The Typical Southern Indiana Winter

hell freezes overMamacita says:  If you don’t live anywhere around these parts, you might think this is some kind of joke.  If you live in southern Indiana,  you’ll know it for the truth that it states.

The Typical Southern Indiana Winter

@ +70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal
underwear. People
in Indiana go swimming in the Rivers.

@ +60 degrees
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Indiana plant gardens.

@ +50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Indiana sunbathe.

@ +40 degrees
Italian &English cars won’t start.
People in Indiana drive with the windows down.

@ +32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Wabash River water gets thicker.

@ +20 degrees
Floridians down coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and
woolly hats.
People in Indiana throw on a flannel shirt.

@ +15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Indiana have the last cookout before it
gets cold.

@ +10 degrees
People in Miami all die…
Hoosiers lick the flagpole.

@ -20 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Indiana get out their winter coats.

@ -40 degrees
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Indiana are selling cookies door
to door.

@ -60 degrees
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Indiana Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes
until it gets cold enough.

@ -80 degrees
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Indiana rent some videos.

@ -100 degrees
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Hoosiers get frustrated because they can’t thaw the
keg.

@ -297 degrees
Microbial life no longer survives in dairy products.
Cows in Indiana complain about farmers with cold hands.

@ -460 degrees
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin
scale).
People in Indiana start saying, “Cold ’nuff for ya?”

AND

@ -500 degrees
Hell freezes over.
The Colts win the Super Bowl.


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