I had a fabulous and hilarious conversation last night with someone who is fast becoming one of my bestest* friends. Yes, it is really possible to meet someone over the internet and then meet them for real, and find out they’re not a psychotic ax murderer who stalks people for murderous purposes. (All the internet friends I’ve met in real life have been even more wonderful in person than they are on their blogs, and on their blogs they’re fantastic!) (Oh golly, I can’t WAIT for next July’s BlogHer!!!!) In the course of the conversation, he mentioned that our local theatre is planning to do “Les Miserables” soon, and that the director mentioned that he had a part in mind for my friend, but he didn’t know which part yet, only that it wasn’t a leading role. I told him that if I were a man, and didn’t want any of the main leads, I’d want to be the innkeeper, and that the innkeeper traditionally has a Cockney accent.

My friend didn’t know what a Cockney accent was.

So I told him.

Yes, last night, I told a gay man what a Cockney was.

And I’ve been giggling all day.

Scotty, dear, here is this post, translated into Cockney, just for you.

I ‘ad a fabulous and ‘ilarious conversation last night wiv some bloke ‘oo is fast becomin’ one of me truly Mae West chinas. Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you? Yes, it is right possible ter meet some bloke over the internet and meet them and find out they’re not a psychotic ax murderer ‘oo stalks blokes for murderous purposes. Cor blimey guv! In the chuffin’ course of the conversation, right, he mentioned that us local theatre is plannin’ ter do “Les Miserables” soon, and ‘e were ‘opin’ for a part. I discovered that ‘e knew nuffink about “Les Miserables,” and I were genuinely ‘orrified. I told ‘im that if I were a man, and didn’t want any of the bleedin’ main leads, I’d want ter be the chuffin’ innkeeper, but the bloomin’ innkeeper traditionally ‘as a Cockney accent. Me china didn’t know wot a Cockney accent were. So I told ‘im.

Yes, last night, right, I told a gay man wot a Cockney were.

And I’ve been gigglin’ all day.

*Superlative redundancy was deliberate. It’s the weekend, but some standards do remain.