Unexpected

griefMamacita says: When we lose an elderly person to death, expected or unexpected, we are sad, but there is the comfort of knowing that person lived a long life, and we hope he/she had a happy, useful, satisfactory life.  When we lose a young person to unexpected, senseless death, we are as much angry as devastated.  How dare a drunk get behind the wheel and destroy such brightness, such potential, such love and caring. . . .  Does the drunk care about what he did?  Do drunk drivers feel remorse?  I can’t see any difference between a drunk behind the wheel and a thug waving a gun at a birthday party; both are potential murderers and neither are functioning with full brain power.  There are no excuses.  Drunk drivers who kill other people are murderers.  My compassion ceases to be when a deliberately drug-impaired person takes the wheel.  No amount of apologizing or tears will ever make up for what a purposely drug-impaired person did to an innocent person and her family and friends.  Ever.  I’m sad.  And I’m angry, really angry.  But mostly I’m just sad.  But angry.  And sad.

1.  Death leaves a heartache no one can heal; love leaves a memory no one can steal.  –Irish headstone

2.  In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.  -Robert Ingersoll

3.  When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  –Kahlil Gibran

4.  A human life is a story told by God.  –Hans Christian Anderson

5.  To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.  –Thomas Campbell

6.  We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. –Kenji Miyazawa

7.  While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil.  –John Taylor

8.  He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man.  –Antoine de Saint-Exupery

9.  Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.  –Rossiter Worthington Raymond

10.  It is the will of God and Nature that these mortal bodies be laid aside, when the soul is to enter into real life; ’tis rather an embryo state, a preparation for living; a man is not completely born until he be dead: Why then should we grieve that a new child is born among the immortals?  –Benjamin Franklin

11.  Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.  –Author Unknown

12.  For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.  –William Penn

13.  . . . grief makes one hour ten.  –Shakespeare

14.  I never wanted to go away, and the hard part now is the leaving you all. I’m not afraid, but it seems as if I should be homesick for you even in heaven.  –Louisa May Alcott

15.  Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.  –Shakespeare

16.  Sorrow makes us all children again – destroys all differences of intellect.  The wisest know nothing.  –Ralph Waldo Emerson

17.  Every evening I turn my worries over to God.  He’s going to be up all night anyway.  –Mary C. Crowley

18.  Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no mattter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love.  It can’t take away our memories either.  In the end, life is stronger than death.  –Unknown

19.  Death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.  –Norman Cousins

20. Have the courage to live.  Anyone can die.  –Robert Cody

21.  Even death is not unkind when living love is left behind.  –Unknown

22.  Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying.  Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day.  Do it!  I say, Whatever you want to do, do it now!  There are only so many tomorrows.  –Pope Paul VI

23.  The good die young – because they see it’s no use living if you’ve got to be good.  –John Barrymore

24.  Death is not the greatest of evils; it is worse to want to die, and not be able to.  –Sophocles

25.  I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge – myth is more potent than history – dreams are more powerful than facts – hope always triumphs over experience – laughter is the cure for grief – love is stronger than death.  –Robert Fulghum

25.  Death ends a life, not a relationship.  –Robert Benchley

26.  It is a blessing to die for a cause, because you can so easily die for nothing.  –Andrew Young

27.  More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason.  That, my friends, that is true perversion.  –Harvey Milk

28.  Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry.  Try to be alive.  You will be dead soon enough.  –William Saroyan

29.  While I thought I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.  –Leonardo Da Vinci

30.  I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending, that haunts our sleep so much as the fear. . . that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived.  –Harold Kushner

31.  The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.  –Joan Borysenko

32.  Since every death diminishes us a little, we grieve – not so much for the death as for ourselves.  –Lynn Caine

33.  No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.  –C.S. Lewis

34.  I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me, but I find I am grateful for having loved them.  The gratitude has finally conquered the loss.  –Rita Mae Brown

35.  Grief can’t be shared.  Everyone carries it alone, his own burden, in his own way.  –Anne Morrow Lindbergh

36.  The caterpillar dies so the butterfly could be born.  And, yet, the caterpillar lives in the butterfly and they are but one.  So, when I die, it will be that I have been transformed from the caterpillar of earth to the butterfly of the universe.  –John Harricharan

37.  It is possible to provide security against other ills, but as far as death is concerned, we men live in a city without walls.  –Epicurus

38.  What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.  –Jewish proverb

39.  I shall die, but that is all I shall do for Death; I am not on his payroll. –Edna St. Vincent Millay

40.  We miss and need and pine for our dead, but we also are angry at them for having abandoned us.  –Judith Viorst

41.  You don’t really get over it; you get used to it.  –Robert S. Weiss

42.  Memory is more indelible than ink.  –Anita Loos

43.  Preserve your memories.  They’re all that’s left you.  –Paul Simon

44.  How often – will it be for always? – how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, “I never realized my loss until this moment.” –C.S. Lewis

45.  Sometimes when someone has died we say, “I feel like they’re still here.”  That’s because they are.  –Marianne Williamson

46.  It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.  –Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

47.  To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.  –Bertrand Russell

48.  If a man hasn’t discovered something that he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.  –Martin Luther King Jr.

49.  All say, How hard it is that we have to die – a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.  –Mark Twain

50.  Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying.  –Martin Luther

51.  Dying is a wild night and a new road.  –Emily Dickinson

52.  Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.  –Henry David Thoreau

53.  The final hour when we cease to exist does not itself bring death; it merely of itself completes the death-process.  We reach death at that moment, but we have been a long time on the way.  –Lucius Annaeus Seneca

54.  I want to be all used up when I die.  –George Bernard Shaw

55. There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.  The dark background which death supplies brings out the tender colors of life in all their purity.  –George Santayana

56.  Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.  –Italian proverb

57.  Good God! How often are we to die before we go quite off this stage?  In every friend we lose a part of ourself, and the best part.  –Alexander Pope

58.  It hath often been said that it is not death but dying that is terrible.  –Henry Fielding

59.  Die when I may, I want it said of me by those who knew me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.  –Abraham Lincoln

60.  How frighteningly few are the persons whose death would spoil our appetite and make the world seem empty.  –Eric Hoffer

61.  A few can touch the magic string, and noisy fame is proud to win them: Alas for those that never sing, but die with all their music in them!  –Oliver Wendell Holmes

62.  Perhaps the whole root of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems, taboos, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races, armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death, which is the only fact we have.  –James Baldwin

63.  Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk.  It is walking toward me, without hurrying.  –Jean Cocteau

64.  Every man goes down to his death bearing in his hands only that which he has given away.  –Persian proverb

65.  I am ready to meet my Maker, but whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.  –Winston Churchill

66.  Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

‘Funeral Blues’ by W.H. Auden


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