Mamacita Says: Where Are All The Sidewalks?

sidewalkMamacita says:  Neighborhoods are supposed to have sidewalks.  Period.

I don’t know what kind of schooling our urban and suburban designers “graduated” from, but their education has been sadly lacking.  Neighborhoods are supposed to be just that:  NEIGHBORhoods.  These days, even if two houses are right close together, it’s impossible to get from one to the other without walking across the yards or going into the street; that’s because most modern neighborhoods are being designed and built without sidewalks.

It’s almost as though the people in charge of building places for people to live are interested in that and only that:  places IN WHICH people may dwell.  Alone.  Isolated from everyone else dwelling nearby.  They don’t seem to be interested in designing NEIGHBORHOODS wherein people may LIVE.  With NEIGHBORS.  You know, people with whom one might have supper or barbecues, or from whom one might borrow an egg or a cup of sugar, or get advice about pretty much anything.  NEIGHBORS.  People whose first and last names we know.  Children we recognize when we see them skating and riding their trikes and bikes on the SIDEWALKS all around the block.

But oops.  “Neighborhoods,” and I use that term loosely, no longer have sidewalks, and we don’t know who is dwelling in those other houses near ours, and even though we’re dwelling near other people, we’re not LIVING near them, because we’re all holed up in our hermetically-sealed houses, many of which were designed with windows that don’t even open, getting our exercise via our Wii and conversing with people online only.

Gone are the days when any kid was everybody’s kid – watched over, guided by, and occasionally disciplined by other people’s parents because that’s what nice people did.  Many modern parents would call the police if a “neighbor” dared tell their perfect child to stop picking someone else’s flowers or pushing, shoving, hitting, or otherwise bullying another child.  It’s too bad that our communal living conditions have DEvolved to this level: that we are no longer interested in helping each other and each other’s children become decent citizens.  It’s a moot point these days, anyway, because in far too many contemporary housing developments (they’re NOT neighborhoods!) there are no sidewalks for kids to play on anyway, and nobody ever goes outside except to water or mow those smooth lawns that never saw a badminton net or croquet hoop.   Besides, if kids played on the lawns, the lawns would be MESSED UP.  Oh ick.  Perish THAT thought.

I’m not talking about rotten kids – and yes, there are such kids.  I’m not talking about hoods, or bullies, or mean kids, all of whom might be a lot less mean, bully-ish, or rotten if their parents allowed NEIGHBORHOODS to help raise them, which in turn means allowing kids to let the consequences of their own actions fall on their own heads by means of being allowed some free play and having eyewitnesses who don’t hestitate to step in and tattle.  I’m not talking about “free range kids,” which is a euphemisms over-protective parents use to describe other people’s kids who are allowed to BE kids and play outside with no hovership involved.  Then again, maybe I am.  How sad, that such a euphemism even exists, when “free range” is how children are SUPPOSED to be.  Don’t confuse this with neglected children who roam because they have no place to go and no one to care.  NEIGHBORS call the cops when they see that.  People living in housing developments don’t even notice, because nobody ever goes outside.  Heck, even our cars are inside.

Yes, it’s a scary world.  Yes, there are perverts and molesters and all kinds of monsters “out there.”

I’m not sure today’s overprotected, obese kids would know one if they saw one, unless there was an interactive Wii game about it.  Even then, seeing it in real life wouldn’t mean anything.  Our kids have no experience in dealing with adults other than parents and teachers, and such inexperienced kids would probably go with anyone who told them to.  Kids who play outdoors are much more savvy than that; they know what each other’s parents look like and any strange adult would stand out like a sore thumb.

Turn off the tv.  Unplug the video games.  Not forever, but for most of the oncoming summer’s daylight hours.  Open the door and insist that your kids spend HOURS outside.  When they look at you blankly and ask you what they’re supposed to do, tell them to use their imaginations and don’t let them back in the house until it’s suppertime.    It’s awful the way so many of today’s kids don’t even know how to climb a tree, and even if they DO know how, Mommie is standing underneath, wringing her hands and begging Billy or Susie to “Be CAREFUL, darling!!!!! and otherwise scaring the poor kid to death and giving him/her the assumption that there is always danger involved in the big frightening outdoors.

When your kids come home covered with bruises, scratches, scrapes, and bumps, don’t make a big deal out of it unless they were caused by another child, on purpose.  Even a broken bone from childhood’s play isn’t really a big deal.  Kids fall down and kids break their arms and legs.  We’ve lived with that for generations, and when we do, it’s not so traumatic when it happens.  Many parents SUE when their kids gets hurt while playing.  Unless there was shameful neglect, which doesn’t happen often, this is ridiculous, and such people are morons.    Kids are SUPPOSED to be covered with band-aids and dirt.  If yours isn’t, at the end of a lovely summer day, then you’re doing something wrong.

There is something very creepy and Twilight-Zone-ish about a neighborhood in summer, with no kids playing all over it.

Quite frankly, I don’t think kids who live less than a mile from school should even be riding the bus.  Walking in groups is safe.  Press charges again anyone who interferes with them, and I include bullies in that.

Take back our NEIGHBORhoods!


Comments

Mamacita Says: Where Are All The Sidewalks? — 8 Comments

  1. I love the attitude!

    My wife and I are engaged in a long-term struggle to give our kids (4-1/2, 1-1/2, and soon-to-be-born) a life of neighborhood play. It all started with a 2-1/2 year search for a new home on a block that would be ideal for our kids (lotsa kids our kids’ ages, calm street, walkable destinations, outdoor culture, etc.). We found such a place last June and moved in there.

    Now, we’re turning this place into what I call a “Playborhood.” (That’s the name of my blog on this subject.) Our latest effort is to change our front yard and back yard to make them social meccas for kids and their parents.

    This all is working. At our old house, we encountered other kids outside once every week or two, even though we were outside practically every day. Now, our kids play outside with other kids in the neighborhood every day, and we *never* plan it ahead of time (i.e. it’s never a “playdate).

    About a third of the time, there are more than two or three kids playing together. Our goal now is to get large group play happening more often, and to make it more independent.

  2. I love the attitude!

    My wife and I are engaged in a long-term struggle to give our kids (4-1/2, 1-1/2, and soon-to-be-born) a life of neighborhood play. It all started with a 2-1/2 year search for a new home on a block that would be ideal for our kids (lotsa kids our kids’ ages, calm street, walkable destinations, outdoor culture, etc.). We found such a place last June and moved in there.

    Now, we’re turning this place into what I call a “Playborhood.” (That’s the name of my blog on this subject.) Our latest effort is to change our front yard and back yard to make them social meccas for kids and their parents.

    This all is working. At our old house, we encountered other kids outside once every week or two, even though we were outside practically every day. Now, our kids play outside with other kids in the neighborhood every day, and we *never* plan it ahead of time (i.e. it’s never a “playdate).

    About a third of the time, there are more than two or three kids playing together. Our goal now is to get large group play happening more often, and to make it more independent.

  3. YAY! We made the list! You’re AWESOME!!!

    Raising 6 kids out in the country, we expect bruises, scrapes, bumps, blood and mud (thankfully, not broken bones, yet). Our closest neighbor is at least 1/4 mile away (Doc Pruitt) and the nearest neighbor with kids is almost 2 miles away. Obviously, our 6 are each other’s closest friends.

    The upside is, immediate neighbors include several prairie dog towns, a pair of porcupines, deer, elk, red-tailed hawks, a pair of golden eagles that reside on the ridge, coyotes, a bobcat, geese, ducks, muskrats, garter snakes, horny toads, leopard frogs, salamanders, horned owls, a huge turkey flock, raccoons, black bears…. honestly, we could do without the sidewalks out where we’re at 😀

  4. YAY! We made the list! You’re AWESOME!!!

    Raising 6 kids out in the country, we expect bruises, scrapes, bumps, blood and mud (thankfully, not broken bones, yet). Our closest neighbor is at least 1/4 mile away (Doc Pruitt) and the nearest neighbor with kids is almost 2 miles away. Obviously, our 6 are each other’s closest friends.

    The upside is, immediate neighbors include several prairie dog towns, a pair of porcupines, deer, elk, red-tailed hawks, a pair of golden eagles that reside on the ridge, coyotes, a bobcat, geese, ducks, muskrats, garter snakes, horny toads, leopard frogs, salamanders, horned owls, a huge turkey flock, raccoons, black bears…. honestly, we could do without the sidewalks out where we’re at 😀

  5. I agree with most of what you have here. But what happens when the “free range children” of emotionally abusive and neglectful parents who actually support their lies when “they say they didn’t do it” actually kick dents in your garage door with soccer balls and break enough branches on three trees to kill them and trample all of your beautiful lavenders? And when their emotionally abusive dad comes after you in kind and somehow turns it around on you, the victim of the destruction, when you call him and his wife out on not watching their kids? What then? Yes, it happened to me. It was ugly. But luckily I had a neighbor witnessing (who is a lawyer) and eventually the abuser apologized and offered to pay damages for his destructive children. Sad situation. But sometimes free range children are out because they don’t want to be anywhere near their yelling parents and decide to destroy property because they are angry at the world. We are all watching that house closely for further signs of abuse to the kids and wife. Trust me.

  6. I agree with most of what you have here. But what happens when the “free range children” of emotionally abusive and neglectful parents who actually support their lies when “they say they didn’t do it” actually kick dents in your garage door with soccer balls and break enough branches on three trees to kill them and trample all of your beautiful lavenders? And when their emotionally abusive dad comes after you in kind and somehow turns it around on you, the victim of the destruction, when you call him and his wife out on not watching their kids? What then? Yes, it happened to me. It was ugly. But luckily I had a neighbor witnessing (who is a lawyer) and eventually the abuser apologized and offered to pay damages for his destructive children. Sad situation. But sometimes free range children are out because they don’t want to be anywhere near their yelling parents and decide to destroy property because they are angry at the world. We are all watching that house closely for further signs of abuse to the kids and wife. Trust me.

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