“The eye of the storm went deaf, and I tried to speak but found my voice had been deafened as well. But not for hearing my mother’s voice in my brain, it might also have been deafened. However, it was not, and the good fortune of it all made me glad to be alive, in spite of all the others who were not alive and therefore unglad of it, if their senses had not been likewise deafened.”

Yes, I’ve started reading the essays. I think I was better off before.

My mind’s eye went blind about a half hour ago, and it helps a little.

In fact, I think most of my senses have been both blinded and deafened. This is by far the worst batch yet. The firly brinkmire is looking better and better.

Help.

These students are genuinely nice people. I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I am also obligated to tell it as it is.

And both “it” and the “telling” are painful.

Sigh. Red pen out, aimed, FIRE.

I am a far from perfect mother. But I am not unfit.

Don’t ask. Yes, it upset me. (stupid forum)

Ahem.

I’ve been off for four days and I haven’t touched my essays. I saved them all for a Sunday night treat. Add to that, a stack of quizzes, and you’ve got my typical Sunday all-nighter. I’ve done this for years; I vow I never will again every Sunday and every Sunday I do it again. File it under “Maybe If I Ignore It, It Will Go Away.” That, and “Misc.” are my largest files.

I learned the alphabet long before I ever started to Kindergarten, and yet my filing system is atrocious. I am always in such a hurry when I put things away; almost everything is filed under Misc. Last Sunday I went through all my Writing 024 quizzes and put them in order. Not an hour later, I had to find a certain quiz FAST, and in doing so all the quizzes got messed up again. I was in a hurry when I put that certain quiz back with the others, so I just tossed it on top. Then I put it all in a file folder labeled “Misc.” because I was still in a hurry. I knew, I just KNEW, I would be able to find this one quickly because I used green marker, and all the other folders were labeled with black, red, and, oops, green. Multiply this by seven courses and you’ve got my filing system.

Take into account that my file cabinets are now residing downstairs in the laundry room instead of right by my side in a classroom, and that the dining room table upstairs is where I grade all my papers, and that is the explanation for the fact that I use the living room couch as a file cabinet.

Well, it makes sense to me. Just give me a few minutes warning before you stop by so I can clear off a spot for you to sit.

The dining room table is covered with stuff right now, so we are taking turns eating at the little round kitchen table. The dining room table is covered with old computers and parts on one end, and my school stuff on the other end.

The kitchen table is covered with apples, pears, grapes, and stacks of mail on one side, and enough space for a person to eat, on the other.

Clutter. I am buried in clutter.

I am not tidy. I am not typical. I am a firm believer in proper public behavior. My house, my rules. Your house, your rules. I know the alphabet even though I do not always use it.

But I am not an unfit mother.

(Chienne)