Ten Things Tuesday

The thunder is rolling and the lightning is flashing and smart people everywhere are turning OFF their computers but please notice:  I’m still writing at mine.  I’m not really addicted to it; I can quit any time.

This Tuesday, my ten things are about things I hate find wanting.

1.  I hate greatly dislike drivers who don’t use their turn signals, or who use them and let them continue to blink as they drive blithely down the road.

2. I loathe am somewhat put off by people who park in the handicapped spots when they have no license plate or hangar that gives them rightful permission to do so.  I would LOVE to see every single one of these offenders ticketed and fined a fortune.

3. Litterbugs are disgusting. Period.  No exceptions.

4. People who hold conversations in movie theaters: are such beings even human?

5. Anyone over the age of 12 who still writes in teenage cutesy code, ie texting symbols, when they’re not texting. Or when they are.

6. “Anyways” is not a real word. People who use it apparently don’t know any better, which is never a viable excuse for anything.

7. “Lose” and “loose” are not interchangeable. Please learn the difference and never choose the wrong word again. I’ve voted “no way” on scholarship applications before, based on spelling.

8. Yes, Virginia, capital letters ARE necessary at the proper times, and if you don’t use them you appear stupid.

9. I do not wish ill fortune or harm to anyone or anything, but someday, if WalMart should catch fire (God forbid) I want to see the fire trucks ram all the cars parked in the fire zone – yes, even those who are there “just for a minute” – clear across the parking lot into next week.

10. Fat people who wear short shirts. Why? Have they no regard or respect for those who have to see that?  The horror! COVER IT UP!!!! NOW!!!! EWWWWWW! I think of them whenever I see cottage cheese, or the overhang from an ice cream cone. Not attractive. Ever.  And why, for the love of God, do they always wear low-slung jeans, too? That is not a love handle; that is a fully-blown-up inner tube around their waist.  People who have a fat flap should not let it ever see public light or air.

I might be in a mood.  Why, does it show?  Many apologies.  I didn’t mean to loose my cool.  anyways, U haf 2 cut me sm slack, 4 im tird – n – stff thse dayz.

P.S.  Wassuuuup?


Comments

Ten Things Tuesday — 8 Comments

  1. #10 reminded me of the time I was in NYC and we were taking a walking tour of Manhattan. There was this exceptionally… robust woman who was standing beside a fence. She was wearing the shortest short you can imagine. Most of the shorts had disappeared into that strange and awful place near the top of her thigh that people with overly robust qualities tend to have. The she turned into a pretty strong wind and began to set sail… that’s the best way I can think to describe it. Luckily, we rounded a corner quickly. I had doused myself with gasoline and was striking the match when she left my sight.

  2. #10 reminded me of the time I was in NYC and we were taking a walking tour of Manhattan. There was this exceptionally… robust woman who was standing beside a fence. She was wearing the shortest short you can imagine. Most of the shorts had disappeared into that strange and awful place near the top of her thigh that people with overly robust qualities tend to have. The she turned into a pretty strong wind and began to set sail… that’s the best way I can think to describe it. Luckily, we rounded a corner quickly. I had doused myself with gasoline and was striking the match when she left my sight.

  3. I’m irritated by people who drive in the left lane..the “keep right except to pass” section of the driver’s manual must have been missing. Why do manufacturers make clothes in large sizes that are doomed to make people look awful….or 8 year old look like harlots for that matter?

  4. I’m irritated by people who drive in the left lane..the “keep right except to pass” section of the driver’s manual must have been missing. Why do manufacturers make clothes in large sizes that are doomed to make people look awful….or 8 year old look like harlots for that matter?

  5. Okay, Mamacita; your opinion on this. I use my turn signal, but I only let it click four or five times before turning it off. My sister tells me this is unacceptable – that it should be on through my whole turn – but I say that, once I’m making my turn, isn’t the turn signal kind of redundant? Besides, if drivers miss it, then they just weren’t paying enough attention. What do YOU say?

  6. Okay, Mamacita; your opinion on this. I use my turn signal, but I only let it click four or five times before turning it off. My sister tells me this is unacceptable – that it should be on through my whole turn – but I say that, once I’m making my turn, isn’t the turn signal kind of redundant? Besides, if drivers miss it, then they just weren’t paying enough attention. What do YOU say?

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