Mamacita says: Whenever I wear sneakers, my feet feel really bulky and heavy. I feel as though I’ve got two barges on the ends of my legs, or maybe those gigantic slippers that look so much like real furry animals, they scare people when they open the closet door and see them on the closet floor. Or worse, those huge animal slippers that look for all the world as if you’ve stuck your foot up their butt or through their stomach and impaled them.
Back in the middle school, the 6th grade girls used to have backpacks that looked like dead animals with their front paws wrapped around the students’ necks. Watching them walking up and down the halls, animal backpacks clinging desperately to their backs, looked a lot like one of those weird science fiction stories wherein the human race was enslaved by equine aliens, and made to serve as packhorses.
I always loved to walk around the track when the weather was nice; I usually managed about five miles each time, so I’m not exactly anybody’s idea of athletic. Now, though, we’ve joined a gym. Tonight was the first time. My too-frequently-used excuse of “I can’t do it tonight; it’s too cold/rainy/crowded/dark/whatever” is no longer valid. The gym is open 24/7/365.
I love it.
With a little luck, maybe I’ll get a few more pounds off my very poundful self. Or at least firm that jello up a little.
Jello that isn’t firm is just, well, Kool-aid.
Jiggly-ball was funny on Scrubs, but in real life, it’s just butt-ugly. Those sneakers still feel really, really huge and heavy. And a gym that’s still open at 3 a.m. is an omen: it was time.