In other words, we attend some conferences for certain reasons, and we attend other conferences for other reasons.  Often, these reasons overlap, and just as often, they do not.  Don’t expect every professional need you have to be satisfied by every conference; you need more than one, to wit, a combo of conferences.

In the long run, however, by attending various types of conferences for various reasons, I have learned far more than I ever learned in graduate school.

At first, everyone at every conference was new to me; even those whose blogs and websites I’d been reading for a while, but had not actually met, seemed new in many ways.   No matter what kind of conference it was, though, I felt I already knew these people somewhat because of their online presence.

Now, since I’m no longer a conference newbie – well, not as much of one as before -  I feel almost as if it’s Old Home Week when I go to a conference.  It’s wonderful to see familiar faces, and just as wonderful to see unfamiliar faces which I know will be familiar at the NEXT conference.  I’m far from being an A-list writer,  but the actual A-list people don’t seem to know how A-list they are and are really, really nice.  (This attitude can be different, though, depending on what kind of conference you’re attending and what kind of expectations you bring to the table.)

I guess you might say I’m thoroughly hooked on conferences.

They have greatly enhanced my ability to do my writing gigs, my social media gigs, my watchdog gigs, my teaching gigs, my help-my-students-become-writers gigs, and my time-to-surf-and-find-new-things gigs.

At each conference, I’m agig agog at the awesomeness of the attendees and presenters.  I’ve never met such smart people in my life.

For a small-town chick like me, it’s been a whole new world.  Alert Aladdin at once.

Another reason I love conferences is that because I’m a small-town chick, there really isn’t anybody close to home who understands what I do for a living.  At conferences, I can have actual conversations with actual people who actually understand!

Conferences help me hone my mad skillz.  Come with me next time and we’ll hone together.

I know they’re big stuff now, and I’m glad because they so totally deserve to be big stuff, but let it be known that I loved them before you did.

But grooving all over Straight No Chaser is something I’ve already done and will continue to do. Here are some things I haven’t done yet:

1.  I really need to mow the grass one more time before the snow covers it.  Why do I need to do this?  Because I’m hosting Thanksgiving, and I don’t want my family to get their knees wet when they walk across my lawn.  And why, you might wonder, would their knees get wet if they walked across my lawn?  You’re not really wondering, are you.  Some of you have been here.

2.  I haven’t taken the huge stack of midterm exams – makeup version – to the Testing Center yet, but I’ll do that tomorrow afternoon.  Pig-genre Flu has taken its toll on my students.

3.  I haven’t washed the fifteen bread pans I used this afternoon yet.  I didn’t even know I owned fifteen bread pans, but I guess I do.  Spread out all over the stovetop and counters as they are, a casual observer might guess that I owned a hundred bread pans.  The dishwasher won’t hold them all, that’s for sure.

4.  I haven’t loaded my Christmas music into my cd jukebox yet, but I’m thinking about it.  I always try to wait until after Halloween, at least, but I do love me some purty Christmas music.  If my mention of this fact has offended anyone, suck it up.  People who take offense at other people’s celebrations make me tired.

5.  I still haven’t stopped humming awesome Beatles’ songs; I’ve been a fan since sixth grade and since I saw “1964″ a couple of weeks ago, the obsession has surfaced again.  (Thank you so very much, Smaller Indiana!!!!)

6.  There are leftovers in my refrigerator that have almost achieved the “science project” level.  I haven’t cleaned it out in a while.  Perhaps I should do that tomorrow.  Yes, tomorrow.  The sun’ll come out tomorrow.  I’ll think about that tomorrow.

7.  In my head, I’m still at Blog World Expo in Vegas.  I haven’t really come home yet.  I mean, I’m home, and back to work, but I’m not entirely here.  Note: this is NOT the same thing as “She ain’t all there.”  Although, there has been some doubt for some time. . . . .

8.  Whenever I use an ordinary trash bag, I see gnats – or worse.  When I use a Repellem trash bag, there are NO bugs to be seen anywhere in the house.  They even take care of the ladybug beetles, which is nothing short of extraordinary for southern Indiana.  I need to order some more Repellem bags.  I haven’t done that for a while.

9.  I still hate Pentax.  Haven’t come down from the shoddy treatment yet.

10.  It’s nearly three a.m. and I have to get up in a few hours.  I always do this on Sunday nights.  When will I ever learn?  Probably never, that’s when.

And now, Carly Simon has begun to sing “bedroom songs, ” so maybe that’s where I’d best go.

Goodnight, dear Blogosphere.

I just got back from Blog World Expo in Las Vegas and I’ll tell you honestly that I didn’t want to leave it.  I love blog conferences and I love Vegas.  Can you tell?  Does it show?

Jim Turner of One by One Media did a FANTASTIC job on this conference.  I’d like to have a nickel for every person who stopped by the booth and mentioned his name.  Ditto for his radio spots.  Excellent.  Best social media director ever.

Now, how did I get to Vegas?  Southwest Airlines.  The trip there was flawless – every detail was smooth.  The flight attendants were hilarious and helpful and the pilot kept telling jokes over the intercom.  (I am put at ease by funny people.)  On the trip back, Southwest made a little error in that the boarding pass guy gave me a boarding pass with someone else’s name and destination on it, which I didn’t discover until I was in line to remove my shoes and submit to a full body cavity search because I’m ALWAYS that random person who gets such attention.  When it was almost my turn, I looked closely at the boarding pass and saw the words “Laura” and “Nashville” on it.  Since my name is not Laura and I wasn’t going to Nashville – although it is a lovely city and I’m sure I would have had a good time there – I turned to the heavily armed guard waving people through and asked him what I should do.  He sent me back downstairs where I found a very helpful woman who took me back outside to the curbfront boarding pass kiosk, and all was made well.  The young man who made the mistake was genuinely mortified, but I told him it was all right; I wasn’t mad, and I certainly wasn’t one of those nasty dirty people who sue at the drop of a hat, or demand freebies over some well-intentioned person’s simple piece of human error.  I got a pass with “Jane” and “Indianapolis” on it, and rejoined the line of barefoot people, the contents of their pockets in bowls sliding along the table towards the curtained  x-ray machine and the eyes of two women who have GOT to have the most boring job in the world.   Well, until the crazies show up.

Right now, Southwest is my favorite airline.  On the way home, both attendants sang all the instructions to us, and told jokes almost all the way from Vegas to Indy.  I thanked them for the flight and the show.  Oh, and for the peanuts, which were in a package clearly labeled “Peanuts.”  Under which was printed “Warning:  contains peanuts.”

My second favorite airline is Frontier.  Flying Frontier is easy and organized, and I’ve never had a single problem with them.  Nobody sang to me, but since I really didn’t expect that kind of entertainment, I didn’t miss it.

I cannot say the same for any other airline I’ve used.  Nope, can’t do it.  (The worst so far: American.)

Oh, and that “problem” with Southwest today?  It only raised my respect for the company.  A company that admits a mistake and immediately fixes it is far superior to a company that denies making any mistakes and makes you jump through hoops and fill out forms to get it “fixed.”  Seriously.  I’d patronize a business that allowed negative consumer comments before I’d go near a business that is seemingly perfect, because we KNOW it’s not perfect – they just don’t let anybody know about any complaints.  The business that isn’t afraid to let it be known that it’s run by imperfect humans who occasionally mess up – AND WHICH DEMONSTRATES AND PROVES THAT ANY PROBLEMS ARE IMMEDIATELY FIXED – is my kind of business.  I know for a fact that there are many businesses online that will not publish any but the positive comments. I call bullshit on that practice.  Consumers KNOW businesses make mistakes, and when businesses admit it and fix them and show the WORLD they make mistakes and fix them, well, that’s the kind of business we’re ALL seeking, isn’t it?  The “extra mile” isn’t really extra at all; it’s necessary, vital even, if you want to succeed in today’s world.  The honest way, anyway.

As far as the conference was organized, all I can say is: FANTASTIC.  I have not a single complaint, and if you know me at all, you know that’s some kind of amazing.

Okay, one complaint:  it’s over now.  I’m at home, and I’d rather be in Vegas, catching sight of the people I’m fast becoming acquainted with who show up at all of these conferences.  It’s like going to summer camp as a kid: every year, the same kids are there, and you search the sea of faces for THOSE PEOPLE and THERE THEY ARE!  Awesomeness at its most awesome.

The following will be entirely too much information unless you love me:

I’m going in for a colonoscopy on Friday.  How I’m going to lecture with all that laxative running through my system, I really don’t know.  Yet.

Key word:  “running.”  And it’s not the laxative I’m worried about.

Frankly, I don’t want my students to know for sure how full of “it” I really am.

Did you really read all of that?  I love you, too!

I’m in Vegas at Blog World Expo, and since Vegas is like Disney World – for – adults, and since I love Disney, and since I’m an adult (shut up) I’m having a blast.

Conferences – particularly blogging conferences – have become a passion with me.  I’ve met so many wonderful people, and I’ve been able to put faces to names I’ve read for years, and I’ve made connections and I’ve laughed and I’ve shared potato chips with total strangers who turned out to be real friend material.

Y’all should really be here.  I mean, why aren’t you?  You blog.  This is a blog conference.  It’s logical!

And now, I need to get back to the One by One Media booth and handle some more balls.  Seriously.  If you were here, you’d know what that meant.  Since some of you aren’t here, you’ll just have to use your imaginations.  Go nuts.

Balls.  Nuts.  Man, sometimes I crack myself up.

Nuts.  Crack.  It just never stops with me sometimes.

Did you ever “sort of” know someone and wish you could be friends?  I ran into a lady today and she invited me to lunch on Friday, and I’m so excited, my earlobes itch.  How junior high is that?  Well, I’m here to tell you something you already knew:  in many ways, we never outgrow junior high.

The world is full of lovely people, and I truly believe that if we open our eyes and ears and hearts to others, they will respond.  Well, most of them, anyway.  There are some people you can’t kill with a meat axe.

Tomorrow is my last day to sleep until just before my husband gets home from work to sleep in, and I intend to take full advantage of it. My teaching schedule is full, full, full, and this is a wonderful thing indeed. Normal people – whatever THAT is – get up in the morning, and soon I will be getting up at 6:30 and doing a lot of whining about it even while I’m grateful.  I’ll be teaching most of every day, and nights until 9:00.  I like to be busy; it keeps me off the streets.  Our creditors are also glad.

You and I both know that someone will phone me early in the morning.    Twas ever thus.

Listening to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Celebration.

Invested in new washcloths today.  I lead a thrilling life.

I need to get out the Sevin.  My poor tomatoes and rosebushes look like green lace.  Stupid bugs.  Why can’t they eat the weeds?

I’ve got the blog conference withdrawal blues.  Ain’t nothing gonna make me content except another conference.  It’s an addiction; I must be humored in every way.

And now, I’m off to do important things.  You know, like harvest some more cotton and stuff.  Oh, and laundry.  And ice cream.  It’s sugar-free, so it doesn’t count, right?

I’m hooked now on writing conferences.  Social media get-togethers have become my crack cocaine.  No longer do I have to cook my meth in my neighbor’s front yard, over an open flame in full view of passing state cops – hey, it IS Indiana, remember, and near the river to boot – for now I can get my high by mingling with and listening to smart people talk about blogging, writing, social media, and all things such as them there.  Not to mention honing my mad grammar skillz which have gone to poop pot in just these past few days of what might euphemistically be called “My Vacation.”

WordCamp got me hooked.  BlogHer made it worse.  Science in the Rockies helped me realize just how important social media connections can be; besides which, it was an absolute BLAST, and the most educational of all educational conferences I’ve ever attended. (Hurry and sign up for 2010!!)    BlogIndiana will give me a much-needed fix. (It’s not too late to sign up!)   And in October,  I’ll be getting my blogging high on in Las Vegas at Blog World Expo, the Big One.

Someone recently asked me WHY I was so keen to go to the Expo. I highly respect this person and have for quite a while, so even though I answered her directly, I’ll answer her here as well, and not merely by saying “please see above.”  Although I guess I just said that.   I will then add that even though the social media thang is a few years old, it’s still pretty much brand-new, and those of us who are addicted are hooked pretty hard.  Around these parts, at least, it’s impossible to find others with whom I can squee and ooooh and exchange points of view about social media and blogging and making all kinds of connections for my clients and doing the business thing with it and using it for things other than the “My babies are so beautiful this morning and I just HAD to tell everybody here” or “I’m having scrambled eggs this morning; what are you having” kind of communication, although such Twitters are interesting and informative to be sure.  There is also so much more to it than having a My Space and selecting the appropriately goth/sparkly/NASCAR/DisneyPrincess/Hogwarts/polka-dotted background and making the dizzying decision as to who will be your TOP FRIENDS this week.

Side note:  If you have a business and have no online presence, you’re losing out on a lot of connection  opportunities.  Get with it, old-timer.  Put down your slide rule, slip that cover over your typewriter, get a phone that isn’t fastened to the wall, replace your Windows 95, and hire somebody who knows how to make your existence known without shelling out tons of money.  Some money, thankyouverymuch, but not tons.  Seriously, you’ll save tons and get megatons back.  Hello, my email is on the sidebar.

Do you like baseball?  Then you’ll LOVE Ultimate Baseball: The Game.  Seriously.

But I digress.

School has already started for many of you. . . . nah, that’s another post in and of itself.  “Never mind.”

Writing conferences.  Come on, meet me there!  You’ll also meet JustHeather, and maybe she’ll take a picture of YOU with a pickle hanging out of your mouth!  If you’re lucky, that is.

Don’t be afraid.  I’m harmless.  I’m nice, really I am, apart from my terrible taste in pie, and. . . no, wait, that’s from Love Actually.

I am nice, though.  Harmless, nice, eager to learn everything I possibly can about social media, business, giving YOUR enterprise an online presence to be valued and envied, blogging, and looking forward to next week for many, many reasons.

One of those reasons is the people.  It would be really awesome if a lot of YOU were there.