Scheiss Weekly

category archive listing Category Archives: Humor

Show and Tell

Mamacita says:  Many years ago, I was teaching Public Speaking in a small farmland high school in southern Indiana. My students’ assignment, one week, was to give an informal “how-to” presentation, a brief demonstration of something they personally knew how to do. That week, we all learned how to crochet a chain stitch, how to [...]

Say Hello to My Little Friend

Mamacita says:  This is a caffeine molecule. We hang out far too much.  I had thought about writing a humorous essay about how I’ve been known to drive to WalMart at 3 a.m. for Diet Coke because we were out and I couldn’t wait for morning to go get some. But that isn’t really funny [...]

It’s Not My Fault. Pay Me.

Mamacita says:  I first saw this cartoon a few years ago when I was thin and I thought it was funny. Of course, I didn’t know then that it wasn’t a cartoon at all, but an actual documented photo of evil recurring entities, plotting to destroy the self-esteem of a lady who looks a lot [...]

Back Off – Your Kids Don’t Need An Adult Best Friend

Mamacita says:  I can remember being really little, and I can remember my parents playing with me. (Those are my parents; aren’t they pretty?) They played with me whenever they could, but it wasn’t very often. I can remember Mom sitting on the floor, playing paper dolls with us, and showing us how to dress [...]

The Queen’s “We” Loves Morel Mushrooms

Mamacita says:  It’s that time again.  That’s right; it’s finals week. Oh wait, that wasn’t what I meant to say. It’s that time again.  The morel mushrooms are here. My husband still speaks wistfully of the day he and the kids visited his step-grandmother Margaret (she whom John Dillinger once tried to carjack. . . [...]

Rules Kids Won’t Learn In School

Oh, I know, I know; this list is everywhere and you’ve all seen it a zillion times. Well, make that a zillion and one. For some reason, it just hit me in a good place today. == Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average [...]

April is Poetry Month: Elizabeth Bishop

Elizabeth Bishop Sonnet I am in need of music that would flow Over my fretful, feeling finger-tips, Over my bitter-tainted, trembling lips, With melody, deep, clear, and liquid-slow. Oh, for the healing swaying, old and low, Of some song sung to rest the tired dead, A song to fall like water on my head, And [...]

Standardization, Administration, & Other Bollocky Things

Mamacita says:  Beethoven and Rodin would never make it in an American public school these days. Neither would Lincoln, or Clara Barton, or Thomas Jefferson. Nor Einstein. Or Edison. Administrators have forgotten that ultimately, our culture will be judged on the arts; that’s how we learn about ancient cultures. We did not find any remnants [...]

April is Poetry Month: Sara Henderson Hay

Mamacita says:  I could not find a picture of Sara Henderson Hay; every time I thought I’d found one, it turned out to be a bogus site that threatened to shut down my computer.  I like Hay’s poems, but apparently Google images doesn’t. So, in keeping with her poem’s theme, I chose another picture. The [...]

Faith and Begorrah

Mamacita says: May you be buried in a casket made from the wood of a 100 year old oak That I shall plant tomorrow. Oh, tis a wondrous thing to be Irish, although the same could not be said earlier in our country’s history. Many people do not know how unwelcome the Irish were here, [...]