Peter Pan and Tinker Bell and Asses: How Cocky!
Mamacita says: When I was in the third grade, I read “Peter Pan.” It’s not all the sugar-coated cuteness Disney would have you believe, my friends. It’s a wonderful and fascinating and intimate look into the brain and psyche of children of various ages AND their parents. It’s accurate and hilarious and downright scary. It’s a psychological novel about dreams, and the brain.
It’s full of analogies and symbols and beautiful mind-art that permits us to share the fantasies of other people.
It’s a peek into how different good and evil are from one another, and how distressingly alike they can sometimes be, and how one will often present itself as the other.
It’s about children hovering on the “firly brinkmire” of adulthood and feeling their hormones even without understanding what was happening. Well, Tink and the mermaids knew, but Wendy didn’t. Yet.
Captain Hook stresses good form and lovely manners and the fine points of etiquette even while murdering children. Yes, he did. Captain Hook and Smee and all the rest of the pirates hunted down children and murdered them.
Wendy had so looked forward to meeting mermaids, but although the mermaids are 
beautiful and their singing is lovely, they are mean, vicious bitches who try to kill Wendy.
The Indians are presented in what would, nowadays, be considered a disgracefully stereotypical way, but Tiger Lily was cool, and unlike many supposedly intelligent adults in these modern times, children still have a sense of the context of the times and can see through it to what it was meant to be.
The thing is, all the Neverland females were hot for Peter Pan, and they recognized, in Wendy, a real rival.
I do not pretend to be a master of Pan interpretation, but I know what I see when I see it myself. I would never presume, unlike many book censors, to say ANYTHING about a book that I had not personally read. (Censors are Satan.)
I bring all of this up to introduce my most vivid memory of this book, in third grade, in Mrs. E’s class. I had to sit by Tommy, who teased unmercifully and who was only inspired further by the usual shrugs and exasperated sighs that I knew how to defend myself with.
Then, inspiration hit me. Tinker Bell, who is a dirty uneducated uncultured servant-fairy, the bottom of the social heap, sooty and ignorant and really quite cruel, had a saying she used whenever she was angry with Peter Pan. She uses it first when Peter is trying to
fasten his shadow back on with soap. I loved the sentiment even while I felt guilty agreeing with Tinker Bell because Peter was, unfortunately, pretty stupid, but she was just so AWFUL. I felt sure I could use this statement on Tommy with success, so I tried it out.
“You silly ass.”
He ratted on me to the teacher, and she reamed me out but good, in her gentle concerned way, reducing me to tears with but a few words.
I had no idea what I’d done. I had NO IDEA what I’d said that was so horrible that my teacher whom I loved and adored took me out in the hall and told me how disappointed she was in me and that my parents would have to be notified and that she would have to think about my punishment, as no child had ever done what I had done in her room before.
But what was it that I had done? Was quoting Tinker Bell a crime? And if so, why?
My parents did not curse or call names in our home and I had seen the word ‘ass’ only in its context as an animal, one of many at the manger when Our Lord was born. Was there something bad about the ass, too? Should it not have been there with the ox and the lamb? Was it a bad animal, and was that why Tinker Bell used its name when she was angry?
Mrs. E would not explain. She just kept saying that I knew perfectly well what I had done and since I had chosen to do it, I would have to pay for it.
Whatever she did to me later couldn’t possibly be worse than what she was doing to me right then. I didn’t know what I’d done. I had quoted Tinker Bell. From “Peter Pan.” When Tinker Bell said it in the book, nothing terrible happened. It was her opinion at that moment of whoever was annoying or upsetting her. It seemed to work in the book.
It sure didn’t work in third grade, though.
Of course, I knew, even at the time, that because Tinker Bell was low-class, dirty, unschooled, and that even the other fairies looked down on her for her crudeness, some of what she did and said wasn’t quite what nice fairies or little girls would have done or said, but I still thought that if it were in a book it couldn’t be wrong.
Tommy, you silly ass, why did you have to bother me so that I felt it was necessary to use Tinker Bell against you? If you had just behaved yourself, as I was trying to do, it never would have happened.
But the real silly ass here is Mrs. E. For one thing, she was an elementary teacher, a teacher of small children, a college graduate, but she did not recognize the quote even though it was from a famous novel and had been made into a children’s movie, and for another, she did not believe a good little girl who tried to explain to her the quotation’s source and why it had been used.
All she heard was that a student in HER ROOM had used the word “ass.”
When I went home that day, in tears and in a cold dread of what my non-bad-word-using parents would say, I got a surprise.
Dad laughed until he was almost sick, and Mom, while she didn’t laugh and I suspect didn’t quite understand why Dad was laughing, she at least took my side. Together, they explained that even teachers didn’t always read things they really should keep up on if they were going to teach children who read them, and that some children, like annoying Tommy, didn’t know any other way to get someone’s attention except by pestering them.
I decided on that day that people who pestered for attention weren’t worth bothering with, and that if I were ever a teacher, I would stay up nights if that’s what it took to keep up with what my students were reading.
Two of the few resolutions I have managed to keep.
Surprisingly, Mrs. E. remains one of my favorite teachers. I think maybe that learning to ‘see through her’ so early in the year gave me the ability to understand her a little better. (She was well-meaning but clueless, and it’s really not right when a child can figure that out) Certainly it gave me the courage to stand up for myself. It’s sad, though, when an eight-year-old child feels maternal and protective toward an adult who is supposed to be in charge. All that year (well, until she got pregnant and was forced to quit because if we kids had seen her looking pregnant we would have known for sure that she’d had sex, not that I would have known what that meant either never having even heard of that word yet) I stayed after school and helped her clean the board, clap erasers (I bet some of you don’t know what that means!) and put her files in alphabetical order because (gasp) some of the dimwits in that class didn’t even know how to do that and it was supposed to be done at the end of each day and most of the kids would rather just leave their stuff in a mess for the teacher to put to rights so I just did it for her.
She also used to give me a dollar and send me across the VERY BUSY STREET to the gas station for a carton of Big Red pop twice a week. I loved doing that, especially; my parents never let me go inside when they stopped there for gas because it was ‘rough.’ I didn’t know what they meant by that, but I did know that most of those men in there had read “Peter Pan” because they talked about my teacher’s ass all the time.
If all you know about ‘Peter Pan’ is that insipid Disney movie, please check out the book. It’s NOT just for children. It’s awesome.
Watch out for the bad language, though. That horny slut Tinker Bell will do or say anything to get Peter Pan in her clutches. This includes murdering Wendy. There are also drugs. Cripes, now I have to re-read this book. NOW.
Sadly, it also forced me to learn a very important lesson: a college degree doesn’t make someone a teacher.
Thank goodness I didn’t tell Tommy he was being “cocky.” That’s how Barrie described Peter Pan. Even Peter’s shadow looked cocky. Wendy’s mom thought so, too.
Imagine. “Tommy, you’re a silly, cocky ass.” I’d still be in reform school today. Some people don’t appreciate cool words.
Mr. and Mrs. Darling would be in there with me, though. They left those three children home alone while they went out to a party. Nana was a good nanny, mind you, but still, she was a dog.
A dog.
Who’s the silly ass now?
I’m Going To MixWest and You Should, Too
Mamacita says: This summer, I had to choose only one conference, so I chose MixWest. There really wasn’t a lot of thinking involved in this decision; my budget is so low this summer that only one conference was possible, and if I had to choose only one, it would be MixWest. Hands down. Without a backward glance.
I’ve done a lot of writing for clients these past ten years, and it’s extremely important to me that I do it exactly right – I want my clients to look at my work and think, “Yes, that’s what I wanted. That’s precisely what I had in mind.”
When I take on a client – or, rather, when a client takes on me – promises are made. My day job is teaching expository writing at a community college, so I promise every client that each and every piece of writing I do for him/her will be grammatically correct, and that every word will be spelled properly. This might sound trivial to some of you, but believe me, it is not trivial. Grammatical mistakes and misspelled words on a business level can be disastrous. I tell my students constantly that if there is a misspelled word or a grammatical error on anything presented to the public, that same public had best COUNT THEIR CHANGE, because errors in the front where all can see them usually mean even worse errors in the back where the public can’t see them.
I believe that everyone in every career path owes it to himself/herself and to those who hired him/her to keep skills updated at all times. This goes for teachers, brain surgeons, fry cooks, opera singers, lawyers, accountants, mechanics, IT, underwriters, undertakers, salespeople. . . . everyone. Much of this updating and upgrading can be done on one’s own, of course, but a conference is an excellent opportunity to learn best practices, new practices, innovations, and experiences from professionals, advisors, and people who do what you do and have therefore “been there, done that.” At MixWest, you will find people who actually understand what you do for a living!
The conferences I love best are BlogHer, New Media Expo, and MixWest. I can’t get to BlogHer or New Media Expo this year, but I’ll be there in spirit. However, I’ll be at MixWest in all possible ways: heart, soul, body, spirit, humility, and snark. It would take an advanced case of leprosy or an active volcano to keep me from MixWest. (Invading aliens could be talked into going to the conference with me.)
I’ve never attended a conference from which I didn’t come away a little smarter (or a lot!), but I go to each one for different reasons. The skills, networking, and connections I make at BlogHer, or New Media Expo, for example, are very different from the skills, networking, and connections I make at MixWest. If all conferences were alike, I would need to go to only one. No two conferences are ever alike, so savvy people try to get to as many as possible. We learn different things and we’re exposed to different ideas at each one. For me, MixWest offers the best combination of people and learning opportunities.
MixWest is in two weeks, and I highly recommend that you go to its website RIGHT NOW and register, because MixWest (formerly Blog Indiana) is where I have picked up more useful skills than in all my years of graduate school. I am not exaggerating.
Social media, marketing, tech, design, writing – if your area of business uses any of these things, you will find much at MixWest that will enhance your business. That’s a promise.
Oh, and if there is such a thing as a business or institution of any kind that does NOT use social 
media, marketing, tech, design, or writing, somebody is a big fat liar. EVERY business needs all of those things, and don’t let anyone ever tell you differently, be that ‘anyone’ an individual or board or rich guy or son-of-the-boss or Les Nessman with his invisible office walls. Learn to use these things or your business will start circling the drain. If you personally can’t be arsed to learn or do them, hire someone who can and will. (Hello!)
MixWest is my conferences of choice for summer 2014, but there are many other conferences as well. Pick a few and start going regularly. You’ll be surprised at how fast your business will benefit from just a little more savvy in these areas.
Hospitals, schools, stores, companies. . . EVERY business benefits from social media, marketing, tech, and design. If a business has these things locked down, there is something seriously wrong somewhere inside the premises.
Most important, in my own experience, are the contacts you will make – people you will see regularly at conferences year after year. Ultimately, it is people who help people. I have met many people who have helped me, enriched me, and shoved me through doors that have benefited me in too many ways to list here. I hope to sit by some of them once again in just a few days.
Maybe YOU could be at our table, too. That would be bloody awesome.
Two weeks, MixWest. To quote the Pointer Sisters, “I’m So Excited!”
Blogging Is Dead? Says Who?
Mamacita says: Blogging is dead? Says who? Blogging may have changed, but bloggers still rule the internet. Bloggers are helping people form viable opinions, giving people first-hand information, helping people make purchasing decisions based on word-of-mouth and actual “regular people” experience with a product, and giving people hope by sharing real life with the world.
Notice that I did not say “ordinary life” up there. There’s a reason for that.
There is no such thing as “ordinary life.” And if there were, who would want an ordinary life? The word “ordinary” is as offensive as is the word “average.” Average is as close to the bottom as it is to the top.
When we read blogs we are being invited to come in, sit down, and share. The more we share, the more we learn. The more we learn, the more we know. The more we know, the less likely we are to be mean, hateful, selfish, judgmental, and apt to fall for every fad, bit of gossip, mean-spirited rant, or 
“news” item from somebody’s viewer-supported “religious” icon. Bloggers share themselves with the world. Bloggers enable all of us to peek in at the windows of other bloggers, helping us learn about each other and get to know each other and learn from the mistakes and successes of others and get some good recipes for banana bread while we’re at it. Bloggers are many and more diverse than anyone could ever imagine. Bloggers tend to be less bigoted and more accepting than non-bloggers because bloggers see, daily, almost-first-hand, that we are all alike in all the important ways.
No, bloggers are not, for the most part, YOUR ONLY SOURCE for world news. Bloggers are, however, an excellent source for “I’m right here at the spot and here’s what I am seeing” news.
Twitter is awesome and I adore it. Ditto, Facebook. It’s on the blogs, though, that people will get the rest of the story that’s usually only hinted at on the shorter formats.
We old-school bloggers have long known what the newer bloggers are just now realizing: the Blogosphere is full of actual people who actually know something about something and are willing to share that knowledge with anybody who might want or need it, and that, my friends, is what friends do.
Is it possible to make real friends on the internet? Definitely. Do bloggers really meet other bloggers in real life? YES.
Another point I’d like to make: our online friends are as real as any other kind of friend.
Our grandparents’ friends were usually limited to the same community. Our parents’ friends may have extended to a few college friends but the main group was in the same area. Bloggers, on the other hand, have no geographic limitations. We can call someone in Outer Mongolia a friend, sight unseen, simply because we read each other’s blogs, talk via all kinds of wireless magical devices, share ideas, advice, laughs, tears, tragedies. . . the list is endless. Some of us now earn our living because of someone we met online, became friends with, and were then hired because of the blogging connection. Some people use their blogs mainly for making money via product pimpage; these are my least favorite blogs as they don’t give their readers any insight into the PERSON behind the blog, but they do work for people who are interested in such things.
Blogs can keep us updated as to recent work-related developments.
I like to keep personal blogging and business blogging separate, but there are times when there are crossovers. I make most of my purchases these days based on blogger recommendations.
A company’s blog tells us that this business cares enough about its customers and potential customers to keep them updated, handle customer complaints publicly, inform us of new ideas and products, and just generally let us know what’s going on and considered important in the business itself. The customer service aspect of a company blog is especially important, as a business’ handling of complaints, etc, will often determine whether or not a customer – or his/her many friends – return.
No, blogging is not dead. Even old-school blogging is not dead; it’s still alive and breathing and doing all the awesome things it’s always done. And in case you’re wondering, “old school” doesn’t mean “old blogger.” It just means a blogger who saw, long ago – which isn’t really all THAT long ago in internet terms – the awesome cool and community potential that blogging presented.
Blogging is not dead. If this is what you really think, perhaps you need a cooler group to hang out with. Or maybe you’re just a little bit too cool for your own britches.
Or, maybe it’s just YOUR blog that’s dead. Don’t judge the rest of us by your own failings.
The blog is not dead. The blog is very much alive, and very drastically affecting our lives in many, many ways.
It’s not all about purchasing power, either. That’s the least of blogging, and it’s a different kind of blogging. No, blogging is not dead.
Old school bloggers, let us rejoice that we had the brains and guts to begin and continue to blog. You all know who you are.
Some blogs might be dead, but not ours. Long live the blog!
