Oh No She Dinnit: I Hate Bruester's Ice Cream Shoppe Now
Mamacita says: The owner of Bruester’s Ice Cream, formerly the greatest ice cream shoppe in the universe, discontinued Chocolate Pecan, which was the only reason I ever went there in the first place. As far as I am concerned, then, Bruester’s is now the worst ice cream shoppe in the universe. Officially.
No more Chocolate Pecan? I therefore and henceforth no longer have any reason to give Bruester’s Ice Cream any of my money. They don’t need me, and they won’t miss me, but I’ll sure miss Chocolate Pecan.
Oh, it’ll be there as an “occasional” flavor, the embarrassed little high school girl at the window told me, but I don’t stop at an ice cream shoppe according to calendar dates; I stop when the mood hits me. If Chocolate Pecan isn’t going to be there every time, I won’t stop at all. They tried to sell me on some other flavors, but those I can get anywhere, and a lot cheaper, too.
Also? I have a message for the owner of Bruester’s Ice Cream in Bloomington: I hate your ASS FACE!
Childishly yours,
–Mamacita
Thises, Thats, and T'Others.
Mamacita says: Today was the first day of class, and I hope it was an omen because it was lovely. The main campus class was small and attentive; the local campus class was large and attentive, and the day itself was just, well, nice. Not the Shakespearian “nice,” but “nice” in its modern context. Thankfully!
We talked, in fact, about how words evolve. We discussed how all words have a point of origin – a history – just as people do, and that just as some people have a somewhat more interesting history than others, so it is with words, as well.
It’s one of my favorite lessons, this evolution of word meanings. At the end of the class, few students can listen to me deliberately saying things like “He was nice, but strolling gaily down the skanky strata, he saw forthwith a trio of giglots, strumpets, and confederate companions, whereupon he felt a fragment of his old self” without a giggle or three.
Included in the discussion were hints and allegations that the varying degrees of naughtiness concerning body parts have evolved over the years, as well. The palm of the hand and the neck used to be forbidden to see or touch, and the elbow was considered an erogenous zone; however, the breasts were often entirely exposed. Perhaps it’s my innate immaturity showing, but I find this history fascinating, and also hilarious. Akin to it is, of course, the achingly ancient joke about the Catholic priest who showed the ladies’ aid a film of his missionary parish, which included a scene of tribal women walking into a mass, stark naked. The priest expected an outcry of some sort from his audience – a bevy of dowdy, sanctimonious older women (beldams, most likely)- but what he got wasn’t quite what he expected. The dowdiest and most self-righteous of the group stood up, trembling with indignation, and said, in a most condemning tone, “Father, don’t tell me you let those women walk into the sanctuary WITHOUT HATS!!!”
Note to self: The narcoleptic student is going to be a bit of a challenge. Until he brings documentation, I’m going to keep waking him up. I wish he’d keep his hands off his huge quat, though; it’s almost riggish.
It was such a good day that I forgot about my computer dying until I got home and tried to use it. Safe Mode is better than nothing, but much of what I need to do, can’t be done on Safe Mode. I earn most of my living with my computer, and I can’t be without it. I just can’t.
I’m therefore in the market for a new computer. Suggestions much appreciated. Item: I have no money, and I hate Vista. Sigh.
Also? The new Diet Coke machine in the lobby of the college is the coolest thing I’ve seen in ages. This gives you more insight into my life than you no doubt wished to have, but seriously, this machine is straight out of Rube Goldberg. <—instant fogie alarm vocabulary word
So, there you have my day: skanks, niceties, narcolepsy, hints and allegations, erogenous zones, nudity, gaity, condemnation, beldams, poverty, intricacy, giglots, strumpets, confederates, quats, and fogie alarms.
And how was your day? I do hope it wasn’t too nice, bardily speaking.
Quotation Saturday
Mamacita says:
1. We are all born charming, fresh, and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society. –Judith Martin
2. Do not despise your situation; in it you must act, suffer, and conquest. From every point on earth we are equally near to heaven and to the infinite. –Frederic Amiel
3. Sanity is a madness put to good uses; waking life is a dream controlled. –Santayana
4. We sin grievously against ourselves when we get somebody to do something for us which we could do. –Henry S. Haskins
5. Success often comes to those who dare and act; it seldom goes to the timid who are ever afraid of the consequences. –Nehru
6. You begin saving the world by saving one man at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics. –Charles Bukowski
7. There is no greater sorrow than to recall a happy time in the midst of wretchedness. –Dante
8. God is still continuously at work, as on the first day. Surely it wouldn’t have been much fun for Him to build this lumbering world out of simple elements and let it roll about in the sunshine year in and year out, if He hadn’t the plan to build upon this material basis a training ground for higher spirits. And so He is continually at work in great geniuses, so as to pull the common people UP. –Goethe
9. It’s not the size of the ship; it’s the size of the waves. –Little Richard
10. Burning stakes do not lighten the darkness. –Stanislaw J. Lec
11. The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. –George C. Scott
12. Serious sport has nothing to do with “fair play.” It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, politics, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence; in other words, it is war minus the shooting. –George Orwell
13. How haughtily he cocks his nose to tell what every schoolboy knows. –Jonathan Swift
14. Science fiction is a kind of archaeology of the future. –Clifton Fadiman
15. There is only one real sin and that is to persuade oneself that the second best is anything but second best. –Doris Lessig
16. Success is not a doorway; it’s a stairway. –Dottie Walters
17. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler. –Einstein
18. When a man wantonly destroys one of the works of man we call him a vandal. When he wantonly destroys one of the works of God we call him a sportsman. –Joseph Wood Krutch
19. Copying everyone else all the time, the monkey one day cut his throat. –Zulu proverb
20. A smile is the whisper of a laugh. –Anon.
21. Sensible men show their sense by saying much in few words. If noble actions are the substance of life, good sayings are its ornament and guide. –Charles Simmons
22. The strong do what they have to do, and the weak accept what they have to accept. –Thucydides
23. Many a boomerang does not return, but chooses freedom instead. –Stanislaw J. Lec
24. Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction. –Einstein
25. Maxims are the condensed good sense of nations. –Sir James MacIntosh
26. Of all the diversions of life, there is none so proper as to fill up the empty spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining authors. –Joseph Addison
27. And the Devil did grin, for his darling sin, is pride that apes humility. –Coleridge
28. They that worship God merely from fear, would worship the devil, too, if he appeared. –Thomas Fuller
29. Good timber does not grow with ease. The stronger the wind the stronger the trees. –Williard Marrott
30. Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds. –Einstein
31. The people who burned witches at the stake never for one moment thought of their act as violence; rather they thought of it as an act of divinely mandated righteousness. the same can be said of most of the violence we humans have ever committed. –Gil Bailie
32. And so our mothers and grandmothers have, more often than not anonymously, handed on the creative spark, the seed of the flower they themselves never hoped to see – or like a sealed letter they could not plainly read. –Alice Walker
33. A child who is protected from all controversial ideas is as vulnerable as a child who is protected from every germ. The infection, when it comes – and it will come – maybe overwhelm the system, be it the immune system or the belief system. –Jane Smiley
34. A pastor I work with claims the definition of praise music is “four words, three notes, two hours.” — Unknown
35. Water which is too pure has no fish. –Ts’ai Ken T’an
36. We would frequently be ashamed of our good deeds if people saw all of the motives that produced them. –La Rochefoucauld
37. What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy. –Voltaire
38. When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come close to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. –Einstein
39. If you want to use colorful words and phrases, avoid embarrassment by getting them right. –Anon.
40. Seatbelts are not as confining as wheelchairs. –Unknown
41. Men build too many walls and not enough bridges. -Isaac Newton
42. Today the world changes so quickly that in growing up we take leave not just of youth but of the world we were young in. –Peter B. Medawar
43. You know it’s love when all you want is for that person to be happy, even if you’re not part of their happiness. –Julia Roberts
44. It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship, that makes unhappy marriages. –Nietzsche
45. God loves us the way we are, but too much to leave us that way. –Leighton Ford
46. A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. –Brendan Francis
47. Remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall – think of it. ALWAYS. –Gandhi
48. My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one’s country, not to its institutions or its officeholders. –Mark Twain
49. You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you. — John Wooden
50. Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear. -Harry S. Truman
I would greatly like to know why my font keep changing; it gets larger and then smaller and then larger again, with every few lines I type, but right now I’m going to the kitchen for a sandwich, and one must keep one’s priorities in line. First things first, etc.
