1. When the elevator door opens, wait until the people inside exit before you enter. Don’t stand directly in front of the elevator, either; stand to the side so people have room to exit.
2. When you are driving and need to turn, use your turn signals. Turn them on a half block before you turn, DON’T swing out into the other lane as you turn, and be sure you turn into the inside lane.
3. Do not allow your children to open and play with toys in a store unless you intend to buy them. Otherwise, you’re just a jerk, and one of the reasons things are so expensive.
4. I know it’s expensive to dine out, but please leave your server a tip. He/she works hard, and some restaurants’ managers are evil, Satanic entities who count on tips added to the hourly wage to make minimum wage; other bad, bad managers have a Tip Jar. If your server is good, tip well. Of course, if your server isn’t good, leave him/her a nickel. Tips are for good service, not begrudging, slow, bad service. But if you get good service, please acknowledge it with a nice tip. It’s not easy to be a server.
5. Turn your car stereo down. Sub-woofers that vibrate like a jackhammer and can be heard in the next county over make you look like a redneck tool.
6. Please watch your language when you’re in public. There are children listening, even when you don’t realize it, and just because they aren’t YOUR children doesn’t mean we shouldn’t all behave ourselves.
7. Turn off your cell phone in the theater, and don’t talk. If you can’t do both of these things, please rent the movie and watch it at home. Also? Have dinner before you come to the show. Popcorn is one thing, but thirty dollars worth of lard, salt, and refined sugar, all with loud, crinkly wrappers, ruin the experience for the people who have to sit near you. People with small bladders should sit on the aisles. If your child is too young to shut up in the theater, your child is too young to be taken to the show. Go home.
8. I think it’s wonderful to meet a friend while shopping, but please don’t stand in the aisle talking; you’re in the way. If you want to have a conversation, go to the lobby or foyer or lounge or restroom, or someplace where you aren’t inconveniencing others. If the restroom is small, don’t hang out in there, either.
9. If you brush your teeth in a public restroom, please clean out the sink when you’re finished. That’s just common courtesy. If there is only one sink in a busy restroom, don’t do anything except wash your hands hurriedly.
10. If you take your children to the public library, please teach them to whisper first. People who talk out loud in the library are boorish.