There are, of course Twelve Actual Rules of Christmas, according to the law, and in case you don’t know what they are and have intentions of storming the school or business that’s maliciously ignoring your rights as a Christian/Jew/Catholic/Protestant/Wiccan/Pagan/Atheist/Order of Elfland/Kisser of Mother Earth’s Backside, etc, perhaps y’all should take a glance at the law concerning such matters.
. . . interrupting my Christmas Eve blues (it’s almost here, which means it’s almost over!), my wallowing in Love Actually, my longing for visits from family, my worry about family members who are ill, my total digging (hippie language) of the White Christmas Blizzard happening outside as I type, and my dread of taking down all my holiday decorations in a week or so, with another version of the Twelve Rules of Christmas, just for you:
1. Christmas is always better than you thought it would be, even if it’s not.
2. Christmas brings people together, even if it’s by contrast and not comparison.
3. Christmas gifts made by childish hands are the best. Christmas gifts FOR a child are even better.
4. Christmas dinner is always great, even if it’s frozen pizza. Because it’s Christmas.
5. No one is alone on Christmas unless he/she chooses to be alone. There are just too many places to go or to volunteer, to stay at home or in one’s room and whine. Feeling left out? Put on your coat and drive to the soup kitchen/homeless shelter, etc. If being needed and appreciated is what you’re after – and who isn’t? – head for places where you’re definitely needed and genuinely appreciated. It’s your own fault if you’re alone and sad at Christmas, or any other time, actually.
6. Every Christmas tree is beautiful.
7. Every wrapped package under the tree is beautiful, especially the ones wrapped by inept fingers.
8. Christmas M&M’s taste better than ordinary M&M’s. Ditto Christmas Snickers and Christmas Reese’s Trees.
9. Christmas fruitcakes make great footballs, doorstops, and stories for next year, unless you actually like to eat fruitcake, in which case, bon appetit. Watch your teeth. And what exactly are those green slimy things?
10. Christmas trees often bring the outdoors inside for our pets, ifyouknowwhatImean.
11. Christmas season begins too soon and ends too quickly.
12. The proper and polite response to “Merry Christmas” is “Thank you,” even if you do not believe in it. Rudeness is always a choice, and it’s never appropriate to throw someone’s well-wishes back into his/her face. If you’re insulted by someone’s wishing you well, keep it to yourself. Charming Fairylit Woodland Seasonal Solstice Nothingness Greetings to you, too. (Thank you.)
I’ve watched Love Actually three times this Christmas week, and I might have to give it another couple of viewings to get the sentiment and emotion out of my system. Otherwise, I might be like Rebecca Randall’s Aunt Jane, so soft and sentimental it’s a wonder I don’t leak out the doorsill.* It’s been suggested before.
Just to hear the music. . . . That soundtrack – it’s blazingly fantastic. Fantastic, and, well, lovely. Just lovely.
Excuse me. I have to go mop myself up off the floor before all of me oozes under the door and out onto the yard.
If you haven’t ever seen Love Actually, what the bloody hell is WRONG with you!!! oh dear Lord, watch it now. Be aware, however, that it’s not exactly family friendly in a few scenes. Watch it late at night, with someone you love. Or all by yourself in your kitchen whilst making homemade bread and fudge and trying not to weep copious tears into the dough.
P.S. #13. Christmas is a time for family and friends, and it’s so magically wondrous when they come to visit! I can believe in God when I’m with family. Without them, it can be difficult.
*Bonus points if you understand the reference.