Let There Be Light For Your Children
Mamacita says: I love driving around and looking at other peoples’ Christmas lights at night. There is just something about lights that gives me hope for the future. And twinkly lights? They give me hope for a magical future. Colored Christmas lights? Bright white lights? Hope for a wishes-come-true future for my children, your children, all children. The other night, driving home from the college, there were more decorated homes than undecorated. By the time I got to my own home, I was full of hope. I don’t decorate the outside of my house, but you should just see the inside!
In fact, I wish you could see the inside. Come on over! I’ve got cookies.
Ahem.
It makes me wonder about the kind of people living in those dark homes. Or ‘houses,’ if they were not preparing for a holiday.
Whoops, was that a personal prejudice showing there? I b’lieve it may have been. Sorry, grim ones.
You people who do not celebrate life at certain celebratory times: do you celebrate at all? Does ANYTHING make your heart extra-glad to be alive? Is there anything that makes you rejoice, or want to make others happy, and want to share your gladness with the whole world? Are you standing on your front porch, glaring at all the happiness around you, and mocking all your neighbors as they dress their homes for the holidays (as we dress ourselves up ‘specially fine for ‘specially fine occasions) ?
I don’t mean that dazzle has to show on the outside, necessarily. Just so there is something on the inside of the house to designate wonder, and a special day.
Whether a family celebrates Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, or whatever. Just to celebrate and show gladness over something, on a regular basis.
We were too poor to do much about Christmas for many years; maybe that’s why it means so much to me now.
I know there are people out there whose personal beliefs hold no toleration for celebration. I’ve had students who never blew out birthday candles, or hung a stocking, or had any kind of day singled out for any reason whatsoever. I’ve been asked NOT to put a sticker or stamp or any kind of decoration on a child’s perfect paper that might make him feel special in any way. And while I have always tried to respect the beliefs of others, and while I have always tried not to criticize any family’s particular quirks, I can’t be quiet any longer. I have something to say to families who do not allow their children to celebrate anything:
Shame on you.
Everyday life can be so, well, everyday. Even happy familes can get in a rut of mundane-ness. Life can be so Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday-ish if we don’t bestir ourselves and do something about it.
And, children are so responsive to a little effort on our part. Just a simple thing like a birthday cake, a candle, a stocking, or twinkling lights, or cookies shaped like stars, and a child’s face will not only reflect those lights, it will surpass those lights in brightness and wonder and appreciation. We owe it to our children to make sure they realize there are worlds of wonder living side-by-side with the world of everyday life. Each world needs the other for proper contrast.
If you have dedicated your life to making sure your child will never know the awe of celebrating something, then I repeat: Shame on you.
It isn’t just Christmas. Some people celebrate absolutely nothing. My heart aches for their children.
I’ve said before that parents have the power to separate ordinary days from extraordinary days for our children, and for ourselves. Use your power, for your children’s sake and for your own. Give your children’s lives some special sparkly moments. And hurry up with it, because every day your child is one day closer to leaving you and setting up a household of his/her own. Make sure that the few years with you are good years. Give your children memories of magic and twinkling lights, of birthday wishes and valentines and sparklers, as well as the memories of everyday life. Both are vital. Both are wonderful. Key word: both.
Remember that the two best things parents can give their children are roots and wings. Roots AND wings.
Yes, I love the Christmas lights and decorations. Even houses covered with wet tinsel and droopy inflatable snowmen contain someone who made an effort. And a little child won’t see the wetness and the droopiness, just the sparkliness and the jolliness.
Do it for your kids. Make things special for your kids. Don’t tell your kids that celebrations and decorations are “stupid” and go on your merry way making sure your kids have nothing merry in their own way.
Rouse yourself a little, make wonderment for your kids. If it’s against your religion, than maybe you need to question authority a little. Because any religion that preaches against joy and wonder and celebrations, isn’t a very good religion. So there.
And SHAME on you if you don’t.
(Let’s all put a lid on the blue lights, though. Blue is NOT a Christmas color, and when you have a white tree covered with blue, it looks like it should be in a funeral parlor foyer.) (Blue is better than nothing, though. )
When your children are grown and gone and look back at their childhood, will there be anything special to remember?
If not, YOU screwed up big time.
Now, let the wild Christmas rumpus begin. . . . .
Things Nice People Already Know: Why Whine When Sharing Is So Much Nicer?
Mamacita says: I will never understand why some people feel they have to be so defensive and hostile all the time. These people whine “insensitivity” but the truth is, THEY are the ones who are insensitive.
This time of year, in particular, one reads article after article, letter after letter, about incident after incident concerning “violation of my rights as a citizen/resident of this country and I want it STOPPED RIGHT NOW or I shall SUE and WHINE SOME MORE and WRITE SOME MORE LETTERS TO THE EDITOR and COMMENT ON WEBSITES and DEMAND THAT MY RIGHTS BE HONORED.” Not anyone else’s: just theirs.
Well, in this country, we all have a right to our rights. But shouldn’t rants like this be reserved for issues that are more, well, life and death? Because if you’re raising such a stink about a wreath and a candy cane, what have you left for horrific death and tragedy?
I really don’t think anybody had you singled out for abuse when that snowman and the reindeer were put out in the yard. And if someone wishes to put out a nativity scene, well, they’ve got rights, too. Just don’t look. Why can’t we all make these diverse ways of celebration a learning time, not a time of hostility and tempers and offense? Oh, and if you want your own beliefs represented in public via a symbol, why don’t you simply ask for one? You know, BEFORE you start ranting and raving and whining and complaining, etc. Nobody is trying to suppress you; maybe people just don’t KNOW! And whatever a person’s beliefs might be, there is never any excuse or good reason for bad behavior and violent reactions.
When Sam Levinson came home from school and announced to his mother that “I’m the ‘S’ in ‘Merry Christmas!'”, his mother didn’t go bonkers and storm the school demanding that this very non-Jewish program be removed immediately for the sake of her family. She sighed, and smiled, and said “Oy.” Her family was secure enough in its beliefs to allow a little participation in other people’s beliefs as well.
Families so insecure in their beliefs that they can’t tolerate the slightest insight or gesture from someone else’s belief system are sad pathetic entities indeed. Families who are so sure that THEIRS is the ONLY proper belief system that they can’t tolerate the slightest insight or gesture from someone else’s are even sadder. All religions have that kind of people. They are not good advertising.
What’s happened to people? Why are so many people out there up in arms because the majority of this nation’s population is happy and smiling and sharing and putting up symbols of a belief system that most of that population believes in? Why can’t those who don’t, just smile and shake their heads and go home and put up their own stuff? I don’t get all huffy when it’s Eid-Ul-Adhaor or Boxing Day or Kwanzaa or Navaratri or Omisoka or Posada or Hanukkah or Solstice or Hug-A-Tree-Sprite Day or whatever it might be for someone, and I’m flattered when these people wish me well with language and vocabulary I don’t use myself. It wouldn’t bother me in the least to have to look at a symbol that doesn’t represent me. I would just be happy that someone is probably happy to be represented; I know I am! And if someone doesn’t approve of a symbol in a government building, why not just ask if they would please represent yours, too? Wouldn’t that be nicer, all around, than demanding that ALL symbols be removed because YOU don’t approve of them? People who work for the government like holidays, too. Government represents the people, doesn’t it? And you can always turn your chair so you don’t have to see people being happy because of something YOU don’t approve of. That little twinkling tree or creche on someone’s desk wasn’t put there to make you angry. It was put there to make someone happy.
Pretty much my only good memories about elementary school are about holidays. Take those away and I’ve got year after year of sitting out in the hallway tutoring the slow kids.
Why can’t we all just chill?
Because it just seems to me that if you’ve chosen to live in a country wherein the majority of the population believes in celebrating Christmas, you’re a bit of an asscrack if you make a big loud stink about your ‘rights’ and get all huffy when a little old lady smiles at you and wishes you a Merry Christmas. That’s just plain bad manners, oh sensitive one. You don’t have to participate, but what’s the harm in letting others do so? Are people storming your home and forcing you to be jolly? It’s not working.
Why are you so insensitive about the beliefs of friendly people who mean you no harm, and so ultra-sensitive and quick to find and take offense if you suspect someone has put up a twinkling star or a bell or perhaps has a candy cane in the house and might offer you a lick? Someone is wishing you happiness and peace? How dare they! How DARE someone wish you well! The NERVE!
I’ve been invited to Christmas parties all my life. Not everyone does it to my liking. That’s none of my business; I’m just happy to be with a bunch of people who wanted me there, too. I’ve been to Chinese New Year parties and regular New Year parties. I’ve been invited to Hanukkah parties, and Kwanzaa parties, and parties given by Hindus and Buddhists and Pagans and atheists and people who write “nothing” in the blank that asks for ‘religion.’
People who consider themselves ‘nothing’ make me kind of sad, but that’s their business, too.
People who pressure others to conform to a particular sect or belief system, now, that’s another subject altogether. But people who just want to express a wish for happiness to another person, using terminology he/she is familiar with? Thank them and smile back. Your face won’t break unless your belief system is based on finding offense in other people’s belief systems, in which case you’re a prick. And just seeing or hearing evidence of other people’s beliefs isn’t going to hurt anybody, either. I love learning about other people’s cultures and beliefs, and I love seeing their symbols and hearing their stories, too. This knowledge isn’t going to change or betray my own, but it might make me smarter.
Oh, and if I lived in a country amidst a population whose beliefs were alien and even offensive to mine, would I make a stink about it? No, I would not. I would pay attention and maybe learn something, and do my own thing at home. I would never presume to insist that the world revolve around me and believe only what I myself believed. How presumptuous can a person get?
Honestly? I am not offended when people use their own personal belief system to wish happiness to me. I am honored.
If a person sees me in public – or in private, for that matter – and extends a hand of friendship to me with words that are not representative of my own personal belief system, I don’t withdraw my hand in a huff and hurt them with a stream of words expressing my OWN beliefs in such a way that this person is fully aware they’ve somehow offended me by wishing me well in terms they understand but I don’t.
I’m also smart enough to understand that a creche is not only a symbol of Christmas but the reason we have it in the first place. Talk all you wish about winter solstices, etc; that’s something entirely different. We may have busted a move on your month, but the reason for the season is not the same. I’m willing to share; are you? And Hanukkah belongs to Christians as well as to Jews; at least, it belongs to the ones who’ve read up.
Please, everyone, wish me a Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Kwanzaa. If you celebrate nothing, wish me a Happy Holiday Season. Pleasant December. Good Times. People want to be friendly and wish you well. Don’t throw it back in their faces. Be nice.
Merry Christmas. Etc.
Previously posted last year about this same time. Still true.
A Charlie Brown Scrubs Christmas
Mamacita says: I love “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” I love “Scrubs.” Therefore, it’s only logical that I would love “A Charlie Brown Scrubs Christmas.” So much, in fact, that it makes my earlobes throb.
