Every year I make big personal sacrifices for the sake of the orphans.

The trick-or-treating is over for another year. Now, if only there was something I could do with all this leftover candy. . . . . Hmm, think, think, think. . . .

Something charitable. Something practical. Something that would benefit mankind.

However, nothing of that sort comes to mind, so I guess I’ll just eat it myself, like I do every year anyway.

Well, it would be awful to let it go to waste!

Therefore, I’ll let it go to waist.

All that candy wouldn’t be good for the orphans anyway. It would rot their little baby teeth, and send them reeling with hyperactive sugar-highs that would frighten baby animals and piss off the nuns.

Sigh. So I will make my usual Octoberly sacrifice and save them from the dental potholes of refined-sugar-hell, and protect them from the wrath of pursuing nuns and the mothers of little terrified squirrels.

I feel so heroic.


Comments

Every year I make big personal sacrifices for the sake of the orphans. — 12 Comments

  1. ‘Cause everyone knows orphans can’t stand Pixie Stix. Or gummie worms. So send them over; maybe we can work out a trade, you think?

  2. ‘Cause everyone knows orphans can’t stand Pixie Stix. Or gummie worms. So send them over; maybe we can work out a trade, you think?

  3. That truly is commendable of you, but I can’t help feeling a little guilty and scared of the angry nuns. So, I’m happy to help you waist the candy 🙂

    Do you have any gummie bears?

  4. That truly is commendable of you, but I can’t help feeling a little guilty and scared of the angry nuns. So, I’m happy to help you waist the candy 🙂

    Do you have any gummie bears?

  5. 🙂

    Even I hate seeing things go to waste … and they land up going to the waist!

    Thanks for dropping by and the comment.

  6. 🙂

    Even I hate seeing things go to waste … and they land up going to the waist!

    Thanks for dropping by and the comment.

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