Political Incorrectness and Me (Fair Warning)


Mamacita says:  Many of you will not like this post, and for that, I’m sorry.  Then again, actually, I’m not sorry, because I believe I am right. I welcome anyone’s counter-argument, but if your intention is to enlighten me and change my mind, dream on good luck.

I love airports, and I love riding on airplanes.  Or, would that be riding IN airplanes?  See, students, prepositions are quite important.  If I were to ride on an airplane, I’d be in all the papers under the headline “Nutter Straddles Boeing 747” or some such.  Or, would that be, I’d be WITH the headline, or ACCOMPANIED BY the headline. . . .   PREPOSITIONS, people!

I love meeting people.  I’ve met the nicest people on planes, in fact.  I love it when they turn to me and strike up a conversation, or just smile and mind their own business.  I firmly believe that most people are good people: kind, fair, considerate, and eager to help others.  I also firmly believe that all people have a right to what they pay for, and NO right to what someone else has paid for, without prior permission from the person who paid.

The thing is, when I saw this woman shuffling down the aisle – or perhaps UP the aisle, or through the aisle (take your pick) I knew exactly where she was going to sit.  Right.  By.  Me.

Beside me. Near me.  Attached to me.  Glued to me.  Pressed against me.  Melting against me like a caramel in the sun.  A really, really big, sweaty caramel.

I have never cared for political correctness.  I think it cheapens and weakens the language, and turns situations that fully earn the attention deserved by idiocy and selfishness  into something that believes it merits sympathy, and catering to, rather than derision, or possibly (shudder, and what were you THINKING!) common sense.

So here it is, and bring it on.  This is not a new issue; people have been debating it for a long time.  Where do I stand?  Right here.

Perhaps it is time for airlines to sell their space according to the amount of space each passenger will need.  Not weight, although I know they used to in the beginning, and maybe it was wiser than the “equality” of now, with all seats the same size and price; I think airlines should sell the space by measurement.

Perhaps there should be a row of different-sized seats at the ticket booth, and a description of such including measurements, on the internet, and people could “try on” the seats, and the passenger will pay for whichever size suits his/her, well, ass.  Or needs.  Small ass, small price.  Huge ass, huge price.

Parents with small children could purchase an extra-large space to accommodate their children and “things.”  People who want to work while flying could purchase an extra- large space.  People who just plain don’t want other people’s elbows touching theirs could purchase a large space.  And – here it is – large people could purchase an extra-large space so they don’t trespass on someone else’s paid-for space.

Small people with no accouterments could purchase a small space.

Average people could purchase an average-sized space.

All passengers would be required to stow only ONE piece of whatever above his/her own rented space.  In other words, the space over one’s seat belongs only to the person in that seat. Nobody has a right to space above anybody else’s seat. (I hate it when I try to stow my one bag above my seat and discover that someone from the back of the plane took my space.  USE YOUR OWN SPACE. )

And if you weigh 395 pounds and your right buttock and side-boob cover more than half of the body next to you, you should be required to pay for the space you are covering, and the crushed person should get a discount.  So much money per square inch of ass, for example.   If you are over or under-sized, why can’t you inform the airline of this fact BEFORE entering a plane that’s at capacity?  And why should anybody have to share paid-for space with someone else who didn’t pay for that space?  Kevin Smith, indeed.  And he wasn’t as large as my seatmate’s right arm alone.

This woman, today, reached over and pushed up the armrests, and somehow sidled herself into the middle seat.  When she sat, only her buttcrack well, what else could one call it? was in her own paid-for space; one buttock was in my lap and the other was in the lap of the man on her left.  Her body pushed me against the wall and window so hard, my cheek was smashed against the glass.  Her side-boob and upper arm covered over half my body, and on her other side, the body of the man by the aisle.  The two of us were unrecognizable; I was mashed against the wall and window, and the man was mashed and pushed almost into the aisle.  My left arm was underneath her and I had to leave it there because the only other place for it was on top of her boobs.

Milk of human kindness, etc. etc. blah blah blah.  She was trespassing into spaces that weren’t hers.  She should have been required to buy three tickets.

Am I being unreasonable?  I don’t think I am.  However, I think she was.

Please don’t beseige me with “wah wah wah” because I don’t care to hear it unless you’ve got a better argument than “self esteem. ”  People should be required to pay for the space they take over, on an airplane.  Period.  Whether the passenger requires more space for children, workspace, breathing room, or ass – those people should be required to pay for that space.  If it turns out that the flight has space to spare,  these people could be given a refund for all but one purchased seat.  Otherwise, in a packed plane, let people pay for whatever space they cover, and people who cover less space should pay less than people who cover two or even three spaces.

“I have a right to fly, boo hoo, just like everyone else, wah wah.”  Sure you do.  But if you take up more than one seat, you should have to buy more than one seat.

Honest to boo; I didn’t even have a place for my feet.  I rode the entire way with one foot resting on top of the other.

And now, let it begin.  More people will side with this woman than with her victims.  Why is that?  I’ve been wondering that for a long time now.

I’m not a mean person; really, I’m not.  Well, not usually.  But I do believe, and quite firmly, that on a plane, nobody has a right to an inch that someone else paid for.  You want it, or need it?  Buy it.


Comments

Political Incorrectness and Me (Fair Warning) — 30 Comments

  1. You’ve nailed it, Jane. Oh, and don’t sweat any politically correct comments that berate you for speaking the truth. You are quite right about this issue, and those who insist that obese people have a right to three times the space for the same price are wrong, wrong, wrong.

    I once flew from Seattle to D.C. with a big fat woman’s breast in my face. Yeah, I hear ya.

  2. You’ve nailed it, Jane. Oh, and don’t sweat any politically correct comments that berate you for speaking the truth. You are quite right about this issue, and those who insist that obese people have a right to three times the space for the same price are wrong, wrong, wrong.

    I once flew from Seattle to D.C. with a big fat woman’s breast in my face. Yeah, I hear ya.

  3. To Deb: I believe it is true, because I have been in that same position as Jane. I flew from Miami to Chicago with the buttock of a stranger on my lap, and it wasn’t pleasant. I felt as if I was pinned to my seat. Every time I moved, this woman said, “Well, REALLY!” or “Excuse me?” I couldn’t even hold my paperback book (couldn’t lower the tray because SHE was in the way) and turn pages because it disturbed her. When the ordeal was finally over, I could barely walk. My wife hugged me and said, “What is that SMELL?”

    So, Mamacita, don’t feel like most people don’t understand what you’re talking about. Most of us do. Those who’ve BEEN THERE, do. You have my utmost admiration for daring to say what so many of us would love to say.

  4. To Deb: I believe it is true, because I have been in that same position as Jane. I flew from Miami to Chicago with the buttock of a stranger on my lap, and it wasn’t pleasant. I felt as if I was pinned to my seat. Every time I moved, this woman said, “Well, REALLY!” or “Excuse me?” I couldn’t even hold my paperback book (couldn’t lower the tray because SHE was in the way) and turn pages because it disturbed her. When the ordeal was finally over, I could barely walk. My wife hugged me and said, “What is that SMELL?”

    So, Mamacita, don’t feel like most people don’t understand what you’re talking about. Most of us do. Those who’ve BEEN THERE, do. You have my utmost admiration for daring to say what so many of us would love to say.

  5. I’m pretty big myself and I ALWAYS get an aisle seat.
    Then I just lean out a little into the aisle instead of
    on the person next to me. Flight attendants bump me
    with the refreshment card but I take it. sigh…

  6. I’m pretty big myself and I ALWAYS get an aisle seat.
    Then I just lean out a little into the aisle instead of
    on the person next to me. Flight attendants bump me
    with the refreshment card but I take it. sigh…

  7. Oh, Deb, no. I know that Jane was just trying to describe a bad situation in a humorous way. Personally, I found it very humorous, and I’m a very, very, very, very large woman who used to be even larger.

    Please don’t EVER think our Mamacita would be deliberately hatefull. There’s not a beastly bone in her body.

    Speaking for myself, I can attest to the fact that years ago when I was even larger, my buttcrack was indeed the only part of me in the middle seat, but I had the courtesy then to purchase a whole row. Yup, really big.

    Don’t feel badly, Jane. Most of us who’ve followed you for a long time know you well enough to know that you were simply reacting to a long, uncomfortable flight with humor. I laughed. Still laughing. My husband read it and said, “That was you, six years ago, Leanne.” So funny.

  8. Oh, Deb, no. I know that Jane was just trying to describe a bad situation in a humorous way. Personally, I found it very humorous, and I’m a very, very, very, very large woman who used to be even larger.

    Please don’t EVER think our Mamacita would be deliberately hatefull. There’s not a beastly bone in her body.

    Speaking for myself, I can attest to the fact that years ago when I was even larger, my buttcrack was indeed the only part of me in the middle seat, but I had the courtesy then to purchase a whole row. Yup, really big.

    Don’t feel badly, Jane. Most of us who’ve followed you for a long time know you well enough to know that you were simply reacting to a long, uncomfortable flight with humor. I laughed. Still laughing. My husband read it and said, “That was you, six years ago, Leanne.” So funny.

  9. I’ve seen this debated many times and I’ve even BEEN the overweight traveler. I don’t disagree with you. I think it’s unfair that she put herself and her seat-neighbors in the position to either just put up with it or to have to do something about it. The airline should have intervened proactively, in my opinion.

    I feel for the airlines because there is no easy answer. You can’t really do it by weight or by BMI. Even if you tried – where is the magic line? Between 199 and 200? Between 249 and 250? What is the right MEASUREMENT that makes it seem fair? Tall people may weigh more. Muscular people have higher BMIs. There is only 16 measely ounces between the person who is over that magic line and the person who is under. Hell, I can take off all my damn jewelry and lose that much. 🙂

    But yeah – something needs to be done. It’s not fair to a passenger to have someone taking half of their seat. This from a person who used to be morbidly obese and had to travel for work.

    I also think that when we’re not talking about a morbidly obese person, maybe just a typical overweight person, we shouldn’t be so skittish. I have ridden subways in NYC and the Tube in London and people don’t freak out over one person’s body needing to be in close proximity to another. And yet on a plane? If my thigh should even make the slightest contact with my neighbors?? I can feel the person recoil as if my body was pure ACID (and not the good kind either).

    So maybe both sides can give a little.

    I don’t know the answer, but the airlines need to do something. And it’s plainly not fair for a person of massive bulk to try to sit in a regular plane seat. Not fair to his/her neighbors at all.

  10. I’ve seen this debated many times and I’ve even BEEN the overweight traveler. I don’t disagree with you. I think it’s unfair that she put herself and her seat-neighbors in the position to either just put up with it or to have to do something about it. The airline should have intervened proactively, in my opinion.

    I feel for the airlines because there is no easy answer. You can’t really do it by weight or by BMI. Even if you tried – where is the magic line? Between 199 and 200? Between 249 and 250? What is the right MEASUREMENT that makes it seem fair? Tall people may weigh more. Muscular people have higher BMIs. There is only 16 measely ounces between the person who is over that magic line and the person who is under. Hell, I can take off all my damn jewelry and lose that much. 🙂

    But yeah – something needs to be done. It’s not fair to a passenger to have someone taking half of their seat. This from a person who used to be morbidly obese and had to travel for work.

    I also think that when we’re not talking about a morbidly obese person, maybe just a typical overweight person, we shouldn’t be so skittish. I have ridden subways in NYC and the Tube in London and people don’t freak out over one person’s body needing to be in close proximity to another. And yet on a plane? If my thigh should even make the slightest contact with my neighbors?? I can feel the person recoil as if my body was pure ACID (and not the good kind either).

    So maybe both sides can give a little.

    I don’t know the answer, but the airlines need to do something. And it’s plainly not fair for a person of massive bulk to try to sit in a regular plane seat. Not fair to his/her neighbors at all.

  11. Here from BlogHer. What a way to linkbait.

    You have a right to ask for the armrest down. In addition to that right, you could consider invoking you right to blog with human decency (different than political correctness) when talking about other human beings. Yes, comfortable travel with fat people is a concern with lots of implications and the airline industry needs to respond. I believe we could talk about that issue without hyperbole and rudeness.

    You are full of it. There is no way this is true: “When she sat, only her buttcrack well, what else could one call it? was in her own paid-for space; one buttock was in my lap and the other was in the lap of the man on her left.”

    I do also believe this is true though, which I ironically found on your sidebar: And Love says, “I will, I will take care of you,” to everything that is near. –Hafiz So at least I found that here.

  12. Here from BlogHer. What a way to linkbait.

    You have a right to ask for the armrest down. In addition to that right, you could consider invoking you right to blog with human decency (different than political correctness) when talking about other human beings. Yes, comfortable travel with fat people is a concern with lots of implications and the airline industry needs to respond. I believe we could talk about that issue without hyperbole and rudeness.

    You are full of it. There is no way this is true: “When she sat, only her buttcrack well, what else could one call it? was in her own paid-for space; one buttock was in my lap and the other was in the lap of the man on her left.”

    I do also believe this is true though, which I ironically found on your sidebar: And Love says, “I will, I will take care of you,” to everything that is near. –Hafiz So at least I found that here.

  13. I call myself a “big girl” but I only just take up my whole seat on a plane. I agree that anyone who can afford it should have the right to air travel, but why should their rights invade mine? (I am the same way about smoking. You want to kill yourself, fine, but stay away from me and my kid while you do it.)

    I think they should do away with overhead bins anyway. You should only be able to carry on what you can stow under the seat in front of you. I don’t know what would happen with people in the bulkhead or behind an exit row. These people who bring on their entire vacation worth of stuff and then expect to jam it all in the overhead bin.

  14. I call myself a “big girl” but I only just take up my whole seat on a plane. I agree that anyone who can afford it should have the right to air travel, but why should their rights invade mine? (I am the same way about smoking. You want to kill yourself, fine, but stay away from me and my kid while you do it.)

    I think they should do away with overhead bins anyway. You should only be able to carry on what you can stow under the seat in front of you. I don’t know what would happen with people in the bulkhead or behind an exit row. These people who bring on their entire vacation worth of stuff and then expect to jam it all in the overhead bin.

  15. I’ve been known to reach right back over and slide the armrest back down. On our last flight a few months back, I did just that. The lady was in the window seat, but she had pushed the armrest up. I put it down for two reasons: 1) my button to push the seat back and plug in my headphones was on that particular arm, and 2) she didn’t need to have her butt in my seat. I paid for it, I was sitting in it myself.

    I’m overweight, but not so much I’d need a second seat. If I did, I would certainly buy the additional seat, because to do otherwise would embarrass me and everyone around me. (I hate it when I’m touching strangers with my body while we’re sitting. I’ll move around until I can sit without touching them, if possible, because it bothers me so much. Ugh. If we’re friends or family, I have no issue with hips hitting each other while sitting around, but a stranger should not have access to any skin on my body but my palm for a handshake.) I just can’t imagine why this woman wasn’t embarrassed herself! Spilling over into not just one but two seats that are already occupied is pretty bad.

    And I’m with you on the overhead bins. Keep your stuff in the bin over your own seat. Why do the people who are in the back put their stuff in the front? They can’t get out any sooner, because they usually do it front to back!

    GRRR!!

  16. I’ve been known to reach right back over and slide the armrest back down. On our last flight a few months back, I did just that. The lady was in the window seat, but she had pushed the armrest up. I put it down for two reasons: 1) my button to push the seat back and plug in my headphones was on that particular arm, and 2) she didn’t need to have her butt in my seat. I paid for it, I was sitting in it myself.

    I’m overweight, but not so much I’d need a second seat. If I did, I would certainly buy the additional seat, because to do otherwise would embarrass me and everyone around me. (I hate it when I’m touching strangers with my body while we’re sitting. I’ll move around until I can sit without touching them, if possible, because it bothers me so much. Ugh. If we’re friends or family, I have no issue with hips hitting each other while sitting around, but a stranger should not have access to any skin on my body but my palm for a handshake.) I just can’t imagine why this woman wasn’t embarrassed herself! Spilling over into not just one but two seats that are already occupied is pretty bad.

    And I’m with you on the overhead bins. Keep your stuff in the bin over your own seat. Why do the people who are in the back put their stuff in the front? They can’t get out any sooner, because they usually do it front to back!

    GRRR!!

  17. I so agree! The thought of your situation makes me very queasy.
    (strangers’ bodies in my space–yuck!) We are flying to NYC
    in a couple of weeks and I’m already worried about the possibility..
    My husband and I will be in the window/center, but that leaves
    an unknown person on the aisle seat. I’m pretty sure that I
    would talk to the flight attendant if put in that situation. Perhaps
    they could put you in first class to give you some space–or
    at least give you a voucher for a discounted flight.

  18. I so agree! The thought of your situation makes me very queasy.
    (strangers’ bodies in my space–yuck!) We are flying to NYC
    in a couple of weeks and I’m already worried about the possibility..
    My husband and I will be in the window/center, but that leaves
    an unknown person on the aisle seat. I’m pretty sure that I
    would talk to the flight attendant if put in that situation. Perhaps
    they could put you in first class to give you some space–or
    at least give you a voucher for a discounted flight.

  19. Did you talk to the flight attendant and/or insist that the arm rest be put back down?

    I’ve gotten to the point where I insist the arm rest be down. It’s not optional.

    Of course, I’ve also reached the point where any journey of less than a thousand miles is easily accomplished by car. Sure, it’s a two day drive, but … considering how much flying stresses me out, I figure I’m about even.

  20. Did you talk to the flight attendant and/or insist that the arm rest be put back down?

    I’ve gotten to the point where I insist the arm rest be down. It’s not optional.

    Of course, I’ve also reached the point where any journey of less than a thousand miles is easily accomplished by car. Sure, it’s a two day drive, but … considering how much flying stresses me out, I figure I’m about even.

  21. As someone who used to weigh 393 pounds, I agree with your post. The last time I flew at my heaviest, I bought a seat in first class. I knew I would fit there, and at the cost of buying an extra ticket, I could be in first class.

    Now, I’ve lost 254 pounds, and kept it off for quite a long time. I fly frequently with my husband, and the weight issue is down right rude and annoying. With how full flights are, you can rarely get your seat changed.

    I took a trip in June to Boston. In our group, we had a guy who certainly weighed 550. I feel I can be confident in saying this because of my weight a few years back. He needed THREE seat belt extensions. Not that we would survive a crash, but I did wonder what would happen to the others on board if his body went flying. Not once did they make him buy another seat….not in four flights.

  22. As someone who used to weigh 393 pounds, I agree with your post. The last time I flew at my heaviest, I bought a seat in first class. I knew I would fit there, and at the cost of buying an extra ticket, I could be in first class.

    Now, I’ve lost 254 pounds, and kept it off for quite a long time. I fly frequently with my husband, and the weight issue is down right rude and annoying. With how full flights are, you can rarely get your seat changed.

    I took a trip in June to Boston. In our group, we had a guy who certainly weighed 550. I feel I can be confident in saying this because of my weight a few years back. He needed THREE seat belt extensions. Not that we would survive a crash, but I did wonder what would happen to the others on board if his body went flying. Not once did they make him buy another seat….not in four flights.

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