Comments on: Mamacita Likes Southwest Airlines

By: RonR

RonR — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:02:55 +0000

Sweet, finally a parent who understands how it’s properly done! Letting kids do as they please in public is never a good idea, UNLESS the kid has been taught HOW to behave in public. The “kids will be kids” philosophy is good only up to a point. Kids will be kids because they ARE kids, but unless they are taught – most emphatically – by adults as to how decent people act when they are mingling with other people, we don’t have a sweet kid, we’ve got an obnoxious monster. I also love your posts about letting kids reap the consequences of their own actions. There are far too few parents willing to let that happen these days, they’re all too concerned with shit like unearned self esteem and “feelings.” My kids were taught early on how to behave in public and they knew quite well what would happen if there were meltdowns or tantrums in public, crowded places. Our kids knew how to behave in restaurants, malls, doctors offices, and anywhere we took them. We did not spank them, but we had many an excursion where ice cream was eaten by everyone but one or two. Oh, and I really believe that many parents these days baby their kids long after babyhood is over. Let your kids grow up. Require them to behave. It’s not rocket science. Ill-behaved kids are one reason many older adults are afraid to go to the mall.

By: Mr Teacher

Mr Teacher — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:31:35 +0000

This is a great post! I agree with your comments that good behaviour is often a result of good preparation- and of course the paragraph about fat people paying double on planes, or indeed any form of public transport, is great and correct.

I no longer give up my seat for pregnant women on buses and trains due to some past mistakes, namely that I would rather see a pregnant woman standing up than a fat girl sitting down in tears!

By: Ashleigh Burroughs

Ashleigh Burroughs — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 14:32:14 +0000

AMEN to you and your comment-ers. “Manners make the world go round” was our mantra in raising our kids. Driving cross-country with my 21 year old daughter, we stopped every 3 hours for food and stretching. After a few days, over dinner in the hotel dining room, next to a rowdy family with unconcerned parents she leaned over and said “YOU never let US act THAT way, did you???”

She’d hit the nail on the head – parents are in charge and, really, it’s not that hard to set the rules and stick to them. (YES, tidbitor!) It hurts in your heart, sometimes (yes, BobDad, you are right) but we brought them into this world and we have a responsibility to make sure they don’t besmirch it. How will they learn if we don’t teach them?????

By: anniebird

anniebird — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:43:48 +0000

I agree with your sentiments as usual, Jane, but I’m not sure I agree with your conclusion that this boy’s bad behavior was his mother’s fault. Two is a volatile age. Heck, three is a volatile age, depending on the kid and the day, and while I’m delighted that the other boy in your story was so well-behaved, even his mother’s excellent preparation and thoughtfulness might not have been enough to keep him from making the trip difficult had he been having a naughty day.

I recognize that yours is a reaction to people who really don’t consider others. I share your opinion that having high expectations of our children and ourselves, especially in public places, is a duty we have to ourselves and the people around us. Because I’m in the trenches raising five (soon to be six) children, I also know what it’s like when a normally well-behaved child is unreasonably, stubbornly naughty in public. In those moments, I am embarrassed and genuinely sorry, and it is a tremendous kindness when the people around us are forgiving.

There is a hefty amount of “live and let live” involved in public transportation, and some parents travelling with children take advantage of this. I still think it’s best to serve up a generous measure of tolerance and forgiveness in these situations, since at some point or another, we all need it.

By: tidbitor

tidbitor — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:00:37 +0000

You Go! My son was on four fllights before he was 2 years old-three of those flights being six hours each. The best thing I heard when disembarking was ‘There was a toddler on the plane?’ Parent, people, parent……………

By: Leanne

Leanne — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:26:54 +0000

A BlogHer panel about this issue would be awesome, Jane. Please submit it at once! The room will be packed solid with parents and educators. And both, which is what all parents are, you know.

Yes, you do know. That’s part of why we all take you so seriously. You really do KNOW.

P.S. I’m watching your Twitter debate, too. So far, you’re winning.

By: Twitter Observer

Twitter Observer — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:10:21 +0000

I’m following along with your debate on Twitter, Jane, and I have to say that even though I know SnoozanK far better than you, I’m with you on this one.

I don’t want her to know which side I’m on, though, hence the anonymity here.

I have a feeling that most of us are siding with you on this one, Jane; you just make so much damn sense.

Have you considered submitting this topic to the BlogHer10 committee? I’d love to watch you in action on a panel there!

By: Nancy O'Brian

Nancy O'Brian — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:06:57 +0000

My two sisters are fat chicks, and I always end up in the middle seat with them, and I hate it. Why should I suffer because their forks are always in the potato salad? I agree that they should pay more than I pay. They certainly take up more room than me, and their weight is sucking more fuel out of the gas tank than mine.

Why don’t airlines weigh each person and charge them accordingly? That would be awesome, and fair!!

By: BobDad

BobDad — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:03:47 +0000

Not a teacher, but as a father I coudln’t agree more with you, Mamacita. I have four sons, three great, well-behaved boys and one great, hyperactive, consequences-be-dammed boy. Do I allow one son to deprive three sons of anything? ANYTHING? No, I do not.

Many’s the time I’ve taken three, but not four, boys to the park, the pool, etc. Many’s the time I’ve punished one son, but not three. Mix the numbers around any way you want; I’ve used that stat.

My point? Nobody should get what they don’t deserve. And nobody has the right to deprive anybody else of what they deserve, either.

This lesson was learned easily and early on by three of my sons. I’m not sure the fourth will ever connect his behavior with the consequences, but in the meantime, he will NOT deprive the other three of a single thing.

My job is to help him learn to live in this world successfully and happily (if possible) as long as his contentment doesn’t “take” from anyone else.

I’m his father, and I’m their father, and they’re equally important to me. I do my job with all four. If that means cracking down harder on one, then so be it.

No, I don’t like it a bit. But I do it, because it’s the right thing to do.

I expect my sons’ teachers to do the same.

By: Lynette

Lynette — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:48:58 +0000

As always, you’ve hit the nail on the head, Jane. Can we all say AMEN!!!!?

My kids ain’t perfect, but in public, nobody would ever know that. I hope the public never finds out, either.