Say Hello to My Little Friend

Mamacita says:  This is a caffeine molecule. We hang out far too much.  I had thought about writing a humorous essay about how I’ve been known to drive to WalMart at 3 a.m. for Diet Coke because we were out and I couldn’t wait for morning to go get some.

But that isn’t really funny – it’s just sad. Besides, ever since I discovered the “People of WalMart” website, I’ve been afraid I’d end up on there with keywords like “dowdy” and “hoarder” under my not-even-lucky-enough-to-be-blurry picture.

So I thought I’d talk about how even my students know I’m happier when there’s a Diet Coke on my desk, and when the professor is happy, everybody in the room is happy. And how sometimes, a student will even bring me a Diet Coke.

Diet Coke is the new apple for the teacher.

But that’s not really humorous, either.

Then I thought about mentioning how people who know me make a point of having Diet Coke in their refrigerators when they invite me over or know I’ll be there.  People who wouldn’t touch a Diet Coke with a ten foot pole will make sure they’re a few for me, even in, among, and around their own wholesome, nutritious spring waters and fruit juices.

Again, not funny.

Well, how about a piece about how flavored colas are Satan Juice, especially the lime ones?

Naw.  Silly isn’t humorous; it’s just silly.

Finally, I thought about turning my original idea from humor to a serious talk about health and well-being, figuring that it might help a few people battle their own obsessions.

“My poor personal example might inspire someone to take charge of his/her own nutritional requirements and make wiser choices, ” thought I.

Like that’s going to happen.

So I’m showing you all what a caffeine molecule looks like because I think it’s all cute and stuff, and it makes me snicker to imagine an ice-cold bottle full of these little wiggly jobbers being sucked down someone’s throat on a hot day science is important.

In fact, science is one of my favorite things.  That’s because science is ALL things, a wonder at a time.

Oh, and the melted Mentos and Diet Coke dregs left in the bottle after the Geyser goes off are delicious.

And, I’m sure, quite good for us.  No, I’m not sharing.  Back off.


Comments

Say Hello to My Little Friend — 10 Comments

  1. I thought it was pretty da**—I forgot, I’m not on my own blog!—not right to use my usual foul-mouthed assininities!—funny despite your lack of inspiration.

    And I decided I was crazy about your writing when you waxed eloquent on science. Seriously. That’s how I feel about the process of learning to read, and the things that go wrong and cause problems. I almost get high thinking of ways to solve the problems. Science has a lot of problem solving, right?

    Isn’t it great to really, really care about something? I feel sad for people who don’t.

    Love your work!

  2. I thought it was pretty da**—I forgot, I’m not on my own blog!—not right to use my usual foul-mouthed assininities!—funny despite your lack of inspiration.

    And I decided I was crazy about your writing when you waxed eloquent on science. Seriously. That’s how I feel about the process of learning to read, and the things that go wrong and cause problems. I almost get high thinking of ways to solve the problems. Science has a lot of problem solving, right?

    Isn’t it great to really, really care about something? I feel sad for people who don’t.

    Love your work!

  3. I’m famous for saving an entire backwards, tea party-hugging, all sphincters red, really messed up stretch of the S. Carolina coast on the back of Diet Coke. As a long-time psychotherapist here, I fueled all my transmitted insights on them. One can popped before the first session. One after lunch. One at 3:00 pm.

    Great though they are though, not even an ocean of Diet Cokes managed to turn the tide on Congressional doings of late. I’m switching to Decaf Diet Cokes.

  4. I’m famous for saving an entire backwards, tea party-hugging, all sphincters red, really messed up stretch of the S. Carolina coast on the back of Diet Coke. As a long-time psychotherapist here, I fueled all my transmitted insights on them. One can popped before the first session. One after lunch. One at 3:00 pm.

    Great though they are though, not even an ocean of Diet Cokes managed to turn the tide on Congressional doings of late. I’m switching to Decaf Diet Cokes.

  5. “Diet Coke is the new apple for the teacher.” That is sooooo true! When a student owes me something for a favor I have done for them I tell them to bring a Diet Coke. They usually don’t though. One of my colleagues keeps some DCs in his science lab fridge, and he has saved my sanity on more than one occasion. It’s a miracle elixir.

  6. “Diet Coke is the new apple for the teacher.” That is sooooo true! When a student owes me something for a favor I have done for them I tell them to bring a Diet Coke. They usually don’t though. One of my colleagues keeps some DCs in his science lab fridge, and he has saved my sanity on more than one occasion. It’s a miracle elixir.

  7. I’m also addicted to Diet Coke, but I find that too much of this brew raises my blood sugars–I crave things like potato chips and cookies (so not good for me). So I’ve cut back on DC, a lot, but still think about it every day!

    Great post!

  8. I’m also addicted to Diet Coke, but I find that too much of this brew raises my blood sugars–I crave things like potato chips and cookies (so not good for me). So I’ve cut back on DC, a lot, but still think about it every day!

    Great post!

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