Here’s your task:  Read the first and last lines of each tale and see if you know the title.  You might surprise yourself in more ways than one!  (The first line will be first and the last line will be, duh, last.)  Well, you know, some people require explicit instructions.  Sigh.

1. There was once a young fellow who enlisted as a soldier, conducted himself bravely, and was always the foremost when it rained bullets.

In the evening, some one knocked at the door, and when the bridegroom opened it, it was the Devil in his green coat, who said, “Seest thou, I have now got two souls in the place of thy one!”

2. A soldier came marching along the high road: “Left, right—left, right.”

The wedding festivities lasted a whole week, and the dogs sat at the table, and stared with all their eyes.

3. One summer’s morning a little tailor was sitting on his table by the window; he was in good spirits, and sewed with all his might.

So the little tailor was a king and remained one, to the end of his life.

4. There was was once a woman who wished very much to have a little child, but she could not obtain her wish.

The swallow sang, “Tweet, tweet,” and from his song came the whole story.

5. A certain man had a donkey, which had carried the corn-sacks to the mill indefatigably for many a long year; but his strength was going, and he was growing more and more unfit for work.

And the mouth of him who last told this story is still warm.

6. Once upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a princess; but she would have to be a real princess.

There, that is a true story.

7. The wife of a rich man fell sick, and as she felt that her end was drawing near, she called her only daughter to her bedside and said, “Dear child, be good and pious, and then the good God will always protect thee, and I will look down on thee from heaven and be near thee.”

And thus, for their wickedness and falsehood, they were punished with blindness as long as they lived.

8. Far out in the ocean, where the water is as blue as the prettiest cornflower, and as clear as crystal, it is very, very deep; so deep, indeed, that no cable could fathom it: many church steeples, piled one upon another, would not reach from the ground beneath to the surface of the water above.

But when we see a naughty or a wicked child, we shed tears of sorrow, and for every tear a day is added to our time of trial!

9. There was once on a time a Fisherman who lived with his wife in a miserable hovel close by the sea, and every day he went out fishing.

And there they are living still at this very time.

10. Many, many years ago lived an emperor, who thought so much of new clothes that he spent all his money in order to obtain them; his only ambition was to be always well dressed.

And the chamberlains walked with still greater dignity, as if they carried the train which did not exist.

11. There were once five-and-twenty tin soldiers, who were all brothers, for they had been made out of the same old tin spoon.

But of the little dancer nothing remained but the tinsel rose, which was burnt black as a cinder.

12. There was a man who had three sons, the youngest of whom was called Dummling, and was despised, mocked, and put down on every occasion.

After the King’s death, Dummling inherited the kingdom and lived a long time contentedly with his wife.

13. It was lovely summer weather in the country, and the golden corn, the green oats, and the haystacks piled up in the meadows looked beautiful.

Then he rustled his feathers, curved his slender neck, and cried joyfully, from the depths of his heart, “I never dreamed of such happiness as this, while I was an _____ ________.” (dead giveaway, sorry)

14. There was a certain merchant who had two children, a boy and a girl; they were both young, and could not walk.

On this they tried to seize him and pressed upon him, but he drew his sword and said, “All heads off but mine,” and all the heads rolled on the ground, and he alone was master, and once more King of the Golden Mountain.

15. Far down in the forest, where the warm sun and the fresh air made a sweet resting-place, grew a pretty little fir-tree; and yet it was not happy, it wished so much to be tall like its companions— the pines and firs which grew around it.

Now all was past; the tree’s life was past, and the story also,—for all stories must come to an end at last.

16. A long time ago there were a King and Queen who said every day, “Ah, if only we had a child!” but they never had one.

And then the marriage of the King’s son with Briar-rose was celebrated with all splendour, and they lived contented to the end of their days.

17. You must attend to the commencement of this story, for when we get to the end we shall know more than we do now about a very wicked hobgoblin; he was one of the very worst, for he was a real demon.

And they both sat there, grown up, yet children at heart; and it was summer,—warm, beautiful summer.

18. Once upon a time in the middle of winter, when the flakes of snow were falling like feathers from the sky, a queen sat at a window sewing, and the frame of the window was made of black ebony.

Then she was forced to put on the red-hot shoes, and dance until she dropped down dead.

19. It was terribly cold and nearly dark on the last evening of the old year, and the snow was falling fast.

No one imagined what beautiful things she had seen, nor into what glory she had entered with her grandmother, on New-year’s day.

20. There was once a widow who had two daughters — one of whom was pretty and industrious, whilst the other was ugly and idle.

But the pitch stuck fast to her, and could not be got off as long as she lived.

21. There was once a merchant that had three daughters, and he loved them better than himself.

And that’s why, to this day, the castle is known as the Castle of the Rose.

22. There were once a man and a woman who had long, in vain, wished for a child.

Two of her tears wetted his eyes and they grew clear again, and he could see with them as before, and he led her to his kingdom where he was joyfully received, and they lived for a long time afterwards, happy and contented.

23. There was a king who had twelve beautiful daughters.

So the king asked the soldier which of the princesses he would choose for his wife; and he answered, ‘I am not very young, so I will have the eldest.’ — and they were married that very day, and the soldier was chosen to be the king’s heir.

24. There was once upon a time a poor miller who had a very beautiful daughter.

“Some demon has told you that! Some demon has told you that!” screamed the little man, and in his rage drove his right foot so far into the ground that it sank in up to his waist; then in a passion he seized the left foot with both hands and tore himself in two.

25. One fine evening a young princess put on her bonnet and clogs, and went out to take a walk by herself in a wood; and when she came to a cool spring of water with a rose in the middle of it, she sat herself down to rest a while.

They then took leave of the king, and got into the coach with eight horses, and all set out, full of joy and merriment, for the prince’s kingdom, which they reached safely; and there they lived happily a great many years.

26. There was once a poor widow who lived in a lonely cottage. In front of the cottage was a garden wherein stood two rose-trees, one of which bore white and the other red roses.

She took the two rose-trees with her, and they stood before her window, and every year bore the most beautiful roses, white and red.

27. In China, you know, the emperor is a Chinese, and all those about him are Chinamen also.

The servants now came in to look after the dead emperor; when, lo! there he stood, and, to their astonishment, said, “Good morning.”

28. Every afternoon, as they were coming from school, the children used to go and play in the Giant’s garden.

And when the children ran in that afternoon, they found the Giant lying dead under the tree, all covered with white blossoms.

29. Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a little country girl, the prettiest creature who was ever seen.

And unfortunately, it is these gentle wolves who are the most dangerous ones of all.

30. Once upon a time there was a poor peasant who had so many children that he did not have enough of either food or clothing to give them.

As for the prince and princess, they set free all the poor Christians who had been captured and shut up there; and they took with them all the silver and gold, and flew away as far as they could from the castle that lay east of the sun and west of the moon.

I’ll post the answers in a few days, if you ask me nicely.

Highly recommended:  go to the library this summer and check out a big thick book of UNABRIDGED fairy tales;  the politically incorrect blood, gore, daughter-selling, youngest-son-mocking, parent-fooling, and poop-in-the-suit will entertain you for days.  Don’t waste your time on abridgments; they’re watered down and a major disappointment, and that’s true for ALL abridgments. I loathe and despise the abridged version of anything.

Real fairy tales, though, are bloody awesome, and I do mean bloody.  Of course, a lot of the action is perfectly understandable; I mean, who among us HASN’T, on occasion, accidentally cooked and eaten one of our children?

Come on, take the quiz.  Who knows the real stories and who thinks Disney’s are the real stories?   I’m always more than just a little bit horrified surprised at the people who really thought Disney’s versions were the real ones.

Blood bath!  Cannibals!  Dismemberment!  Poop in your suit!  Never bathe!  Sell your babies!  Hell, DEVOUR your babies!

I do love me some unabridged fairy tales.

“Good, by my troth, daughter broth!”

Fortunately, as John Donne liked to remind us, no man is an island.  This is the key to all education, no matter what our age.  No man is an island, and that means CONNECTIONS.

Education is about learning to make connections.  Understand that one point and you’ll know how to keep on learning until they carry you out feet first.  The sooner we learn it, the better off we are.

We are human, and humans mess up.  That doesn’t mean – it NEVER means – that we should give up when we mess up.  No, no, no, no, no.  No matter how many times we mess up, we must try to pull ourselves up and try again.  And if it’s just too hard to pull ourselves up, we need to give our families and friends the privilege of helping us do it.

Never give up, and never surrender.  No matter what “it” is, never give up.  We can do it.  Life likes to hit us below the belt sometimes, but we don’t have to let it get by with that.  Never give up.  Never surrender.  And it doesn’t matter how many times we’re down, either.  Each time, get back up and vow again to never surrender.  Eventually the lesson will sink in.  And if it doesn’t  happen soon, or when we think it should, well, keep on trying anyway.

We are all surrounded by people who love us, in real life or online – and what does that say for social media that some of our best friends are online friends – and together we will always be stronger than anything that doesn’t love us.  We might have to wait for it.  It might be late.  We might worry that it’s not coming at all.  But be patient, for love really does conquer all.  It does.  Never give up.  Never surrender.

1. Superman’s not brave. You can’t be brave if you’re indestructible. It’s every day people, like you and me, that are brave knowing we could easily be defeated but still continue forward. — Unknown

2. No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No stream or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara ever turned light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined. –Harry Emerson Fosdick

3. People are hungry for messages of hope and life. What are you broadcasting? — Morgan Brittany

4. Whoever you are, there is some younger person who thinks you are perfect. There is some work that will never be done if you don’t do it. there is someone who would miss you if you were gone. There is a place that you alone can fill. –Jacob M. Braude

5. Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. –Thomas Edison

6. Shame is guilt in overdrive. If it helps, think of the difference between shame and guilt as this: shame says “I’m bad, I’m flawed,” and guilt says “What I did was harmful to myself and/or others, and I can do better than that.” Thoughts of healthy, unbiased guilt are how you converse with your conscience, while feelings of shame don’t even let the conversation begin. — Renee Bledsoe

7. Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. — Dale Carnegie

8. Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you’re going to do now – and do it. — William Durant

9. If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves. –Thomas Edison

10. You don’t have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you. — Dan Millman

11. Ninety percent of the world’s woe comes from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailities, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves. — Sydney J. Harris

12. If you are aware of your weaknesses and you are constantly learning, your potential is virtually limitless. — Jay Sidhu

13. You can come out of the furnace of trouble two ways: if you let it consume you, you come out a cinder, but there is a kind of metal which refuses to be consumed, and comes out a star. — Jean Church

14. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time. — Og Mandino

15. Facing it, always facing it; that’s the way to get through. Face it. — Joseph Conrad

16. Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. — Carl Bard

17. Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths. — Drew Barrymore

18. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. — Ambrose Redmoon

19. Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life, as by the obstacles one has overcome trying to succeed. — Booker T. Washington

20. You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. — Margaret Thatcher

21. Determination, patience and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation. — Peter Sinclair

22. Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing. — Abraham Lincoln

23. Fall seven times, stand up eight. — Japanese proverb

24. Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new. — Brian Tracy

25. It’s never too late to be what you might have been. — George Eliot

26. We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. — Martin Luther King Jr.

27. Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think, there are no little things. — Bruce Barton

28. Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was. — Richard L. Evans

29. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town. — George Carlin

30. How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment, we can start now, start slowly changing the world! How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make their contribution toward introducing justice straightaway. And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness! — Anne Frank

31. Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. — Helen Keller

32. Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings. — Elie Weisel

33. To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. — Anatole France

34. When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top. — Unknown

35. He who has hope has everything. — Arabian proverb

36. Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. — Bill Cosby

37. History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again. — Maya Angelou

38. When you’re going through hell, keep going. — Winston Churchill

39. Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. — Jacques Prevert

40. Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle, and a victory. — Ghandi

41. Real heroes are men who fall and fail and are flawed, but win out in the end because they’ve stayed true to their ideals and beliefs and commitments. — Kevin Costner

42. It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

43. What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? — George Elliot

44. A life isn’t significant except for its impact on other lives. — Jackie Robinson

45. The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. -–John E. Southard

46. In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.–-Albert Schweitzer

47. No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.–-Elie Wiesel

48. Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. — Calvin Coolidge

49. When life knocks you down you have two choices- stay down or get up. — Tom Krause

50. Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain. — Unknown

* Bonus points if you know the source.  Kudos, too, because it’s a cool source.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I hate it when the grass gets high.  I feel as if I’m drowning.  There are places in the low parts of the lawn that are mashed down sideways flat, where the ponds and creeks have overflowed.  We usually see a big snapper or two in weather like this, but so far even the animals have had sense enough not to try to come out in the rain.  Even the deer are huddling under the trees.

1. A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in. — Frederick The Great

2. A poet is someone who stands outside in the rain hoping to be struck by lightning. — James Dickey

3. I do pity unlearned people on a rainy day. — Lucius C. Falkland

4. I love to walk in the rain, because nobody can see my tears. –Charlie Chaplin

5. It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. — Dave Barry

6. We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket. — George Carlin

7. Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots. — Frank A Clark

8. There’s always a period of curious fear between the first sweet-smelling breeze and the time when the rain comes cracking down. — Don Delillo

9. Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching. — Fran Lebowitz

10. Don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.– Satchel Paige

11. Some people walk in the rain; others just get wet. — Roger Miller

12. Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather. — John Ruskin

13. The drop of rain maketh a hole in the stone, not by violence, but by oft falling. — Hugh Latimer

14. The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain. — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

15. I’m singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin’
I’m happy again
I’m laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun’s in my heart
And I’m ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I’ve a smile on my face
I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin’,
Singin’ in the rain

“>One of the best movies of all time.

Once upon a time, we were just sisters and wives and daughters when we got together, sharing a mom and having first names.  Now, we’re all Mom, Mommy, Grandma, Mamaw, Aunt, Great-aunt, mother-in-law . . . . I can remember days when I couldn’t remember the last time someone called me by my actual name.

I also remember, clear as a bell, the first time my child said my new name.  Mama.  That moment is etched on my heart, in beautiful calligraphy, and decorated with fresh flowers.  I still love to hear my children say “Mom.”  These women whose children refer to them by their first names, instead of some variation of mother?  I pity both woman and child.  Somethin’ WRONG wit dat.  Somebody gots her priorities all messed up.

Contrary to popular belief, mothers are not omnicient, we don’t have eyes in the backs of our heads, and we can’t read your mind.  The only exception to that would be MY mother.

And speaking of my mother. . . Mom, I have tried to emulate you in many ways, all of my life.  You read to us.  You sat down on the floor and played with us.  You used the power of Parenthood and created Special Days, all throughout the year.  Christmas is a holiday, sure, but it was YOU who created OUR Christmas.  I have tried to “do” holidays just as you did, all my married life.

I’m looking forward to Sunday, dear sisters and nieces and daughters and all of the other wonderful descriptions that come with all of you.  I might be the weirdo of the bunch – oh, it’s not like I don’t KNOW that!!!! -but I might also be the most sentimental of the bunch.

1.The phrase “working mother” is redundant. ~Jane Sellman

2. The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

3. I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln

4. A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

5. The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honoré de Balzac

6. He is a poor son whose sonship does not make him desire to serve all men’s mothers. ~Harry Emerson Fosdick

7. An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. ~Spanish Proverb

8. My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon

9. Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~Lisa Alther

10. Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that suppose to mean? In my heart it don’t mean a thing. ~Toni Morrison, Beloved

11. The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother’s Day are the good ones. ~Mignon McLaughlin

12. A mom forgives us all our faults, not to mention one or two we don’t even have. ~Robert Brault

13. One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters. ~George Herbert

14. Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray

15. Every beetle is a gazelle in the eyes of its mother. ~Moorish Proverb

16. All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother. ~Abraham Lincoln

17. No one in the world can take the place of your mother. Right or wrong, from her viewpoint you are always right. She may scold you for little things, but never for the big ones. ~Harry Truman

18. God could not be everywhere, so He created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb

19. Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. ~Oprah Winfrey

20. I regard no man as poor who has a godly mother. ~ Abraham Lincoln

21. The mother loves her child most divinely not when she surrounds him with comforts and anticipates his wants, but when she resolutely holds him to the highest standards and is content with nothing less than his best. ~ Hamilton Wright Mabie

22. The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. ~ William Ross Wallace

23. There never was a woman like her. She was gentle as a dove and brave as a lioness… The memory of my mother and her teachings were, after all, the only capital I had to start life with, and on that capital I have made my way. ~ Andrew Jackson

24. Who is getting more pleasure from this rocking, the baby or me? ~ Nancy Thayer

25. No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. ~ Florida Scott-Maxwell

26. Sometimes when I look at all my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have stayed a virgin.’” ~ Lillian Carter

27. And so our mothers and grandmothers have, more often than not anonymously, handed on the creative spark, the seed of the flower they themselves never hoped to see — or like a sealed letter they could not plainly read. ~ Alice Walker

28. Women do not have to sacrifice personhood if they are mothers. They do not have to sacrifice motherhood in order to be persons. Liberation was meant to expand women’s opportunities, not to limit them. The self-esteem that has been found in new pursuits can also be found in mothering. ~ Elaine Heffner

29. If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much. ~ Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

30. I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best I could bring to it. ~ Rose Kennedy

31. A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. ~ Dorothy Canfield Fisher

32. She was the archetypal selfless mother: living only for her children, sheltering them from the consequences of their actions — and in the end doing them irreparable harm. ~ Marcia Muller

33. Spend at least one Mother’s Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him. ~ Erma Bombeck

34. No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there’s a wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick. ~ Erma Bombeck

35. Becoming a mother makes you the mother of all children. From now on each wounded, abandoned, frightened child is yours. You live in the suffering mothers of every race and creed and weep with them. You long to comfort all who are desolate. ~ Charlotte Gray

36. Giving kids clothes and food is one of thing, but it’s much more important to teach them that other people besides themselves are important and that the best thing they can do with their lives is to use them in the service of other people. ~ Dolores Huerta

37. Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. ~ Nancy Friday

38. I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up. ~ Pearl S. Buck

39. The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. ~ Father Theodore Hesburgh

40. When, however, one reads of a witch being ducked, of a woman possessed by devils, of a wise woman selling herbs, or even a very remarkable man who had a mother, then I think we are on the track of a lost novelist, a suppressed poet. . . indeed, I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. ~ Virginia Woolf

41. A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path. ~ Agatha Christie

42. You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~ Albert Einstein

43. If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with mothers. ~ Edgar Watson Howe

44. What the mother sings to the cradle goes all the way down to the coffin. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

45. My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. ~ Mark Twain

46. Over the years I have learned that motherhood is much like an austere religious order, the joining of which obligates one to relinquish all claims to personal possessions. ~ Nancy Stahl

47. There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

48. At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you’ve left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent. ~ Golda Meir

49. A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take. ~ Cardinal Mermilod

50. A mother’s yearning feels the presence of the cherished child even in the degraded man. ~ George Eliot

51. There are lots of things that you can brush under the carpet about yourself until you’re faced with somebody whose needs won’t be put off. ~ Angela Carter

52. Isidor Isaac Rabi’s mother used to ask him, upon his return from school each day, “Did you ask any good questions today, Isaac?” ~ Steve Chandler

53. Sometimes the poorest woman leaves her children the richest inheritance. ~ Ruth E. Renkel

54. Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. ~ Marion C. Garretty

55. A mother is never cocky or proud, because she knows the school principal may call at any minute to report that her child has just driven a motorcycle through the gymnasium. ~ Mary Kay Blakeley

56. It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~ Phyllis Diller

57. Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it. ~ Haim Ginott

58. If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. ~ Abigail Van Buren

59. Making a decision to have a child–it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone

60. If you want your child to be brilliant, tell them fairy tales. If you want your child to be very brilliant, tell them even more fairy tales. ~ Albert Einstein

P.S.  What’s that she’s saying?  She needs to FIND HERSELF?  “Find herself” my Aunt Fanny.  Grow a pair, and be a parent to your child.  He’ll have pals his own age.  YOU can “find yourself” after your job is done.

P.P.S.  Does anybody else love it when, out in public, a child says “Mama?” and forty women instinctively turn their heads?

So, here they are: the short quotations.

1. The best love affairs are those we never had. — Norman Lindsay

2. Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. — Alfred, Lord Tennyson

3. Do not try to live for ever. You will not succeed. — George Bernard Shaw

4. Most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do. — Bertrand Russell

5. The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers. — William Shakespeare

6. Like many women my age, I am 28 years old. — Mary Schmich

7. I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it. — Jonathan Winters

8. Old age is no place for sissies. — Bette Davis

9. I love humanity but I hate people. — Edna St. Vincent Millay

10. The truth is more important than the facts. — Frank Lloyd Wright

11. We need not think alike to love alike. — Francis David

12. True friends stab you in the front. — Oscar Wilde

13. A goal without a plan is just a wish. — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

14. Failure is success if we learn from it. — Malcolm Forbes

15. Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds. — Albert Einstein

16. Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. — Henry David Thoreau

17. The years teach much which the days never knew. Ralph Waldo Emerson

18. Life is short, God’s way of encouraging a bit of focus. –Robert Brault

19. Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you’ll be right. — H.H. “Breaker” Morant

20. Spend the afternoon. You can’t take it with you. –Annie Dillard

21. Why always “not yet”? Do flowers in spring say “not yet”? –Norman Douglas

22. As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. — Henry David Thoreau

23. There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. — George Santayana

24. To change one’s life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions. –William James

25. Why must conversions always come so late? Why do people always apologize to corpses? — David Brin

26. You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it. –Charles Buxton

27. You may delay, but time will not. –Benjamin Franklin

28. Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference. –Mignon McLaughlin

29. Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. –Author Unknown

30. Every second is of infinite value. –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

31. Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. — Bob Hope

32. If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. — John Kenneth Galbraith

33. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. — Issac Asimov

34. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. — Oscar Wilde

35. The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook. — William James

36. Years teach us more than books. — Berthold Auerbach

37. The more a man knows, the more he forgives. — Catherine the Great

38. Imagination is more important than knowledge. — Albert Einstein

39. It is good to rub and polish our brains against that of others. — Michel de Montaigne

40. Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. — Walter Lipman

41. The aim of education should be to teach us how to think, rather than what to think. — James Beattie

42. The less men think, the more they talk. — Baron Montesquieu

43. Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it. — J. Petit Senn

44. Time and space are fragments of the infinite for the use of finite creatures. — Henri Frederic Amiel

45. We can always redeem the man who aspires and strives. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

46. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. — Thomas Jefferson

47. It’s kind of fun to do the impossible. — Walt Disney

48. The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as that every child should be given the wish to learn. — John Lubbock

49. To know how to suggest is the great art of teaching. — Henri Frederic Amiel

50. Education is the transmission of civilization. — Will Durant

Mamacita says:  I got fourteen emails from people who suspected it wasn’t I who posted that very excellent April 1 post on this blog yesterday.  Does this mean my writing style is that well known, or that the guest post yesterday was so much better, people instantly knew it couldn’t have been mine?

Also, is there something I don’t know yet that is causing people to email me instead of simply commenting on the blogpost?  I like to keep up to date.  Well, except for fashion.  Even there, I’d LIKE to keep up to date, but the sorry combination of budget and total lack of fashion sense are more than a bit of a handicap.  Yes, I have a fashion disability.  Shouldn’t that translate into guv’ment money and the head of the line somewhere?

Yesterday’s April Fool Project was the brainstorm of (who else) Mr. Teacher, and here is the rundown of the hoax:

Mr. Teacher  posted “Reasonable” Math Problems at I Want to Teach Forever.

Mr. D posted Use a Dartboard to Review Geometry and Probability at Mrs. Bluebird’s Classroom.

Mrs. Bluebird posted Molly the Manager at Successful Teaching.

Loonyhiker posted Looks aren’t Everything here at Scheiss Weekly.

I posted “Adult” means “Dirty” at Look at My Happy Rainbow!

Halpey posted Q is for Quickie Mart Clerk? on Learn Me Good.

Hope you enjoyed this fun little activity! If you did, please leave a comment or two!

1.  I still have never used an ATM machine.  I have a feeling it might be a detrimental skill for me to learn.

2.  I still have never watched a single Survivor-type show.  They all seem more like fraternity hazings to me.

3.  I’ve still not watched Oprah.  Don’t care, either.

4.  I’ve still not given up on people, though Heaven knows I’ve reason enough to.  But no, I still love, trust, and cherish almost everyone I’ve ever known.  Almost.

5.  I still haven’t moved into a cardboard box under a bridge, although we’re getting closer daily.

6.  I’ve still never been to Mexico, although we did cross that big bridge into Canada and back many years ago.

7.  I still have a very difficult time taking seriously anyone who can’t spell or put a sentence together properly. (The occasional honest mistake doesn’t count.)

8.  The only reality show I watch daily is Twitter. 

9.  I still can’t remember that Bobby Knight isn’t here any more.  I’m not a fan; he was just a fixture here.

10.  I still haven’t taken the Christmas wreath off the front door.  I have to wait for it to dry out!  Besides, I’m not done looking at it yet.

11.  Whenever we have snow – like right now – I’m still not over hoping for a snow day, even though I don’t get them now.  The anticipation factor for snow days is too ingrained.  (At the college level, at least one of the four horsemen must be in view before classes are canceled.)

12.  Even though I drive past his house all the time,  and I’m not a fan, I still haven’t stopped getting all happy when I see John Mellencamp in the mall.  (Helloooo, cute bodyguard. . . .)

13.  I will NEVER get used to not going to French Lick for every holiday and staying in that huge fairy tale of a house with all of my in-laws for almost a week at a time.  It’s been many years now, but I still picture how it was, and wish it could be so again. . . .Darn you, Thomas Wolfe.  You’re right, of course, but I don’t have to like it.

I know it’s Sunday now.  Shhhhh.

How very seemly to quote about the past when my deadline is past.

1. Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense. — George Ade

2. The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present. — Barbara De Angelis

3. It is one thing to learn about the past; it is another to wallow in it. — Kenneth Auchincloss

4. Nostalgia is a seductive liar. — George W. Ball

5. The past should be a springboard, not a hammock. — Ivern Ball

6. A safe but sometimes chilly way of recalling the past is to force open a crammed drawer. If you are searching for anything in particular you don’t find it, but something falls out at the back that is often more interesting. — Sir James M. Barrie

7. The past grows gradually around one, like a placenta for dying. — John Berger

8. The present contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already in the cause. — Henri L. Bergson

9. If you are carrying strong feelings about something that happened in your past, they may hinder your ability to live in the present. — Les Brown

10. One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us. — Michael Cibenko

11. To look back to antiquity is one thing, to go back to it is another. — Charles Caleb Colton

12. The past always looks better than it was because it isn’t here. — Finley Peter Dunne

13. The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there. — Leslie P. Hartley

14. If the only new thing we have to offer is an improved version of the past, then today can only be inferior to yesterday. Hypnotized by images of the past, we risk losing all capacity for creative change. — Robert Hewison

15. If the past cannot teach the present and the father cannot teach the son, then history need not have bothered to go on, and the world has wasted a great deal of time. — Russell Hoban

16. Nothing changes more constantly than the past; for the past that influences our lives does not consist of what actually happened, but of what men believe happened. — Gerald W. Johnson

17. What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now. — Unknown

18. Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed. — Wayne Dyer

19. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. –
Paul Boese

20. I’ve never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don’t understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.– Sophia Loren

21. Looking back you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life- and it was you. It is not too late to find that person again. — Robert Brault

22. Whoso neglects learning in his youth, loses the past and is dead for the future. — Euripides

23. When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness. — Bob Hope

24. Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter. — William Ralph Ing

25. We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice. — Stephen Covey

26. For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future. — John F. Kennedy

27. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. — Oscar Wilde

28. Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable. — George S. Patton

29. A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots. — Marcus Garvey

30. We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present. — Marianne Williamson

31. The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries. — Rene Descartes

32. You must learn from your past mistakes, but not lean on your past successes. — Denis Waitley

33. Much of the social history of the Western world, over the past three decades, has been a history of replacing what worked with what sounded good. — Thomas Sowell

34. The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that man may become robots. — Erich Fromm

35. We must welcome the future, remembering that soon it will be the past; and we must respect the past, remembering that it was once all that was humanly possible. — George Santayana

36. Without libraries what have we? We have no past and no future. — Ray Bradbury

37. If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system. — William James

38. The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone. — George Eliot

39. Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or can die. — Thomas Carlyle

40. The past, the present and the future are really one: they are today. — Harriet Beecher Stowe

41. Nothing revives the past so completely as a smell that was once associated with it. — Vladimir Nabokov

42. The present was an egg laid by the past that had the future inside its shell.
– Zora Neale Hurston

43. Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future. — Corrie Ten Boom

44. A mother’s happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories. — Honore de Balzac

45. If you want the present to be different from the past, study the past. — Baruch Spinoza

46. You can’t undo the past… but you can certainly not repeat it. — Bruce Willis

47. Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane. — Doug Larson

48. God gave us memory that we might have roses in December. — Sir James M. Barrie

49. Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday. — John Wayne

50. Anyone who limits her vision to memories of yesterday is already dead. — Lillie Langtry

Today is still the first day of the new year.  Today is Fresh Start Day. Let’s all try to give ourselves, and each other, a break, shall we, and start fresh with things that need a fresh start.

1. If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down. — Mary Pickford

2. When faced with a challenge, look for a way, not a way out. –David Weatherford

3. Courage is about doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared. –Eddie Rickenbacker

4. One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered. –Michael J. Fox

5. Above all, challenge yourself. You may well surprise yourself at what strengths you have, what you can accomplish. –Cecile Springer

6. It takes chances to make changes. –Danielle Ballentine

7. Excellence is the result of habitual integrity. –Lenny Bennett

8. Whenever you feel that something as simple as a smile or a kind act will go unnoticed, do it anyway. You never know how much it might change someone else’s life. –Erin Bishop

9. Square your shoulders to the world, be not the kind to quit; It’s not the load that weighs you down but the way you carry it. –Unknown

10. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. –Mark Twain

11. The biggest mistake you can make is continually fearing you will make one. –Unknown

12. If I were asked to give what I consider the most useful bit of advice for all humanity it would be this: Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold your head high, look it squarely in the eye and say, ‘I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.’ –Ann Landers

13. A true hero does what needs to be done and needs no other reason. –Unknown

14. We have all been placed on this earth to discover our own path, and we will never be happy if we live someone else’s idea of life. –James Van Praagh

15. The impossible is often untried. –Unknown

16. People whine, ‘I haven’t succeeded because I haven’t had the breaks.’ You create your own breaks. –Chuck Norris

17. Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. –Cadet maxim, West Point, New York

18. I have always tried to be true to myself, to pick those battles I felt were important. My ultimate responsibility is to myself. I could never be anything else. –Arthur Ashe

19. Make yourself a blessing to someone. Your kind smile or pat on the back just might pull someone back from the edge. –Carmelia Elliot

20. A successful life doesn’t require that we’ve done the best, but that we’ve done our best. –H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

21. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
–Henry David Thoreau

22. Live your life so that if someone says ‘Be yourself’ it’s good advice. –Robert Orben

23. Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. –Clarence Thomas

24. Go the extra mile. It’s never crowded. — Anonymous

25. . . . isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet? — L.M. Montgomery

26. The beginning is always today. –Mary Shelley

27. Be willing to be a beginner every single morning. — Meister Eckhart

28. The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. — C.C. Scott

29. The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. — Ivy Baker

30. Remember tonight.. for it is the beginning of always. — Unknown