Mamacita says: There is nothing on the planet as important as our kids, and we really need to keep aware of what’s going on in their world. Even when we don’t like to admit that these things are happening.
Oftimes, those things that are the hardest to believe, are the very things that are really happening.
Look out: I’m going to rant about bullies here. Theme: Bullies suck.
As parents, we sometimes hide behind the “not MY kid” philosophy. I’m sorry, but that one doesn’t work all of the time. It IS your kid, and it’s MY kid, and it’s HER kid, and it’s HIS kid. It’s all of our kids. And even if your kid isn’t actually (insert popular but inappropriate activity here), your kid is being exposed to other kids who ARE.
There has always been peer pressure. It’s worse now than it’s ever been. There have always been bullying, and name-calling, etc. In the old days, such vile little creeps were kicked out of school and sometimes even hauled down to the station and sent to “reform school.” Now, bullies and harassers have “problems,” and need “guidance and understanding,” and should be “coddled” so their “anger issues” can be kept under control. Well, I suppose that’s easier than telling the little shithead to control himself OR ELSE. And then making sure the “or else” is some kind of memorable deprivation.
I wonder why it is, that the parents of the worst and most dangerous kids, are almost always the ones who stand the tallest to fight for their ‘rights?’ Don’t sweet well-behaved kids have any rights? Why are most of the rewards given to kids who terrorize and sneer? Two days of bringing a pencil to class should NOT be grounds for a limo ride. Where is the limo ride for the decent kids who brought pencils to class every single day because that’s what decent kids are SUPPOSED to do? Positive reinforcement is one thing, and barking idiocy is quite another. Oh, it’s for ‘self-esteem?’ Don’t even get me started. Besides, I’ve already ranted about THAT one.
I have a real problem with bullies. I think a school’s focus should be to refer them to some outside source for help, get them the hell OUT of the building so they can’t hurt anyone else, and to concentrate on the feelings of the victims. Why do the bad kids get all the attention? It’s not fair. A school should be a safe haven for all kids. Why has it turned into a safe haven mainly for rotten kids? When did school become the best place to bully and torment and tease? Why don’t we put a firm and heavy foot down on these nasty little terrorists? Oh, right. Their parents. Sorry. I forgot there for a minute. Oh, and they have rights. More rights than nice kids have. “Anger management problems.” Right.
Money talks, doesn’t it. Loudness is heard over fairness. Excuses make more sense than doing what’s right. It’s too hard to be well-behaved; don’t punish a kid for being a kid.
Guess what. Normal kids don’t terrorize, beat up, taunt, attack, and blackmail other kids. Even games penalize for unnecessary roughness; why doesn’t real life? Because schools are afraid of terrorist bullying parents, that’s why. Or even weeping, whiny parents who ‘don’t know how to handle him” but who will take you before the board if you don’t coddle him in every possible way. One irate parent’s opinion is usually enough to cave in an entire school board. Above all things, they fear loss of money and adverse publicity.
Oh sure, I know that LIFE isn’t fair. But shouldn’t it be? And wouldn’t it be, if we all worked harder to make it so?
Bottom line: We need to stop enabling bullies, punishing their victims, and finding excuses for the bullying behaviors. We then need to focus on the decent, well-behaved, creative, kind, artistic, musical, literate, in-OR-out-0f-the-box students, and give them what a school was meant to be: a place where those who wish to learn and advance, may do so without being slowed down or stopped completely by, well, anything or anyone.