Dear Daughter,

Fine.

Bring your own cola.

Bring your own water.

Nobody would ever have known if you hadn’t tattled.

Snitcher.

I know I taught you to ALWAYS tell Mommy everything. I didn’t know it would backfire on me like this, with you telling everything to EVERYBODY.

Now I don’t feel so bad about putting the cheap crackers in the empty-for-a-zillion-years Ritz box.

Sucker.

Love,

Mommy

P.S. Please don’t tell Dad. I’ve still got him fooled.