinely appreciate some genuine appreciation. Teachers have very little spare time; gift cards to restaurants are really appreciated. The best educational toys are found online, and since science isn’t tested in most states yet, science toys would be met with grateful thanks of such sincere intensity that you might shed a few tears, yourself.

Teacher Appreciation certificates, good for merchandise, are also well-received. The simple act of letting a teacher know that he/she IS appreciated is really all we want, but a little swag added to it is nice, too.

I know it’s easy, heading to the Dollar Tree or WalMart or one of those overpriced classroom supply stores when it’s time to get a little something for Billy’s teacher, and anything sincerely given is sincerely appreciated. But if you want your child’s teacher to remember you forever as a parent who KNOWS, go for the science toys, restaurant cards, and even a mall card, good for every store in the shopping center. If the teacher has young children herself/himself, fast food cards are a lifesaver; you know how much YOU appreciate having the wherewithal to run through the occasional drive-through, well, a teacher is just like you, except he/she has 30 children (200 if he/she is a secondary teacher) instead of three and less free time than . . . . well, you. If your kid is in secondary school, please don’t forget those teachers, too. Elementary teachers always rake in the loot, but junior high and high school teachers, who deal with hundreds of students each day, are often forgotten.

Amazon cards are lovely, too. Breathtakingly lovely.

*Oh, and that third option, for dealing with the onslaught of the candles, picture frames, apple-shaped stuff, mugs, ornaments, and trinkets?  Brace yourself:

Summer yard sale. Do you really want to see the gift your child gave his/her teacher on the ten-cent-table?

But then, what would YOU do if you were given forty trinkets every year?

So, do what I tell you. Gift cards. Restaurant cards. Science toys. Certificates of appreciation/swag-of-choice.  Starbucks.  Prepaid Visa.  (A girl can dream. . . .)

Amazon card. iTunes. (Make sure the teacher uses iTunes first.)

Teachers are people, you know. Most of them are INTERESTING people. They have actual LIVES, lives that really don’t include ten thousand candles, statues, picture frames, and “World’s Best Teacher” mugs. They don’t really want more wax and ceramics, but they could really, really use some gifts that give them a little breather (coughcoughrestaurantcardcough), and useful things they can actually use at home or in the classroom.

Please include a positive, grateful note.  That will be the best part.  Those, we save.  You don’t even need to include a gift – a positive, grateful, thank-you means so much.  I’m not exaggeration.  Those notes mean the world to a teacher.  I’ve saved every one I ever got.

P.S.  Did I mention that your teacher already has enough mugs and lotion to start a shop?  I did?  Well, I”m mentioning it again.

P.P.S.  Even if we already love you, your child, and the whole family, please be careful about bringing a teacher home-made edibles.  We have allergies, too, or diets, or even just likes and dislikes.  I hate to break it to you well-meaning, generous, lovely givers, but most homemade goodies end up in the wastebasket.  All those adorable, crafty, homemade “favorite teacher” treats you’re seeing on Pinterest?

No.  Thank you, and we appreciate the effort and we know you are appreciative, but. . . . no.

P.P.P.S.  I’m mentioning gift cards again.  Total coincidence.

P.P.P.P.S.  One of the best gifts I ever got from a parent was a pair of razor-sharp fabulous fantastic marvelous Fiskar’s scissors.  It was over ten years ago, and I still thank that woman every time I run into her.

P.P.P.P.P.S.  I also adore the 2-ft.-tall hourglass a student gave me.  Not every teacher would, but this kid knew me well.  Who else among you has a gigantic 2-ft.- tall hourglass, prominently displayed in the living room for all to see? That’s just what I thought.  I rule.

 

Good People Exist & They Shall Prevail!

cream risesMamacita says: I tend to stress and focus here on people who are, let us euphemistically say, somewhat less than nice, or less than hardworking, or less than considerate, etc. Let’s face it: those are the people who “stand out” sometimes, which is most unfortunate since such people don’t deserve to stand out.

My question is simply this: What has happened to us as a society that we give all this time and attention to such people when it’s the OTHER kind of people who are most deserving of it?

In any group of 100 people*, for example, 95 of them are good, kind, honest, decent, considerate, intelligent, polite, hard-working, savvy people. 95 out of 100 people earn a living, help others, discipline their children, read things other than the sports page, keep promises, control their hormones, appreciate, thank, accept responsibility for their own actions, and take care of their responsibilities properly and well. These people know what love is, and what love does. I shall refer to this group as the “cream.”

As for the remaining 5, who lie, cheat, steal, abandon, betray, abuse, annoy, harm, distract, neglect, attack, ignore, and defy**, and who choose themselves and their own personal convenience first, above and beyond any person or any responsibility they might have, and who consider “consequences” as some coincidental oddity that occasionally falls from the sky for no apparent reason, and just generally do their utmost to prevent others from learning, achieving, living a good life, being comfortable, feeling secure, or in any way being able to trust? These people believe that love is sex. I shall refer to this group as “skim milk,” or , the “lowest common denominator.” (LCD)

The lowest common denominator is, naturally, at the head of the line when it comes to attention-grabbing, which is one reason the media is all over them like piranha on a cow’s hind leg. The lowest common denominator is fascinating to read about, for their antics and general lifestyles are so far from what decent, intelligent people believe and do that it’s often like watching or reading about an alien species.  (Hoarders.  Honey Boo Boo.  I rest my case.)

Which, indeed, it is. And not a superior one, either. Quite the opposite. Maybe, an evil alien species that’s trying to take over the planet in order to drain it to keep itself alive. “To Serve Man” etc.

While the lowest common denominator is out there doing its “thang,” the cream is busy taking care of people: their own, and those the lowest common denominator left behind. The cream is working two or three jobs, making sure their children and other people’s children have shoes and milk. The cream is trying desperately, with little or no support, to educate both the cream and the LCD, often amidst great reluctance at the best and chaos, destruction, and harm at the worst from the lowest common denominator. The LCD will often protest being asked to lay aside their egos and fun and body parts – instant gratification – merely for the sometimes delayed gratification of thinking, connecting, exploring, and probing their heretofore unexplored brains. That’s too hard, and besides, most of the LCD don’t have a large enough vocabulary to make very many connections. Small vocabularies are also one of the causes of much of the violence: when someone doesn’t have the means to communicate verbally, he/she tends to strike out physically.

The more words we know, the more connections we are able to make. The more connections we are able to make, the more we can understand. The more we understand, the less apt we are to be violent.

The more we understand, the more we want others to be able to understand, too.

Uneducated, undereducated, lazy, small-minded people perceive the world to be equally small, and treat it likewise. To the LCD, the world is a buffet of victims and freebies, all of which belong to him.

The cream tends to perceive the world as being just like themselves: eager to know, willing to learn, trustworthy, hardworking, and worthy of respect. Even after being victimized time and again by the lowest common denominator, the cream still has hope.

I wish the media, the business world, and the schools would stop giving the lowest common denominator so much more than their fair share of attention or focus. Making headlines out of adultery, betrayal, violence, bullying, drugs, disruptions, adultery, selfishness, etc, somehow makes such things “okay” to a person without the means to make proper connections. “Wow, it’s in the paper! Cool!” is not a good attitude to cultivate in our young people, or in our LCD older people, either.

The cream doesn’t usually make headlines. The LCD have money, and they aren’t interested in spending it to find out about cancer cures, rocket science, volunteering, sacrifice, donations, and people who go about their lives quietly, decently, doing the right thing even when the wrong thing would be easier and a lot more fun. The LCD feed on discord and personal pleasure, and lately they’ve had plenty to feast upon.

No matter how the lowest common denominator may prosper, and no matter how much attention they get from the media and the people who finance it, and no matter how much our schools ignore, neglect, and even punish the pupils and teachers who work and care above and beyond the norm, the cream will continue to work, care, love, and display those very unfashionable traits like loyalty, fidelity, ethics, citizenship, good behavior, charity, and other positive attributes laughed at, devalued, and mocked by the lowest common denominator

In the end, the cream will rise. It always does, no matter how hard the LCD tries to push it down or mix it up. The cream will continue to rise, and work, and love, and be shining examples that get no press to those fortunate enough to know them.

The lowest common denominator may get most of the attention, money, services, and press, in business, education, media, etc, but it is the cream who will ultimately rise to the top.

Let’s all give the cream the time and attention they so rightly deserve.

* I made up this statistic, but I stand by it.

**The bad, negative kind of “defy,” not the cool, out-of-the-box kind that creative people are often forced to do.

Oh, oops, is “stupid” a politically correct word? My bad. And, too bad. Used properly, it’s the perfect description for some.

Besides, overuse of political correctness and euphemisms cheapens our language, and our society.

Bring it on.

No More Death, I Mean It! (Anybody got a peanut?)

imagesMamacita says:  Every day, it seems, another icon dies.  It’s getting to the point where I am almost scared of my Twitter feeds – the letters “RIP” are appearing way too often, and they are taking my childhood with them.  They’re taking big chunks of my current life, too.

There are people who are always supposed to be there, even if they’re strangers we know only from the big screen, small screen, book covers, stage, radio. . . .  It’s getting to the point where watching a fairly recent movie wherein everybody in the cast is still alive is more and more rare.

Is this why so many television shows are killing off favorite characters faster than we can adjust our hearts to the loss, to help us cope with real people dropping off the face of the earth, no more to entertain or love us?  I’m not actually talking about people we know personally – family, friends, etc.  That is also happening at a rate faster than our hearts can take, but this post is about “celebrity” deaths that make us cry, because, in a way, we also love those who make us laugh, cry, and enjoy life more because they were there, even though these people don’t know us.

I can barely think of my beloved Madeline L’Engle without sobbing about never knowing what will happen to her characters now. . . .

I am thinking in particular of Roger Ebert and Richard Griffiths, but whenever I watch an old movie (or a new one, for that matter!) I find myself looking at the beautiful, healthy, talented people and wondering how they could possibly be dead.

Then again, maybe that’s one of the wonderful things about preserved media – it makes us all immortal.

I do have a message for all of you living people, however.  Here it is:

Don’t die.  I can’t take much more of this.

Then again, maybe I’ve just been watching too many “What’s My Line” celebrity guest shots from the 1950′s and ’60′s – so much talent, most of it gone.

Thank you, film, for preserving this talent so we can appreciate it years and years after these wonderful people have gone.

And now, I’m heading back to Tweetdeck, fingers crossed.

Also?  Hourglasses used to scare me to death when I was a child.  I think it has something to do with The Wizard of Oz.

 

The Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide: Prevent a Tragedy With Science

I use this article in my classrooms every spring.  I hope you will all find it useful as well.  Information is life-saving, and this particular information contains more than one lesson for us all.  I would be most grateful, and extremely interested in any comments you will make.

=========================================

Dihydrogen Monoxide: When people do not have sufficient knowledge of science, terrible things can happen!

IX:  Deadly science in the home: be sure you know what to look for!

 

poisonEvery year, thousands of people die from exposure to dihydrogen monoxide.  Widely unreported by the media and virtually ignored by government agencies, this silent toxin remains unknown to the majority of people at risk.

 

poisonSome officials believe that dihydrogen monoxide’s deadly facts and statistics will never be fully released to the public because of government dependence on its addictive qualities; in other words, the “feel good” sensations it can deliver are blinding people to the harm it can also cause, and it’s been proven that most federal, state, and local governments are made up of people who simply can’t do without it.

 

poisonThe presence of dihydrogen monoxide has been found in schools, businesses, and even homes, and traces of it exist in many toxic chemicals such as sulfuric acid and ethyl alcohol.  Many estimates show that every home in America – if not every home in the world – contains a DHMO source, intensifying the danger of this potentially deadly and hazardous compound.

 

poisonIn addition to the dangers posed to living creatures, DHMO has caused billions of dollars worth of property and environmental damage.  The chemical compound in DHMO has been known to wipe out entire cities at record-breaking speed.

 

poisonPerhaps the most surprising aspect of dihydrogen monoxide is its wide-spread use in almost every aspect of daily life.  Research has proven that this chemical compound is used for everything from sanitizer to pesticides.  In recent years, dihydrogen monoxide has been used as a performance-enhancing supplement; in other words, athletes and potential athletes are using DHMO as an energy booster before a race or game, etc.  (the fairness and sportsmanship of this practice is being questioned, but the use of DHMO by athletes is rising yearly.)  Younger children, seeing the older athletes using DHMO freely, are imitating them in rising numbers.

 

poisonA surprising number of young parents have been seen – in public – giving children as young as 2 weeks a dose of dihydrogen monoxide in order to quiet or silence them.  One can only imagine how much DHMO these innocent babies are getting at home.

 

poisonDihydrogen monoxide is a popular, much-sought-after substance in the public schools.  Even elementary children have begged for it, right in the middle of the school day, so addicted that they’ve become unashamed in their desperate longing for a “hit.”  Little wonder, too, as we see so many adults carrying a stash of DHMO into stores and other public and private places, unable to do without a “hit” themselves.

 

poisonWhen frozen, DHMO expands to the level that can cause severe damage to people’s homes, often in the night when people are sleeping.  IN fact, DHMO can expand with such violent force that it is not possible to make a usable pipe strong enough to withstand this force.  Variations of DHMO have also been found in homemade bombs, which would use the pressure and explosive power of this compound to destroy.

 

poisonThe American Burn Association has identified DHMO as a target for a public awareness campaign regarding the dangers of the compound, as even a simple action such as heating it in a microwave can cause it to explode unexpectedly and violently, causing first and second degree burns on anyone in its path.

 

poisonDihydrogen monoxide can also cause exponential growth of mold and bacteria.  Under the right conditions, DHMO will encourage molds to grow rampantly, quickly covering surfaces and rising to toxic levels.

 

poisonEven when people are well-trained in the use of dihydrogen monoxide, accidents will inevitably happen and are more often than not fatal.  People’s failure to train their children in the proper use of DHMO will almost always result in shock/trauma at the very least, and brain damage and even death at the very worst.

 

poisonDihydrogen Monoxide is a clear and odorless liquid and is often difficult to detect; experts must be called in when a severe build-up is discovered.  It is difficult if not impossible to totally isolate our society from dihydrogen monoxide, so our survival will depend on our skill in identifying it and using it properly.

 

poisonParents, especially, are urged to secure their homes against dihydrogen monoxide misuse, as the lives and well-being of their children, as well as themselves, depend on it.

 

poisonBe cautious.  Be careful.  Most of all, BE AWARE.