Comments on: It Is A Terrible Thing Not To Become A Woman When One Ceases To Be A Girl

By: Spoodles

Spoodles — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:56:07 +0000

Having had 3 myself, I can tell you it’s not that bad. Not good, either! I hate giving birth, to tell the truth. (But, oh, how I love those babies!) I’ve spent enough time in the birth center to tell you that most women don’t scream very much, or cry very much, but there’s always one woman who just CAN’T DO IT IT HURTS OH PLEASE GET IT OUT AND BTW HONEY I HOPE YOU DIE FOR DOING THIS TO ME!

Maybe it just really hurts them that much, but it’s always been my impression that the more robust the lady’s health, and the better her pedicure, the more likely she is to holler like a cat with its tail caught in the door. It’s the attention. Some women just neeeeeed it.

On the other hand, those hormones on the second day after birth are so bad, I wouldn’t fault any woman for crying, ever. I have a rather stoic personality and I rarely shed a tear, but you can’t come into my room on the second day without flippers and a snorkel or you’ll drown in the tears. Hormones are a bitch. With each of my babies I’ve had to have a nurse take over on the second day for several hours while I get myself straightened out.

By: Susan R.

Susan R. — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:40:29 +0000

I remember those days of having to bow to a hospital’s seemingly silly rules! My roommate for my first time was a selfish, immature woman who didn’t care about me at all; just herself. She HAD to have someone with her at all times and even then all she did was cry. Depressing! The second time, things had changed considerably and I could have my baby with me whether my roommate had guests or not. I still opted for a few baby-free hours in the afternoon, though. So I hear ya, Jane!

I did go for the meds, though. I don’t deal with pain at all! But that was my choice, and everybody’s different. I would like to have been like you, but oh well.

By: srp

srp — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 20:48:22 +0000

I only had one… she didn’t want to come out… would probably still be in there now.. 23 years later if she could have stayed. So I had a saddle block with a new fangled thing called duramorph… you could move but no pain for 24 hours… it was great.. I could walk around right after and everything and then the pain shots hurt worse than the pain so… forget it.
You are right… grow up… and keep on growing up as the kids grow. They are not going to die if their binky falls on the floor and you don’t have access to boiling water at that moment so you wipe it on the burp rag and put it back in their mouth. They are all going to fall and hit their head… maybe bust a lip or scrape a knee or two… get over it…don’t instill that fear of the red stuff…it is a sign of life. If I had it to do over… I would have had a second.. preferably a girl as well. She would have probably had red hair.. I couldn’t get lucky twice. (Boys with red hair do better than girls, although it seems that nowadays the red hair is really in fashion). Mine is 23 and grown up and out of the nest…. 15 hours away.

By: Ms. Cornelius

Ms. Cornelius — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:00:23 +0000

Twenty minutes. Whoa.

Mine was thirty hours, so you can BET they gave me painkillers– I do not live in freakin Mongolia nor in 3000 BC– but otherwise, okie dokie! We had a gal on our tour of the hospital who wanted to give birth in a tub with dolphins (can you imagine how traumatizing that is to sentient beings such as dolphins? I mean REALLY, where’s the ASPCA when you need ‘em or at least Jacques Cousteau or one of his kids now that he’s gone?) and then to go home that very night with her infant and completely out of control two year old who nearly knocked my fat pregnant self down running circle between my legs. She also wanted the placenta for some kind of recipe she was going to make.

I am NOT kidding. Really. Thanks God I don’t live in California, or this story would be even weirder.

Yeah, and one of my neighbors said to me. “You mean you sent the baby back to the nursery at night???????” with all the implications that my kid would then grow up to be Jack the Ripper. Needless to say, we are no longer friends.

And why why WHY didn’t they kick out Big Sissy’s swarm of humanity so you could have some time to yo’self? Maybe if you’d drawn a Pentagram on the floor or talked about eating the placenta?

Just sayin’.

By: Mizmell

Mizmell — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 11:29:40 +0000

Your story brought back memories of my own. My oldest was born in an military hospital — where pain medication was frowned upon! I had a very long labor and consoled myself by believing I would eventually pass out from the pain (like cowboys in old westerns do). It never happened. I do remember when I was in the recovery room, a nurse brought me a stack of bedding and told me to which room I was assigned. I carried the bedding just hours after a very long labor, down the hall to make my bed.
Second child, public hospital, I was in and out within 36 hours.
Its truly amazing the advances we have nowadays in labor and delivery.

By: Lynette

Lynette — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 04:58:12 +0000

I know what she is talking about, ts. Back in the day, only one baby and family at a time was allowed in the hospital room. Nice roommates took turns graciously, but I sympathize with Jane because I had a selfish roommate too, when my twins were born, whose husband never left so I couldn’t hvbe my babies with me much. Fortunately, this practice isn’t practiced any more! I doubt it’s her memory, more like it’s inconceivable to people nowadays that it could ever have been so weird back then!

By: TS

TS — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:13:42 +0000

I still say your memory is fuzzy when it comes to your recollection that she “needed rest and a lot of babying herself, which meant I [you] couldn’t have MY baby in the room”. That just doesn’t make sense in a hospital, Jane:)

By: vicki

vicki — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 15:37:00 +0000

THIS is the best post I’ve read in months and months- possibly years. And thank goodness I stopped by to say how much I love you because we were busy becoming unemployed in February when you first posted it but having recovered from that, I was missing you. And I saw you over at Sparky’s and that reminded me. You are one helluva fine writer. And woman. Thanks, Jane.

By: OldOldLady Of The Hi

OldOldLady Of The Hi — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 09:31:02 +0000

I myself have never had a baby but I have known hundreds of women who have….And each one experienced their pregnancies differently and the births differently, too….Your experiences sound quite wonderfuk—especially the second time round—Talk about quick!
But I must say I am surprised at how angry you still are at that woman you call The Big Sissy….She certainly sounds like she and her family were not very caring about you and your needs and I think that is a shame….But how she experienced the birth of her child and her pain…well, everyone’s pain threshold is different. And one cannot always judge others by oneself….
I LOVE that your son had such RED Hair….that had to be gorgeous! And 20 minutes! You just made it to that hospital, didn’t you? LOL!

By: Kim

Kim — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 00:09:48 +0000

I just love reading your stories and I think your advice is spot on!! I wish we were neighbors.